Dionashi Posted October 9, 2003 Share Posted October 9, 2003 My friend told me that he is gay and he's in love with me, but I don't think I'm gay or bi. What should I do? Link to comment
enadevoli Posted October 9, 2003 Share Posted October 9, 2003 well, it probably feels a little awkward to be around him, but you can still be his friend. he should understand that you are not bi or gay & if you haven't told him, then make sure you do. he had a lot of courage to tell you this, so make sure not to make him feel bad. i know that telling him that you are not gay or bi will hurt him, it would hurt anyone to find out that someone they loved didn't feel the same, but thats somthing that he needs to know. just make sure you don't judge him because of this. Link to comment
reinvented21 Posted October 9, 2003 Share Posted October 9, 2003 You dont think you are gay or bi? You sound a little hesitant. Maybe you need time to sort youre own feelings out. First figure out if you are gay, bi, or straight. That is very important. Next go from there. IF you are straight, which i'm not sure of, then you need to let him no. IF you are gay or bi, decide if you want to take the relationship up a notch. Best of luck Link to comment
Dionashi Posted October 9, 2003 Author Share Posted October 9, 2003 I never knew that he was gay. But this year in school, he started to act differently towards me. He is very quiet and shy when he sees me. Well, he also told 2 of his other friends and the one that's a boy think he's sick but the other one (girl) is still friends with him. I know how he feels right now and what he is going through. I wouldn't judge him because of this. But I think that he thinks I'm gay or bi because I hang out with mostly girls. Link to comment
clearwater Posted November 2, 2003 Share Posted November 2, 2003 You need to do two things: 1. Let your friend know that you still like him as a friend and that you don't think he's "sick." This was his biggest fear when he decided to tell his friends that he's gay, and this fear has been realized with regard to his other guy friend. How incredibly painful for him. You are in a position now to support him as a friend while he works through his feelings, and that's something that will stick with him for the rest of his life. 2. Be absolutely clear that you are not bi or gay. Don't mess with his head, or play at being flirtatious with him (this may sound weird to you, but some straight guys do this). Someone else commented that you may not be sure about your own sexuality, but I guarantee you that this isn't the time or place to explore it. As far as your friend is concerned, you are straight--period. You can help him far more as a straight, platonic friend than you ever could as someone he's hoping unrealistically to have a relationship with. Even worse for him would be if you did end up having a sexual encounter, and you wound up trying to work through the guilt/pain/embarrassment/frustration/shame/confusion/etc that you would feel afterwards. That would be a tough thing for you right now, and it could lead to absolutely devastating consequences for your friend. Trust me on this. Link to comment
Dionashi Posted September 29, 2011 Author Share Posted September 29, 2011 hmmm alright thanks Link to comment
FathomFear Posted September 29, 2011 Share Posted September 29, 2011 Needed eight years to take in the advice? lol Link to comment
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