Trust Issues!!!!!!!!

[Danielle84]

Just for the record I love all of the feed back I've gotten from this site!! So my issue today is that I don't trust my future husband. I mean I know that he loves me but when something fishy happens I really just don't trust him. I know that he doesn't trust me because of his past relationship. We really just don't have any trust. Is this something that can be worked out or are we doomed??

 

Thanks in advance!!

[Blue Skittles]

I think it can be fixed but I seriously suggest you guys go to couples counselling to resolve this issue, as this is a really big issue and in my opinion trust is a necessary component in a relationship.

[RayKay]

Just for the record I love all of the feed back I've gotten from this site!! So my issue today is that I don't trust my future husband. I mean I know that he loves me but when something fishy happens I really just don't trust him. I know that he doesn't trust me because of his past relationship. We really just don't have any trust. Is this something that can be worked out or are we doomed??

 

Thanks in advance!!

 

Some more detail as to what has caused these trust issues would be important I think.

 

I have to say, you CAN work on the trust, but I would be hesitant to get married before you have found that trust.

 

Trust is about more than remaining physically faithful to one another, and I will say that when you don't have trust...you really have nothing. Meaning without trust, you really are together, and acting, more out of fear of loss, and insecurity, than out of that bond of love, trust and respect that is so integral.

 

Honestly, trust is so vital to a healthy, happy relationship. There is a world of difference between one filled with insecurity and fear, and one built on levels of trust. It is that essential foundation from which love, respect, friendship, passion, commitment all grow.

 

Without that strong foundation, the relationship, like a house built on nothing but mud, will eventually just crumble.

 

I would be looking at counselling before you walk down that aisle.

[LostInMyThoughts]

You are doomed if you don't try to work things out.

 

Good news, you can regain trust, but it will take both of you working towards reestablishing that trust for it to work.

 

With regards to his mistrust of you; it's fair to understand that prior relationships will shape our feelings about current and future ones. However he shouldn't hold you accountable for something that you haven't done. I think you should be mindful of his trust issues, and help him ease into trusting you. On the otherhand, his trust issues shouldn't be used to control you. You are an adult and able to make your own decisions. Your rights should be respected.

 

Why don't you trust your husband to be?

[radioheader]

rebuilding trust takes lots of time (believe me...i know...issues right now with my husband of 15 years!) ...so get into counseling and don't rush that marriage...i agree that more info on why lack of trust would be helpful to us if you want solid advice.