New Attraction Theory

[robinhood]

Hey, I've been wondering about girls for quite a while now and propose a random but worthwhile to her theory, I wonder if anyone agrees with me: even if you dont agree, please post a comment to lead me into the right direction?

 

I've recently noticed that many girls are attracted or even notice guys more other ethnic groups. Before anyone thinks that I am trying to be racist, I'm sorry, but you're mistaken. Quite a few people agree with me that they find asian guys interesting, is this true? And guys, would you give "bonus points" if you saw an asian girl? Replies appreciated ^^

[Dako]

I wouldn't be more attracted to someone because they're Asian.

[tiredofvampires]

Your question obviously implies geographic location -- that you must be somewhere in the United States, and possibly not in an area that is a "hotbed" of mixed ethnicity. I am guessing, anyway.

 

What is "exotic" is of course, what is not often seen. So in Asia, tall, blond Europeans are thought of as extremely interesting and attractive -- and are often in demand in the dating market.

 

I live in the only area of the United States where Caucasians are a minority. It's almost like another country, ethnically. In fact, there is a lot of racial tension here that is a basic reversal of the minority challenge in the contiguous U.S. Mainland. Meaning, that often I am the only white woman in a roomful of people, depending on the event. At any given night, in a local diner, I might be one of 3 or 4 other white people in the entire establishment.

 

So in terms of dating, this presents some really significant challenges -- not because I am racially prejudiced, not by any means, but because the fact of the matter is that various ethnic groups (particularly if they adhere to traditional mindsets within the broader American context) do have vastly different values, belief systems and especially social expectations. So for instance, on the surface I might hit it off really well with an Asian man -- which I have done, and it was my strongest and one of my longest relationships -- because we like the same music and pop culture and so forth, and have the same interests, but on an emotional level and cultural expectation level, there are so many hidden elements that do not jibe there. These can be very subtle, such as me talking rather loudly in a spirited way, and being told to tamp it down to be more modest. Things like that are part of a relationship that over time can become dealbreaking, if differences are not bridged and appreciated. You might find someone of another ethnic background fascinating, interesting looking and attractive only to find that the being with them can be a real challenge on less superficial levels.

 

Having said that, I have had serious relationships with men of different ethnicities -- Filipino and Japanese, besides white. These men had many attractive qualities to them because of some of their values that are hard to find in typical American culture, even though these were not alien to the American standard. But I was not attracted to them for their exotic looks PER SE -- I was attracted to them as I would be attracted to anyone who has a certain chemistry. Many men here who are white do have a tremendous affinity for small, petite Asian-Pacific women, and so actually, because they are favored here as "exotic", it's hard for a white woman with a more cosmopolitan mentality to find like-minded men. I think with all due respect to the various ethnicities in my locale, I need to probably look for someone of a more familiar ethnic background to mine. It's really hard to compete here, being of Slavic-Mediterrean extraction! Most people here wouldn't know a Russian from an Italian!

 

This is not to say I'd cross anyone off the list. I do find Indian men (as in the Asian subcontinent), and Indian people for that matter often stunningly gorgeous. I think someone with an accent is very sexy and there is some allure to a person from a foreign country to me, but again, it would have to be someone I have some affinity to and a place as well that resonates with me.

[tylercdurden2004]

I wouldn't be more attracted to someone because they're Asian.

 

Likewise. Or yellow, purple, mangenta etc

[tiredofvampires]

^ I might have a problem with either magenta or lime green. If they were chartreuse but had nice eyes, it could work.

[JeckyllNHyde]

Just a question cause I am not sure: what ethnicities fall under Asian?

Indians? Indonesians? Chinese and Japanese only?

 

Where I come from, I have quiet a few Asian (meaning Chinese friends) and they have a hard time getting girls.

[tiredofvampires]

Asian is:

 

Everything as far West as India and Bangledesh and Pakistan (though these are sort of on the "cusp" and the racial categorization might still be considered technically Causasian, even though these countries are considered Asian); Nepal, Tibet; and moving farther East, Mongolia, China and Japan; also all Southeast Asia which is Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia, Thailand and the hundresds of Indonesian Islands.

 

Some ex-republics of the once-Soviet Union such as Kazakstan and Kyrgystan have ethnicities with a little Asian blood mixed in -- if you look at those faces, you can see the cross-over with Mongolian.

 

Your pop quiz is tomorrow! lol...

[JeckyllNHyde]

LOL! Wel, thanks for clearing it up. There was a thread where the question was: what race do you find most attractive, and Asian was the one that came up most.

I guess it really does have to do with where you live, b/c where I live Asians have the hardest time attracting the opposite sex. Well the guys anyway. For the Asian girls it isn't so hard. I am Asian myself. Yet I'm not so attracted to my own race.

I do however seem to have an "extra" attraction when I hear a guy is Latin

 

Btw, spicysangria--> Cool Clip. LOL funny stuff. But it's right on the money!

[tiredofvampires]

Yeah, it's interesting -- Asian women here have their pick, and while there are enough Asian men to go around, there seems to be "status" in having a white bf. Which, in turn, the white guys jump at the chance for. I'm not saying all these relationships are based on superficialities, but mixed-race couples here, male white/female Asian are quite common. Whereas the reverse is not as common. For some reason, Asian men are not widely considered as the world's most romantic lovers -- which is, from my experience, unfounded.

 

We hardly have any Latin people here at all, but my ex (who was an LDR for me) was 1/2 Cuban and 1/2 Okinawan! Talk about an amazingly strange combo, from every standpoint imaginable! He could have swung either way -- though his personality was FAR more towards the Latin side, with Latin tastes and he spoke Spanish. His face was definitely hard to identify ethnically at first, but oh soooo beautiful. He had the almondy eyes but with Hispanic lips (mmm...) and bone structure. God, I miss him.

[tylercdurden2004]

Part of the reason why caucasian are attractive to some asians is the typical caucasian features. Where causcasians tend to like dark skin and find that exotic asians typically find lighter skin attractive.

 

Big noses and ears on men are as I understand desirable traits.

[JeckyllNHyde]

Big noses and ears on men are as I understand desirable traits.

 

or did you mean undesirable?

[tylercdurden2004]

or did you mean undesirable?

 

Nope I meant desirable. This is what was explained to me while I was in asia by several people. I believe a lot of the art work reflect this as well.

[robinhood]

Thanks for the replies! Sorry for not making my theory a bit clearer, but I wanted to ask if you would give bonus points to asian guys/girls? For example, if you saw an asian guy and would normally rate him 6/10, would you give him an 8 just coz of his race? Some girls at my workplace love this asian boy but they say he's not that goodlooking, only "average" lol

[JeckyllNHyde]

isnt that being positivly racist? (if that's possible) haha

i think i get what you mean: they give him extra points but not based on looks, but more cause of the culture and the beliefs, and everything associatd with being asian u mean? (b/c they seem to find it a plus point for guys to have/turn-on.)

[Dako]

I don't really assign a score to people I meet. I suppose if you're peoplewatching at an airport, it's a pastime.

[tiredofvampires]

Recently there was a statistic report released which classifies the rank of an ethnic group in correlation with their avg. income. Asian-American women were at the top.

 

Looks are just one aspect of the whole picture. It creates a favorable first impression, but the questions lies within how long one can keep that up.

 

The results of this "study" or report do not surprise me, and I believe the answer has nothing to do with exoticism or looks.

 

It is because in general, Asian culture values education very highly, and the work ethic accross the board is intense. Particularly in the urbanized areas -- most notably in major Chinese cities and Japan. In school, ALL the most brilliant and brightest, hard-working students were Chinese and Japanese students. The post-graduate students my father taught (a professor in engineering) that were at the very top of the game were Indian and Chinese. Working hard to make the family proud of one's achievements is absolutely a sacred cow in these cultures, and of the women who go to the University, this pressure in some ways is even more so, because they come from the most progressive families, and the sense of indebtedness to the family to shine is enormous.

 

These women have WORKED like I've never seen to climb ladders, it's ingrained in them and I think that's why they have high incomes. They earned it by tooth and nail, their ambition level leaves others in the dust.

[tiredofvampires]

Thanks for the replies! Sorry for not making my theory a bit clearer, but I wanted to ask if you would give bonus points to asian guys/girls? For example, if you saw an asian guy and would normally rate him 6/10, would you give him an 8 just coz of his race? Some girls at my workplace love this asian boy but they say he's not that goodlooking, only "average" lol

 

This question actually puzzles me. I mean, why would you rate someone as looking better than they actually do because they are a certain race? I can't imagine why anyone would do that unless they are attracted to an idea, not the visual impression (and the person) in front of them.

 

I mean, I would not say someone is more attractive or less attractive than they are because they grew up somewhere, or because they liked a certain food or not. Why would someone give "bonus" points that don't count towards the actual person? I don't get it.

[tiredofvampires]

TSome girls at my workplace love this asian boy but they say he's not that goodlooking, only "average" lol

 

"Love" as in have crushes on him and would date him? Or as is, find him like an adorable pet they'd like to adopt?

 

There is an element of fascination and sensationalism in this, I suspect.