What does this mean - "on a break"?

[ckman3]

So,

 

I've been doing things with this girl on and off for the past month (she is almost 22, I am 24). In my mind, just as friends, which I'm cool with because she is really smart and we get along well - I like her a bit more but I'd be fine with just staying friends. I was always a bit uncomfortable about how comfortable she was around me (we went dancing the other night and she didn't even tell her boyfriend!) - mostly because she has a boyfriend and I don't mess around with other people's relationships (personal honor rule). She is really good as making a person feel good about themselves and her body language is always suggestive that she interested in you - either as a friend or more. I figured she was just good with people/guys as she has a few male friends.

 

Then I asked her, "wow, I'm impressed with how comfortable your boyfriend is with you hanging around other guys like this - I don't know if I could be that mature or patient - it blows my mind a bit" To which she replied - "oh, we've been taking a break for the past month."

 

That makes a lot more sense in my mind. But, what does it actually mean to be "taking a break"? Are they officially broken up? Do they plan to get back together? He and her had only been going out for 3 - 4 months before that.

 

Ideas on whether I should ask her out on a date directly? I got sneaky last week and when we confirmed on going out for this weekend, I said "Sounds like a date to me" as I was signing off - just to test what her reaction would be. Maybe she saw through it because she replied, "that date sounds good - see you then"

 

Advice on what I should do?

[Entropy Smith]

That means she is available.

 

To place her on the GF track you need to rezero your relationship.

 

Break that date for no reason. Or stiff her. unfortunately to break the chains of the dreaded friend label you need to start being unpredictable and unconcerned with her.

 

Any chance to define a hanging out as a "date" will fall flat.

 

Although quite honorable i think your personal honor code is a recipe for attraction failure/lonliness.

[ckman3]

Hi there, thanks for your advice. I have to admit it did seem counterintuitive to me. So let me just recap here:

 

1) Bring relationship to zero - start a new.

2) Blow off all "dates"???

 

Also, I'm a bit surprised at, though I appreciate, your comment about getting rid of this honor code of not messing with other people's relationships - no one ever told me it was a recipe for disaster before. I wonder what other people think about this.

 

Normally I would just say "thank you" and move on here but your advice makes me pause to wonder what other people think.

 

Anyone else have any comments - especially about those comments made by Entropy - agree, disagree?

[ghost69]

they are free to see whom they want with an intention of getting back together. it's like a test of the mights. to see if they should stay together or not. move in.