Mood swings galore, but I'm feeling better now. Just want to thank everyone here :)

[Lily04]

Especially JadedStar and the more regular posters among my threads... unfortunately I am horrible with names and can't remember them now lol. But I really do appreciate it. For some reason I am feeling so much better now.... I had a chance to refresh... I talked with my sister and mom; my mom actually got philosophical with me after seeing an episode on Oprah about the meaning of happiness LOL, although she raised some good points as well. But most of all, I just learned I really need to be secure in myself, step back from situations and learn to be *casual* about things... unless someone deliberately hurts me or someone I love, it's not worth getting so upset about. I'm honestly not sure what set me off like that, considering I wasn't even *that* crazy about this guy initially... I think I just liked the idea of a bf and the fact that I connected so well with him and the pattern of contact was broken and I freaked out as a result... thinking something was wrong and my fault. Something to talk with my psychiatrist about: I can be *extremely* self-critical and over-analytical, and it ends up displacing me in this unhealthy cycle... of thoughts. I blame myself for things a lot, when they are not even necessarily my fault. And extrapolate things...

 

I think with greater self-confidence I will be able to handle little set-backs with more stride, and just move forward... and not care. Being the very conscientous and perfectionistic person I am though, it's hard for me... that's the reason why my psych. gave me medication as well.

 

In any case... for some reason I've just stopped thinking of him. I don't know how... but I did. I'm not even sure THAT is entirely healthy because I just forced my mind to sort of stop caring in general.... but whatever. It's a better alternative than before

 

I also found this quote which may help others.. I like it.... from Sex and the City:

 

"Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous."

 

I really agree... one does not need someone else as a significant other, to be happy or find happiness... if he/she comes along, that's great, but happiness resides within oneself. Ironically enough, the professor on Oprah who lectured about happiness (and claimed she herself had found long-term happiness at 42 years old) was single... and had never been married. Although I believe love is necessary to be happy, as long as you are happy with what you are doing and yourself, it's not necessary to get all caught up in romantic relationships to find it either... so I think that is the philosophy I will live with now. Thanks guys.

 

Lily

[Lana0120]

I am glad you're feeling better Lily. *hugs*

[lelou]

Glad you're feeling better. I think we all tend to get lost in relationships and relationship troubles sometimes. And it is good to step back and release all that anxiousness and think about yourself.

 

In my case too, I try to remember that in the end, a partner is awesome, but you can't let them make you crazy or anxious.

 

So, glad to hear you are doing good

[sandyv]

Lily so glad your feeling better!

 

 

 

Sandy

[Lily04]

thanks Just a stupid question... he hasn't called yet. He said he would call once he got back from x city to figure out what we want to do today... it's a tad late now. Either way, I'm moving on but just as a stub at him I wanted to get one of my friends to post this really hot msg. on facebook... he's basically attracted to me and wrote me this note about how I deserve better privately... I was thinking of asking him to post it on my wall because it's so eloquently written and would probably make him think "wow, what an idiot for moving on from her..." Do u think I should do that or is it too soon?

 

Also...I'm starting to actually think he's just doing this because I wouldn't have sex with him on Friday... he said he would wait as long as I want/until I feel comfortable, but I sort of doubt a lot of guys would do that... esp. when they're dating a girl they find very attractive. We basically got right up to the point but then I said "no". So maybe he's starting to play games, of creating distance and tension so that when I see him again I would ostensibly miss him so much I'll want to have sex with him... I know that sounds bad, but putting myself in the shoes of a member of the male species right now, if I were a guy and wanted sex with a hot girl pretty fast, that is probably what I would do as well....so maybe he's just playing mind games?? It just seems so odd to me that he's pulled back like this, that that's what I've concluded...

[bubblyblonde11]

Keep your chin up hunny, men are difficult to understand for us, and I they struggle the same.

 

Go out find yourself some other guys to date, perhaps he'll call or perhaps in a few weeks you'll have forgetten all about him.

 

Take care hunny bunny

 

((((hugs))))