Girlfriend sent pictures to a guy

[dancow]

Ok basically im 20 my GF is 17 and we've been going out 2 years. We get on really well and we love each other. Ok first thing.. Shes flirty and a few events led to another till i found out more.

 

First after about 3-4 months i saw her texts from her ex-bf asking about meeting her on the night of the texts and she replied yes. I asked her about it and she said she wunt dare meet him she was joking. ( i checked her messeges because she reads mine so i thought o well i read hers) this is when i knew she wasnt the trusting kind.

 

Then about 2-3 months later i saw more texts with 2 other lads saying that they love her and stuff like that and she was saying same things back. I asked her about that and she said she was just messing and that she'd delete their numbers so she did there and then.

 

A bit later i was on my O2 account and say a messege sent from it 2 a number i didnt knw saying it was charlotte and saying i love you and miss u 2 someone... she said it was her mate (Charlotte) doing it. i checked the time the message was sent and it was at 7am in the morning when she was alone at home so it had 2 be her. but she said the time must have seen wrong cause it was her friend. I rung the number and the guy didnt know her name but maybe he was from MSN and didnt knw her surname.

 

Next about after a year some guy e-mailed me saying ur girlfriend showed me her T*ts on cam. He had the pic and sent me it but canceled it and went offline. I asked her about it and she admitted it. She said he said i was cheating on her and that if she did that 4 him he'd tell her who i was cheating on her with ( i wasnt cheating though). So after we spoke we agreed she should still never do that and she shud just trust me. We agreed that she never goes on cam 2 lads again for any reason unlesss there her real friends.

 

Then about a month later i made an account 2 check on her and i had a random pic of a guy up and she said "your hot" and then she went on cam for me when i was him and she didnt do anything though but i said 2 her i told u not 2 go on cam. I let her off after this cause she said i shunt of done that. but i said i felt like i had 2.

 

Then she kept staying at her "mates" alot and her phone was engaged all the time and he said her friend uses it or her auntie calls.

 

I was browsing link removed to see her profile on the front page so i thought oh cool ill go see her profile. (so i made one) then i found under "people i have crushes on" a guy there and she had a comment on his pic " your so fine!" and i asked her and she said the comment was from her friend.

 

Then about a week ago i was on my O2 account and found out she sent 2 messages again 2 someone else saying i love u and miss u and wonna speak 2 u so please ring me. thats when i said 2 her u said u wunt ring or text guys u dont knw and that u wunt go on cam so she broke the rules so them i said 2 her im gonna have 2 think about this.

 

Then the worst bit. i was on her MSN account retrieving her O2 details 2 top up her phone 4 her and then some guy said " your ass look good in that pic" so i carried on as her and got him 2 send all the pic that she sent him. turns out hes 32 and he had pic of her Ass in french knickers and 1 of her in french knickers n bra and another with her top up. Also when i was on there 2 other lads were chattig 2 her so i thought ok ill see wats going on here. and one was 40 and the other 45 the 40 yr old kept trying 2 ring her and said he loves her and then 45 yr old was saying u coming 2 meet me then like u said. She admitted it all and said there no excuse 4 it shes sorry and shes gonna change cause i dumped her and she said shes gna stop it and said i can have her passwords and check her phone all the time and that shes gonna close all her profiles down 2 prove that she loves me and is gonna change. so i said ill wait 2 c u cause shes on holiday and doesnt come back till 31st. She said she didnt know there ages and thought they were 18-19. and she said she was never gonna meet em. They all said that i know that she wunt meet her when she had a BF only 2 meet as friends. So i dnt thnik she'd cheat on me but this flirting has gone 2 far.

 

Shall i see how it goes now were broke off and give her a chance or jsut end it cause shes had enough chances all ready.

[Suesser Tod]

You know the answer for that. She is a lier, and she hasn't changed, so why bother with yet another chance?

[dancow]

She says shes gonna chance from now on cause ive dumped her and shes realised how much she wants me and that shes been a * * * * * 2 me and shes gonna change.

[DropToZero]

People don't change...not trying to be negative man, but it's only because you dumped her that she said all those things and claims she will. I've had ex's in the past do the same thing(claiming they've changed), if you get back with her, give it a month or so and she'll return to the same as she was before...

 

I think you have MORE than enough suspicions to cheating, and I wouldn't doubt she's been lying to you for a loooooong time, don't listen to words...and I don't usually say that, because listening is important...but what's more important are her ACTIONS, if her actions and words don't co-incide, then she's wasting your time, cheating and lying to you. Actions over words any and every day. I will more than guarantee you that she hasn't really *changed*...just drop her and move on. Personally, I don't she even respects you...so I'd drop her in such a sense that you never see or talk to her again.

[dancow]

Well ill see what she has 2 say. We get on soo well though i'd be happy to stay friends but i don't really wonna upset her by not getting back.

[Xetra Dax]

Bottomline: you don't want to be with a liar.

 

You also did the wrong thing.

 

By forgiving her, you are giving her the green light to cheat on you. Basically your saying: its ok to cheat on me because i will forgive you and take you back anyway.

 

You should send a STRONG RED SIGNAL instead by breaking up with her. So that she understands that there are negative consequenses to her negative behaviour. Now your just rewarding her or basically saying , please use me as a doormat.

 

Break up with her. Show her who's the boss.

[dancow]

I really wonna give her one last chance. And she hasnt cheated as such. She hasnt done anything physical but she doesnt respect me!

[JeckyllNHyde]

dump her and forget her. she is playing you and you deserve more.

i know a girl like her, i think she is 17/18. she has a long distance bf, a gf at school and she flirts with every guy on msn. saying: ur hot. she also sends her pics to all guys.

but she does it more for validation i guess and to get compliments and boost her ego. a secure person doesn't do that.

people like that don't change till they are ready on their own and they start tuning in to their conscious.

besides, most people won't tolerate being cheated on even ONCE. you did it. i would say she got one chance too many.

also, she is younger and is still exploring what's out there. i would find someone around 19-20 if i where in your shoes, since when someone is the same age, there is a higher chance they aren't in a relationship for "physical fun and kissing" but more b/c they are serious about the other person. (of course not all 17 year old's are alike.)

she will also respect you less if you take her back, b/c your letting her get away with all the stuff she did.

[AwdreeHpburn]

dancow - I don't know what she's playin' at but it sounds to me like she doesn't have much respect for ANYONE - not even herself.

 

If having a chat to her hasn't worked, giving her second and third chances hasn't worked, let me ask you this? What do you think will?

 

Giving her yet another chance?

 

I'm not trying to be a jerk here mate, but she sounds pretty selfish.

 

You've already made up your mind it sounds like. Just be careful. Do what you feel you need and I hope things work out for you.

 

If it doesn't happen, just know that the best way to change someone is thru trauma. Maybe the trauma of you actually leaving her will be enuff incentive to her to stop trying to get off with every guy on the internet.....

[alwaysthegirlfriend]

wow there were so many times that you caught her on things. you kept catching her in txts or messages and meetings she said she never went to but do you believe her. she is 17 and in highschool right? and are you in college? do you know how many little highschool kids are probably trying to get her and here she is thinking she is slick because her bf is older and doesn't know he is getting played.

[Suesser Tod]

I think you have MORE than enough suspicions to cheating, and I wouldn't doubt she's been lying to you for a loooooong time, don't listen to words...and I don't usually say that, because listening is important...but what's more important are her ACTIONS, if her actions and words don't co-incide, then she's wasting your time, cheating and lying to you. Actions over words any and every day. I will more than guarantee you that she hasn't really *changed*...just drop her and move on. Personally, I don't she even respects you...so I'd drop her in such a sense that you never see or talk to her again.

 

Words are not that important. Yes, they can be used as a tool for communication, but they have no real strength, and they don't know the difference between a truth and a lie.

 

Actions speak louder than words. Actions can't lie.

[AwdreeHpburn]

^ DITTO

^DITTO

^DITTO

 

 

 

well said SusserTod......

[treefrogkate]

Dancow, it sounds like you've already made up your mind that you're going to just get back with her, as you're ignoring the advice everyone is giving. Why did you ask if you're not going to listen?

 

i don't really wonna upset her by not getting back.

 

It certainly doesn't seem like she cares in the slightest if her actions hurt you, so when is it your turn to not get upset?

[dancow]

Well i know she cares about me its just the fact that she thought she could get away with it and that it would do no harm. She telling the truth more now and i know that she wants to try cause shes been on the phone none stop and spent alot on money on me and she doesn't have much either. She regrets it and is deleting her e-mail and making a new 1 and getting a new number to get rid.

[Altruist]

Why do you have to put up with this? Have some self-respect and free yourself from all this stress. It may be hard but it will be worth it.

[treefrogkate]

Well i know she cares about me its just the fact that she thought she could get away with it and that it would do no harm.

 

That sounds like a terrific reason to go behind someone's back.

 

She telling the truth more now and i know that she wants to try cause shes been on the phone none stop and spent alot on money on me and she doesn't have much either.

 

I fail to see how buying you off guarantees that she's not going to still be sending pictures of herself to other guys.

 

She regrets it and is deleting her e-mail and making a new 1 and getting a new number to get rid.

 

What's stopping her from doing the same thing with the new number and email?

 

I really hope you've had a long discussion about where your boundaries are and how she is going to show you that she is sorry and that she has decided to show you the respect you deserve.

[tmp0620]

The one and only thing you can do is dump her and move on. She's constantly lied to you, and won't stop. You shouldn't be at all concerned about her feelings, as she hasn't been at all concerned about yours.

 

Please don't take her back.

[dancow]

Well here's a nice update.. i went on her MSN and only 2 find shes been on webcam 2 a lad showing her ass off in a g-string lol. and i think she might actually know him in person.

[treefrogkate]

Here's a rule of thumb: If you feel the need to check up on your significant other, the trust is gone. Without trust, there can be no relationship.

 

It's over. Cut your losses and move on. She's not worth it.

[Suesser Tod]

Well here's a nice update.. i went on her MSN and only 2 find shes been on webcam 2 a lad showing her ass off in a g-string lol. and i think she might actually know him in person.

 

I thought she had already changed. She went as far as getting a new phone number, didn't she?

[dancow]

She has cheated apparently according 2 a guy. I pretended 2 be her and he said he had but i think he knw it was me cause she said it dnt sound like u and her mates dnt knwa bout it and this guy wants my gf so i dunno.

[JeckyllNHyde]

DUMP HER! Lol, seriously mate... You will meet another girl.

[Suesser Tod]

You'll end up raising God knows whose children and even then, you won't be convinced that she cheated on you, so you'll be giving her the 3000th chance.

[Foxystar]

How do you not know she hasnt done anything physical? Think about those pictures and about texts about meetings. I mean, Im pretty certain if I went on MSN and sent naughty pictures of myself to lonely 35 year olds and they texted me to say "come meet me". It isnt because they want to play bingo - or something else that isnt sexy.

 

Also, you said she stayed at her friends often at one point - and then there were the pictures immediately. Do you actually know she was at her friends all night or at all? You probably dont.

 

I think a girl, even if she didnt have sex with these men, doesnt deserve you back. I mean, she lied to you not once, twice, three times...but like a dozen times and then when she was finally caught she confessed. She should have confessed when she was first caught.

 

You dont need that. She needs to grow up. And you both need to do your own thing for awhile - she sorts out her own things while you sort out yours.

 

You should never take someone back if they lie to you repeatedly on a subject and not feel guilty (because she didnt until you broke up with her..).

[Rabican]

Shes a liar, an attention * * * * *, and probably a * * * * * to boot dude.

 

Any girl worth two cents wouldnt behave like this.. I hate to be blunt, but its just the way it is. Anyone acting this way, texting their ex bf's, sending naked pics, etc. just isnt ready or willing to settle down.

 

Dump her. Or dont, but just remember I said I told you so! when she actually does cheat on you.