Should I ask my physiotherapist out?

[yttocs]

Hey all.

I have been married for the past 8 years (I'm 34) and have not been single since 1994. Before I was married I also had 2 long term girlfriends. I am in the process of seperating from my wife. We are still friends but decided that we are better off without each other.

 

Anyways to get to the point I have been seeing a female physiotherapist for the past couple of years. I have had a big crush on her since virtually the first time I saw her. A BIG CRUSH. She's about 5 years younger than me. She's so beautiful, kind and sexy as hell and I love speaking with her. I can't get enough of her and I exagerate my sports injuries just so I can see her more regularly than I really need to. I think about her all the time.

 

Here are the problems though:

1) She's really friendly with me and we kid around a lot and have deep conversations but it is SO awkward to ask her out while in treatment as I see it as a little strange. After all if I was attracted to a female doctor, what the chance I'd have the courage to ask her out while I was talking about medical problems..

2) I am not sure if she is single. We always talk about me and rarely her.

3) How can I know if she likes me?? I have no clue about body language, I've been married so long I forgot everything that is not to do with my wife.

4) If she is in a relationship how do I find out if it is serious?

 

Oh the mental torture!! But I have to do something, I can't stand the uncertainty!! I want to know if there is anything there. If not, I'll move on.

 

Is it OK to write her a letter or attach a note with flowers asking her out? Or is that the cowardly way?

 

And of course if I get rejected it will be too uncomfortable for me to see her for treatment again and if that was the case it would really SUCK BAD!!

 

HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ](*,)

[Shin kensen]

i fail.....

 

go for it

[Paradigm1607307567]

Just ask her during your next therapy. You said you have deep conversation. Bring up the topic of relationships and do a little espionage. She's accomplished, makes a lot of money, and is hot with a private office? You should get therapy from a psychiatrist too if you don't ask her!

[Dako]

If she has any professional ethics, she'll decline your advances until you're not a client.

[ghost69]

here is what you do. no flowers, no letter. lame. sorry, but it's cheesy. do this to get your answer before you even attempt. say something referencing her 'bf'. "oh, so does your bf think that is cool?" it will depend on what you are talking about with her at that particular time. she is rubbing your leg or something. "so does your bf get the same treatment i'm getting? or you think he'd be jealous." then laugh as she blushes. "silly, i don't have a bf." bingo. you get what you wanted. "oh, you don't. why not?" conversation starts. unless she says "yeah, he is a bum." or whatever. i use this strategy all the time when i meet girls.

 

i just end up talking to girls cause i'm open, and i will slide in a "so you here with your bf?" then i already know. don't have to waste my time asking for a number if she has one. pretty stupid, but simple and to the information you need.

[yttocs]

I'm worried though that if I get shot down that it would be too awkward to see her again at work. That's a risk I take.

[Batya33]

I would tell her you need to stop seeing her professionally because you have feelings for her. My guess is that part of the crush is because she is emotionally unavailable right now - she is trying to keep up at least some professional distance.

[Lily04]

Wow, interesting topic! Because I find I'm in a similar situation as yourself except I don't want to date my physiotherapist LOL. But I just met him for the first time yesterday and I noticed there was a connection between us, and I think he is attracted to me... he said in order for me to continue going (I was hesitant because I'm not sure I can afford it), he'll drop his rates as well to whatever I can afford. So that's nice... thing is that he's in his early 30s I'd guess (i'm 22) and I feel a bit uncomfortable with having his massage me and do chiropractic stuff to some extent... just because of the sexual tension I guess. I do have a boyfriend, although we just started dating about 3-4 weeks ago and it's not super serious... but I'm just hoping we can maintain the professionalism and it won't be too awkward. If I DID want to ask him out though, i'd do what Ghost suggested, I think that's a good way to go about it.

[yttocs]

Is it OK to ask her out to a casual date without first asking if she is single or not?

 

Its funny but I still don't know if she does or not. She has never said a word about a boyfriend but you never know.

 

It seems strange to say "so do you have a boyfriend" and if she then says no to go on to say "so do you want to go out with me?"

 

HELP!!!!!

[summerpeach]

You're attracted to someone who cares for you. It's not rocket science. Youre alone and you need to fill the void.

Bad decision to ask her out. Be alone for a while and see if it's really her you like or is it b/c she is a caretaker.

I say this b/c you say you've been very attracted to her all this time, yet know NOTHING about her. How much do u like someone if you never even bothered to ask any questions about her.

When you like someone, even on a professional level, you get to know them by asking questions.

I think you're just lonely.

[Miss M]

She will not date you if she has any ethics, or if she values her career.

 

Or what about asking her about the appropriateness of therapists dating their clients? If she says it's absolutely out of the question you could just drop the discussion, or pretend you were thinking of another therapist, or that you and a friend were discussing it as a general idea and you wanted her input. If she says it's okay, then you probably know what to do from there?

[yttocs]

I would have asked her questions all along but she always seems to steer the questions to me and I guess as a patient it feels more proper if the patient does the talking not the other person. I have to start finding out more about her "world" most important of which is her "status"

[ghost69]

"i want to take you out and talk about you. whaddya say?" let us know the response.

[sddeaston]

"i want to take you out and talk about you. whaddya say?" let us know the response.

 

For sure. This is what I would do. However I would probably have already used ghost's first suggestion so I would know if there will be an issue in the boyfriend department before asking this question.

 

Your choice though. Either way, the question is not posed in a desperate manner, which is really what you are trying to convey.

[ghost69]

also, look at it this way. if she shuts you down, you can still talk about it with her. 'i would like to talk about why my psychotherapist shot me down.' lol

[Dako]

physiotherapist.