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What should I do?


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(Apologises if this is in the wrong section)

I'm so confused and frustrated.


Okay, so, I go to a special needs school, I'm a resident (means I go stay/sleep there during the week and come home on weekends/holidays) there, and I hate it. I have a huge home sickness problem, and I have bad, bad phobias, like, leaving the house for a long period of time, fear that something may happen at home when I leave, etc. My mother is an alcoholic and when she drinks TOO much, she is a risk to herself and others. I worry about that alot too.


Now, I was promised a day place(meaning like, go there in the day and come home, everyday, like a mainstream school does), last term, on one condition; I went there everyday, every week, etc. Okay, so, I didn't go full time. Not my fault though, one week I had conjunctivitis, and the other week was activity week, and I had a choice, CHOICE, to go or not. I choosen not. They have held these two weeks off against me and said I cannot go day place because I did not 'stick to my side of the deal'. However, I was advised BY THEM to not come in the week I had conjunctivitis (as we all know it is highly contagious and very damn painful too, aswell as irritating), so I misunderstand why they hold them two weeks against me when both of them were not my fault. I wasn't purposely skipping school.


And NOW they are saying I have to return to school on Sunday evenings, not Monday mornings, LIKE IT WAS SCHEDULED FOR WHEN WE RETURN FROM SUMMER HOLIDAYS. So, now I'm confused and frustrated and I have said 'I am not going back until I am day place, they promised me, and the weeks I had off were NOT my fault, so I'm not going back until I go day place or, I go back on Monday mornings, and that I'll be able to go day place soon'.


I find it unfair and totally ridiculous they promised me something I worked hard to get, and they haven't given me it.


They promised, and now I just suspect they "promised" me just to get me to go to school.


So, here's my question.


What should I do?


Baring in mind I have a huge phobia of leaving the house, and that I hate, HATE, going to school under these conditions. I am fully capable of day place, but they think otherwise because my previous schools I didn't go a whole lot of the time. But, this is for real, this is a real school, the last 'school' was a programme for those who don't go to school, this is proper education, not some programme, I am fully dedicated and capable of going dayplace, they just don't trust me, it's so frustrating, but they won't even give me a damn chance at this.

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Even my sister thinks that it's a bad idea.


They think, if I go their all week, I'll be at a less risk of harming myself, though, I have harmed myself, even attempted to kill myself, in there. I hate it there.


And, if I were to go day place, I'd still be organized, because the daily schedule would go as this;


Wake up, brush teeth, wash, bath, sort hair out/makeup, get dressed for school, go to school, come home, get out of school clothes, go out for a bit, depends on certain circumstances, if not go out, do my homework, come onto the computer, chat to people on MSN, blabla, watch TV with mum/sister, have tea (if I have it, not usually hungry anymore), have a quick bath, brush teeth, go to bed.


Simple as.

I'd be organized either way.

At school, our schedule is;


Wake up, shower, get ready, breakfast, go to school, come back from school, get changed, then the rest of the evening, we barely do anything. We have a day a week where we go out on activities together, but the other days we don't do much, watch TV, go out on rollerblades or whatever, but that's it, it'd be like at home, except at home you're less damn bored, in my opinion, and then you have tea, then you do what you like, then you have supper (like, hot chocolate and stuff), then you do whatever, then you go to bed, or have a shower beforehand...


It's the same as being at home.

I don't get how it'd be more organized for me.


I'm more organized at home, in my opinion, aswell as my sisters, she thinks since going to that school I've been worse, behaviour wise too...

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You will get in trouble if you don't go to school, or rather, your mother will.


I agree that they were a bit hard on you when it came to the day place, but it was obvious from what you said that you were on some kind of probation there, or trial. Perhaps the powers that be (do you have a social worker?) have decided that the residential school would be better for you at this time, given your behavioural issues and the fact that your mother is an alcoholic.


School sucks, no matter where it is. Unfortunately you just have to bite the bullet and make the best of it until you are old enough legally to leave. The trick is to try and rise above your circumstances as much as possible. It's only a few years out of your young life, and while it may be a pain, it will pass very quickly.

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Apparently she won't get into trouble.

They've told me that.


I'm not on probation or trial there, they know how difficult it is to attend to a school like this, aswell as the fact it's a residential school, however, I was PROMISED a dayplace for when we return, by the board of education, by my manager in my unit, by staff, by ALOT of people.


I'm not going until I get it. I went, only missing TWO damn weeks, which were NOT my fault, they KNEW this, and I'm NOT going back until they give me dayplace.



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