Awkward?

[soccer14]

Well we broke up again...still hurts but we both know we'll end up back together...again. We're an on and off again couple. But this time...the rules changed...he got another gf. I mean we always said we could see other people but we never did. He finally did. So I did to. We haven't had contact in a few days. Which is ok. Cause breaks are always good. But his mom called me. She cares about me and always likes to know what's going on. We were talking about me maybe going there to visit everybody. I would love to do that. His little sister is like my sister. And his mom is like my mom. But...i'm worried that if I see him i'll break down and cry. I mean I really wanna go...but not if he's there. Does this make me sound selfish? I'm still waiting for a reply back from his mom about going there for September long. I'm hoping all goes well. What i'm asking though is...how many of you think it will be extremely awkward for us? for me? for him? Hmmm...