I don't know if I can fill his "void"...

[Sweetheartleftbehind]

I have been dating him for about 3 months, and he confessed his "love" to me recently. I have fall for him so quickly that it scares me to death... But I want to be with him as much as I can, we do everything together, he makes me so happy... I was really wondering if everything was too good to be true.

 

Last night he was acting very quiet and withdrawn... I finally got up enough courage to ask him what was bothering him, he told me that it was his ex-girlfriend's birthday and he was thinking about her and it made him so sad.... I feel like Im just here temporarily filling the void she has left in his life... Should he have jumped into a relationship with me? Telling me he loves me? When he obviously isn't over her... I just don't know what to do, I don't want to end up hurt, should I leave him? Or should I stick it out and pick up the pieces of what could eventually be a good man....

 

 

Please give me your thoughts.

[Lana0120]

How long ago was it that he broke up with this girl? Apart from this, has he shown any other signs of sadness regarding her? I would discuss this with him. Gauge whether he feels that he is over her or not. It sounds to me though, like he isn't, and that it might be a good idea for you to have a break.

[Sweetheartleftbehind]

Well this is the first time i have seen him sad like this, they have been broken up a little over a year... But the way they broke up was terrible, she just up and left and moved to LA without even telling him, when they had been together for 2 years....

 

I want to be there for him, but his hurt is causing me hurt. It's basically a double edged sword. I don't know if i have to strength to handle this.

[Sweetheartleftbehind]

I guess no one else has advice for me?! HELP.

[missmebaby]

8 months ago i was in the same predicament you are. i met a guy who seemed to be too good to be true, he was so attractive and treated me so well and he totally seemed to fall in love with me within a month. i fell hard for him and everything was great for awhile. then he started talking about the ex that he had been with for 2 years but she broke up with him and it was all his fault. they were broken up for 1 1/2 years but he still seemed to hold her up on this pedestal and he talked about her like she was perfect. i asked him if he was over her and he said yes and that he loved me now.

 

but everything started to change and he treated me horribly and i was always being compared to her. now that he has left me he has started talking to her again but tells me they are not getting back together. now that i think about it i realize i was probably just a rebound. he used to talk to me about getting married and how i would make a great wife and mother and he loved me soooo much. but he was only saying those things a month ago and now he never wants to speak to me again and i did nothing wrong. obviously he never meant anything he said. i wish now i would have ended things in the beginning because obviously he was never over his ex and i could never compare to her.

 

if i were you i would either take things veryyy slow or end the relationship and tell him to contact you again when he is sure he is over his ex because it is not fair to you. you are only going to get hurt in the end because a guy will lie to you and try to make himself fall in love with you to distract him from his ex but shes always going to be on his mind.

[Sweetheartleftbehind]

I seriously feel like this may be the case because I feel like I will never be able to replace the image that he has of her.... no matter how much he says he loves me.