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Womens reactions too me.


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I don't know why but I find it very difficult to get a girlfriend.Well I actually do know why at least partly why as Iam very shy with not much self confidence with women.


Yet I don't think that is all the reason.At times I do make attempts to make contact. When a girl looks at me or gives me eye contact I glance back just for practice really. I have even tried smiling when they do .But almost always they look down ,looking embarrassed. An example ... I was in the pool the other day and a girl was swimming in the lane next to me. Before I even got in and this was no word of a lie she was looking at me a bit when I was trying to pick an unbusy lane. When I did get in she carried on.It even got a little uncomfortable to be honest. As she kind of eyeballing me.


When I was done , I was facing the side and felt someones eyes on me looked round and she had kind of stopped as was looking at me. I smiled trying to be friendly but she quickly swam off.


To be honest I didn't find her very attractive I was partly just being friendly and getting a bit of practice in as I do find it hard to make eye contact with girls. I find many women act nervous when speaking to me and a bit unfriendly but perhaps Iam not interpreting it wrongly.


This happens quite frequently. I thought in the past it must be because Iam not attractive.As women hardly approach me or flirt and wouldn't I be getting phonenumbers thrust on me if I was in fact goodlooking?


. Yet I have had just in the past year women I hardly know or strangers compliment me on my looks as unbelievable as that sounds. E'g a girl with her friends came up after seeing me running and asked if I had a girlfriend when I said no she said 'why not ? not being funny or anything but are you Gay? ' 'because you are very goodlookiing you must like men'. She was rude yes but it makes me even more puzzeled. Iam also friends with an older woman who was asking if I had a girfriend and said a similar thing but a bit more subtlely.Telling me there is nothing wrong with being Gay now



The only thing I can think of regarding my appearance is Iam tall and muscular , I'm not arnie but I have a physical job and work out hard at the gym. I have a similar build to a light heavy weight boxer.I have noticed on message boards like these some females sterotyping men like me as players or with large egos.Or even intimidating.


Iam anything but that..... could that be why Iam having trouble ?I think sometimes it is more acceptable to be fat or skinny because if you are a man and do look fit and strong people put you in a box as vain. The main reason I work out is for work the looks factor is a useful byproduct.




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I cannot offer any help but can only sympathise with you. It's probably your looks which women find disarming. You may have noticed women being friendly with guys around you but when you try to talk to them they act all nervous around you and give the impression that they are unfriendly: This unfriendliness IMO is not a sign that they don't like you, just that they probably feel nervous around you and think that maybe you are too good for them.

How do the extremely beautiful women react to you? Those are known to be confident.

Here's what I have discovered happening generally when women see a guy who is really tall, muscular and very handsome:

those who don't feel that they are beautiful enough may take a glance at him and look no further.

those who think they are beautiful will look a little longer and may even stare.

those who know that they are very beautiful will look the longest and may even flirt to show that they are interested and are good enough for him.


What you can do is to approach the women. If you are very handsome and a girl gives you 'the look' then you have to approach her if you are interested. If you don't then she will either think you are stuck up or gay. Most women never think that a tall, handsome guy could ever be shy.


I am talking from experience.



My thoughts..

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Just have to keep practicing, reach out of your own comfort level more, take some hits and some flights, and keep going.


Don't let a woman's nervousness put you off too much. Get curious about it, watch, and try reaching accross that to get to know some of these people a little bit better.


Looks become very little to a woman once some good conversation gets going. So if you can help someone else feel comfy, that will lower nervousness on her part.


Shyness is often misunderstood as being uninterested. When you think about it, it's a reasonable assumption because shy people often expect the other person to do most of the "work".


No biggie. Keep reaching out, eventually you find a woman who is responsive and who you connect with.

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You do make a lot of sense to be honest. I think I forget how I act around a very goodlooking girl. Try to avoid looking or making an * * * * of myself if I have to talk to her for some reason .


I don't see many girls who I would consider very beautiful but a month back I was in town with a friend and a girl was walking towards us with her friends and I thought she was another friends sister who wears a bikini around performance cars at shows. I was staring at her intently trying to work out if it was her. She did notice this and whispered something to her friend. She carried on looking at me and smiling.When she got closer I realised it wasn't her but someone who looked very like her.


She actually stopped and said 'hello'.Me being as dumb as usual mumbled an apology saying I thought she was someone else and scurried off.


I don't approach women as Iam shy so I think this is the sticking point. Thanks for the helpful advice.

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From your description it's my guess that you're absolutely stunning, and that means you're probably also intimidating to some girls.


The guys that make me the most goofy are the muscular ones, but those are the ones that I also can't talk to, because I become sooo tongue-tied, shy, an idiot really. A guy who looks that good makes me feel suddenly VERY intimated, especially if he's a stranger. A good-looking, tall and muscular heavy-weight boxer? Yeah, that definitely could be intimidating, in many ways.


When you notice them looking you probably should try being friendly, open, smiling, saying hello. That might help a lot. For some girls a good-looking guy needs to show that he's open and approachable, warm, not hesitant or scary.


As to what Altruist wrote... I think a woman's beauty is no indication of her confidence or belief in her own beauty. A woman doesn't behave towards a man according to her outward beauty, but according to how she feels about herself inwardly, and that is often the exact opposite of how she looks outwardly. Also, women tend to be intimated, self-reject (just like guys), but some women don't care how they themselves look when they like a guy, they just know that they like how HE looks. Yep, ugly people pursue good-looking people all the time, because they believe they deserve the best (unlike some of us).

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Good point Miss T! Something that I overlooked.


To Gripper: I think you ought to be happy when you see girls getting nervous around you. That means, as Miss T mentioned, you are having an effect on them. USe that as confirmation that the girl is probably attracted to you and approach her.

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Good point Miss T!

Hey, that's twice now... are you trying to hint that "Miss M" should change her name to "Miss T"? I tend to be the accommodating type, but probably not that much.


Something that I overlooked.

Yeah, just like there are handsome guys who are totally convinced they're ugly, the exact same is true for women. No matter how many people say it, there's just no way we can feel it inwardly. And it's those internal feelings that determine how we respond to others. Also keep in mind that our society is hard on a woman's emotions when it comes to her appearance, no matter how good she really looks.


And to the OP, you said you feel shy and unconfident, but that's also how the women feel when they see you. They can't fathom that you feel shy when they're looking at your handsome and muscular outer covering, because they may be dealing with their own overwhelming shyness at that point. So yes, approach them, but try to do so in a disarming way, being friendly and warm, and don't forget to smile.

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Hey, that's twice now... are you trying to hint that "Miss M" should change her name to "Miss T"? I tend to be the accommodating type, but probably not that much.




Aah I never realized I was mixing up your name! Is there a Miss T on the forum? I shall be extra careful in future.

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