The Talk!!

[glegend]

My question is regarding "The Sex Talk". Now what I would like to know is if your parents gave it to you when you teenagers as well as if you are a parent if you have given/gave it to your children. If the didn't did they just waited to get it from PE class, or are you waiting for your children to get it from PE class. Cause honestly my parents didn't give me the talk, I don't know why but my dad just wouldn't do it when my mom asked him to his response was "he's gonna learn it in PE class". My mom didn't tell me it directly she just said she wanted him to talk to me about something but he said nah he will learn it in school and then she brought "girls" and that I can come talk to them or even my uncle or anyone in the family if I need to. So I put 2+2 together and figured it out. But honestly if parents are doing this then I feel that I've missed out on something beside other things.

[glegend]

I kinda feel like I'm missed out. Why should everyone else get the talk from their parents and not me.

[Miss Firecracker]

You mean to tell me that some parents actually tell their children how to do the nasty?

 

Not mine, buddy. I found out from my cousin.

[DropToZero]

I never got the talk, my parents *claim* they did...but I sure don't remember it, and I'm pretty sure I would remember something like that...don't you think? hehe Yeah, I learned through school pretty much...I don't remember getting it...so you're not the only one.

[Lana0120]

Got a very vague mention... well more about methods of protection from STDs etc than anything else lol

[ButterflyWrists]

my mum didnt tell me, and nor did she let me have "sex talk" at school.. but i learned it in biology in a way lol!

 

my mum didnt even tell me about periods, so don't worry your not alone

[glegend]

I just got it from school. In grade 7 they brought this lady into the school who talked to us for an hour for about a week. Grade 8 we did the same thing but the lady didn't come in the PE teacher gave it to us but it was only for 3 day. In grade 9 PE they gave it to us during our health unit which was a 10 in-class unit. And then whatever else I learned in the grade 9 and 10 biology portion of science.

[Never_the_same]

hey glegend, you are not alone. i never had 'the talk' with my parents. i learned it from school and from friends. i think only very few kids have this sort of conversation with their parents because its either their parents think that their children arent ready for it or the children are just embarrassed talking about it with their parents.

[CharLit]

We had a "where babies come from" graphic novel for children at our house, which I read numerous times with my mother from quite a young age... my parents never made it seem like a big deal, which I think is a great way of approaching it. I realised it was about something "real", but because it was wrapped in a story about a family with a new baby on the way, I didn't really see it as any different from my other story books, but still learned the basics.

 

That book was about sex, conception, pregnancy and childbirth. I don't THINK my parents gave me 'the talk' about contraception and STDs, but then school took care of that when I was eleven (and then later again in more biological detail, but the protection information was repeated every year too, along with the emotional side of it which I think was bloody fantastic of my school)... I probably talked to my parents about it afterwards but I don't remember exactly.

 

A few years later my mother was wondering whether she should keep condoms in the house so my brother & I would have access to them if we needed them... I laughed and said it was a nice idea, but no way would ANY teenager want a condom stash in the house so their parents would notice if any went missing

 

Glegend, it's a pity so many people feel awkward about talking to their children about this, but unfortunately there's not much we can do about it. Make sure you know your stuff, and vow to do it differently with your own children!

[dan10]

glegend,

your not missing out on anything with the sex talk. my mom told my dad to give it to me so right there in front of my mom he just said, "use a condom" so then a little later my mom came and tried to give it to me but she failed miserably (i think its cause she doesnt have the same parts as me) but anyways its not something that you should be seeking to have. plus if you watch any shows like southpark or family guy or even the simpons they all say in some episode something to the effect of.... "when a man and a woman love each other very very much, they take off their close and the man puts his yoohoo into the girl's waha. then they call the baby stork and the stork drops off the baby"

 

so there you go... thats the sex talk you think your missing out on

[glegend]

Honestly I though that parents at least gave "The Talk" their children. I didn't that so many don't. I know with an old friend of mine it comes up quit a bit when his parents talk to him about his new girlfriend but they think they are sexually active which he says they are not.

[Aurian]

Charlit, my parents did the same. I had one of those graphic books as well when I was very young, so sex was never a big mystery.

 

I never had any boyfriends in high school, so I didn`t get a talk about condoms and such until pretty late, but at that point I kinda picked up what was what by then. My mom did buy some condoms for me when I had my first serious relationship... at 22!

[luvursmile]

I never got the talk either. I did ask them once about sex. All they said was "Dont do it." ](*,)

[jsosk88]

I never got the talk either. I pretty much learned everything in health class

[glegend]

You see since I never got "The Talk" I never bring up sex at all. I just don't feel comfortable doing it. I can bring it up with friends but not family.

[CharLit]

Oh, neither do I, and as I wrote my parents were very open about it... but I simply have no desire to talk to them - and they of course had sex only twice, to conceive my brother and myself. Anything else is just gross

 

Joking, but do you feel a strong desire to talk to your parents about it? Or are you happy being able to talk to friends?

[sarey]

I found out from my sister.

[glegend]

Joking, but do you feel a strong desire to talk to your parents about it? Or are you happy being able to talk to friends?

 

 

I don't really feel the desire to talk to them about it at all. As a child I missed out on quite a few things. I feel that if every other parent gave their children "The Talk" and my dad just said "He'll learn it in school" then I feel that I'm still missing out as well as thinking why wouldn't he just give me the "The Talk". I can talk to my friends about it but when it comes up its always jokingly. Me and my a friends can talk about it seriously but come on we don't cause we never need to.

[KG]

Had to have the"talk" this summer with my 12 year old...included some very softcore porn, cuz he just wanted to know what was "under there"

Went well, he respects women, was just curious.

And I trust him not to surf for "nude, hot girls"

The talk is uncomfortable...but produces results.

[glegend]

Had to have the"talk" this summer with my 12 year old...included some very softcore porn, cuz he just wanted to know what was "under there"

Went well, he respects women, was just curious.

And I trust him not to surf for "nude, hot girls"

The talk is uncomfortable...but produces results.

 

I remember your thread, I had posted a reply in it. How did the things work out? as well as how did he take "The Talk"?

[JadedStar]

Most parents are far too uncomfortable to do this and it's a shame. I was very forthright with my kids. I talk openly to my son about birth control even now and he is 19. he gets embarrassed at my candor but he knows I am not going to gloss over the fact that if he is not using protection we are going to have a baby in the family. yeah I say "we" because at 19 and as irresonsible as he is grandma will be having to tow some load and to be honest, I don't want to do that at this stage in my life. I am also not dumb enough to think he is not sexually active with his girlfriend.

 

Parents should be mature enough to get over their embarrassment and discomfort. They should realize that whatever they feel is ten times harder for the kid and they should take the plunge and start the conversation. I don't know how parents who are afraid to talk about serious issues with their kids honestly think they will raise kids who are able to be open about serious issues with others as they grow up.

 

Leading by example is the best course of action IMO.

[glegend]

So JadedStar would you agree with this. That children who get pregnant at an early age 14-18 years of age are a result of their parents feeling too embarrassed to talk to their children about sex.

[JadedStar]

So JadedStar would you agree with this. That children who get pregnant at an early age 14-18 years of age are a result of their parents feeling too embarrassed to talk to their children about sex.

 

Sometimes but not all the time. Sometimes kids get pregnant at that age not because of not having the talk but because of just making bad decisons. young people (and older) will do that sometimes. Even tho I talk to my son about it doesn't mean it can't happen. Hopefully it will decrease the liklihood tho.

[glegend]

Sometimes but not all the time. Sometimes kids get pregnant at that age not because of not having the talk but because of just making bad decisons. young people (and older) will do that sometimes. Even tho I talk to my son about it doesn't mean it can't happen. Hopefully it will decrease the liklihood tho.

 

I can agree with you on what you have written. I agree that sometimes it depends on bad decisions. I believe that if "The Talk" is not ignisiated that that could lead to the decision of findong out about sex by putting it into practice. Also I think bad decisions reflect on the type of people the child is involved with, you know you could have the greatest kid in the world and bamm gets mixed up with the wrong person and/or crowd and then they change. They start popping drug, drinking and messing around by having sex.

Hopefully by you having "The Talk" with your son, which I think is good not even good great, that it will prevent him from actually getting a girl pregnant.

[CharLit]

I can agree with you on what you have written. I agree that sometimes it depends on bad decisions. I believe that if "The Talk" is not ignisiated that that could lead to the decision of findong out about sex by putting it into practice. Also I think bad decisions reflect on the type of people the child is involved with, you know you could have the greatest kid in the world and bamm gets mixed up with the wrong person and/or crowd and then they change. They start popping drug, drinking and messing around by having sex.

Hopefully by you having "The Talk" with your son, which I think is good not even good great, that it will prevent him from actually getting a girl pregnant.

 

I read recently that the majority of abortions in the US are sought by women/couples of 25 and older who either didn't use protection or used it incorrectly. You would have thought that they'd have picked up the information along the way somehow by then, even if they never had 'the talk'.

 

I think schools should still have primary responsibility for educating kids about sex, pregnancy and safe sex, starting at a young age. Not because they have more responsibility for children than their parents, but because schools should have all the correct information. Not all parents are equally well informed, and of course many are uncomfortable talking to their children. I know that when I told my mother I was going to switch from the pill to an IUD, she was worried because what she knew about IUDs was 30-year-old information. She's had no reason to stay up to speed with new developments in birth control.

 

To me, the importance of 'the talk' is letting your kids know there is nothing they can't talk to their parents about if they want to, that they will always have a safe environment there to ask questions or discuss problems. If parents take a non-judgmental attitude, 'the talk' is also an important step towards children feeling comfortable about sex and their sexuality later in life - neither something that must be done as soon as possible because it is exciting and forbidden, nor something to feel guilty about if you do it outside of marriage.

 

Same goes for drinking and drugs I think... my parents always had a very liberal attitude, and thereforeeee I never went wild with any of it. Scare tactics just don't work.