bubblyblonde11 Posted August 24, 2007 Share Posted August 24, 2007 Good article however written by a man so????? lol Looks like I need to change my age on my profile to 29 and lie some Basically we all doomed then! Tee hee hee Link to comment
violingirl Posted August 24, 2007 Author Share Posted August 24, 2007 I guess it goes both ways - with both some men and some women acting this way. Personally, I am NOT looking for a Brad Pitt type or a model type - I avoid those types because I am not attracted to that and because they wouldn't be attracted to me anyway. All of the men that I've met via the online dating sites have been average-looking guys, but they still pull the disappearing act when things go really well and have the candy store mentality. I am also very kind, have a great career, stand on my own two feet. I'm normal. To me, it seems like most men on these sites are looking for the perfect "fantasy" woman, and they never seem to find her. I just wish that a normal, average guy would give me, a normal, average woman, a real chance. Link to comment
violingirl Posted August 24, 2007 Author Share Posted August 24, 2007 I didn't see anything particularly offensive or discouraging in the article, thought it was a pep talk actually. What the guy didn't come out and say, and what niceguy alludes to, is that just like in a bar, there are lots of players, liars and crazies online, male and female, with their own self-serving agendas. Women respond to the model looking guys who supposedly make 150k+ per year only to get played and used, then bemoan that there are no "decent" guys online, then log on and delete 20 sincere emails from truly decent guys who aren't Brad Pitt... All the guy who wrote the article is saying is to be realistic and persistent, good advice IMO. I suppose that I interpreted the article differently than you did. I found it all very discouraging and it just underscored my own thoughts about what I've experienced meeting men through online dating sites. I never respond to the "model looking guys who supposedly make 150K+ per year" or the Brad Pitt types. I've never found model-looking guys attractive and I make a good living on my own, so I'm not looking for a man to support me in that way. The men I've responded to and met in person have been average-looking, which is fine with me - some have made more money than me, some the same, some less. What matters to me is how well we gel. Link to comment
servedcold Posted August 24, 2007 Share Posted August 24, 2007 Sorry to generalize like that; not all women on the sites are gullible and superficial, nor are all men. Online really is a numbers game. Have met many cool women online, 1/3 have nixed me after meeting, 1/3 I have nixed, and 1/3 I have dated for some time. My last two relationships formed online were with women who looked perfect on paper, but had little integrity. I do believe in online dating though for older professionals, and will get back to it in a couple months. Link to comment
violingirl Posted August 24, 2007 Author Share Posted August 24, 2007 Sorry to generalize like that; not all women on the sites are gullible and superficial, nor are all men. Online really is a numbers game. Have met many cool women online, 1/3 have nixed me after meeting, 1/3 I have nixed, and 1/3 I have dated for some time. My last two relationships formed online were with women who looked perfect on paper, but had little integrity. I do believe in online dating though for older professionals, and will get back to it in a couple months. Don't worry about it. I'm not offended or anything. I, too, have met some nice guys (or at least I thought they were nice) off the online dating sites, but my frustrations lie with the fact that even if we get along great and have good chemistry and they say that they want to see me again, then they just disappear. I wanted to get to know some of those guys better. I really can't tell if I want to be in a relationship with someone after only one date. I just wish that men would give me a real chance. Link to comment
NiceGuy76 Posted August 24, 2007 Share Posted August 24, 2007 I would agree with being realistic and persistent...most of the people I finally got their attention by following up and being persistent. It just seems like there are a LOT of "flakey" people on those dating sites. If I had to estimate, I would say 50-75% of the women and men on dating sites have NO idea what they are looking for, but they "think" they do! lol Link to comment
NiceGuy76 Posted August 24, 2007 Share Posted August 24, 2007 I also want to add, most women I met did not even look like their photos in person. When it comes to photos I never take well in them...I think I am way better in person, because of my natural charm, facial expressions, smile. Most women said I looked different too... So I have learned do not get too caught up in the photos, because that is not real life. The only thing they are good for is to just get an "idea" of the features of a person, and be prepared to see something "different" once you do meet them. I was completely honest in my profile when I did the online dating, used up to date pictures. Maybe that was my problem...should I have went and got professional pictures done? Complete with airbrushing? LMAO! Link to comment
violingirl Posted August 24, 2007 Author Share Posted August 24, 2007 I also want to add, most women I met did not even look like their photos in person. When it comes to photos I never take well in them...I think I am way better in person, because of my natural charm, facial expressions, smile. Most women said I looked different too... So I have learned do not get too caught up in the photos, because that is not real life. The only thing they are good for is to just get an "idea" of the features of a person, and be prepared to see something "different" once you do meet them. I was completely honest in my profile when I did the online dating, used up to date pictures. Maybe that was my problem...should I have went and got professional pictures done? Complete with airbrushing? LMAO! Yes, I know what you are talking about. I see a lot of guys with professional/airbrushed pictures on those sites - like actors have. A lot of them are even in black and white, rather than color. However, my impression of those guys is that they are players trying to snag as many women as possible just off of their pictures (I could be wrong, who knows?). Those guys also tend to post a lot of pictures -sometimes up to 20, which I find to be overkill and a bit desperate. What also bothers me about some peoples' profiles is that they tend to describe their lives as though they have all the free time in the world. They are always (esp. in pictures) skiing, mountain biking, hiking, climbing Mt. Everest, traveling the world, etc., all of the time. I think that maybe they are trying too hard to stand out and sound adverturous, making their lives sound like they are the next James Bond or something. Of course, how often can someone with a full-time job actually do any of those things? Link to comment
NiceGuy76 Posted August 24, 2007 Share Posted August 24, 2007 I know what you mean... On another note, I will send women I think would be a GREAT fit for me, and they will send me a message saying they just met someone and want to see how it develops. BUT, I see them online everynight on the dating site. haha! Why don't they just say - "Hi, you are not want I am looking for, I want something that does not exist, please stop sending me messages because I am talking to 100 other guys that will just use me/play me" LOL I was not one to waste much time, I just wanted to exchange a few messages, then meet up during the week for coffee or whatnot. I mean who wants to go online everynight and try to chase down people that do not respond or have no real intention of ever meeting up? Anyways....my rant is done. I am SO over online dating...from now on I am approaching women in public. I am just shy at times, and I need to build up my confidence anyways. =) Link to comment
hosswhispra Posted August 24, 2007 Share Posted August 24, 2007 Oh well (almost moved to NY for a second there) Ha, Clem! I am a redhead-no, wait--I am more of a strawberry blonde and to this day your lily story about the girl in the lobby still makes my heart swoon Link to comment
hosswhispra Posted August 24, 2007 Share Posted August 24, 2007 I am SO over online dating...from now on I am approaching women in public. I am just shy at times, and I need to build up my confidence anyways. =) Good for you! I like meeting in public too....that's where I have always felt real-life chemistry. Link to comment
violingirl Posted August 25, 2007 Author Share Posted August 25, 2007 Oaken007, Most of those dates were just drink dates, which didn't cost those guys much money at all. Also, some of the guys who did invite me to dinner made me pay 50% when the bill came. A few were gentlemen and did pay for dinner even if I offered to split the bill. It varies from man to man. Link to comment
cpc28655 Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 I think online daing is a bad idea in general, but that is only my opinion. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted August 31, 2007 Share Posted August 31, 2007 i love this post. 'online' dating mistakes read 'online'. Link to comment
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