Yahoo article re 10 online dating "mistakes" that women make

[violingirl]

Here is the article from link removed:

 

link removed

 

The author (a man) pretty much blames women for a man's bad behavior on a date - what a great guy.

 

My "favorites" include "mistake" #6:

"Have you ever gone on an amazing date and saw that he was online right afterwards? Have you ever emailed a man who seemed interested then suddenly disappeared? Have you ever gotten intimate with a man who never called again?

You're not alone. All of these things are common in the world of online dating. So instead of taking it as a personal rejection each time a man comes and goes, take a step back. Think of all the guys who have written to you that you weren't interested in. Imagine all of them taking it personally. It's ridiculous."

 

Yes - but not responding to someone's initial e-mail is one thing; disappearing after being intimate is completely different.

 

And "mistake" #4:

"You're sweet. You're fun. You're attractive. You have no trouble meeting men in real life. You figure that with all your good qualities, online dating should be a piece of cake. Except that's not how it's worked out. The only guys contacting you look like they've been let out of jail or a retirement home. There have to be better men out there. Then how come they aren't writing?

Simple. Any man who you think is a great catch has hundreds of options. And when a guy has that many choices, he's often going to search for younger women. Why? Because he can. So forget these guys and their unrealistic Playboy fantasies. Mr. Right is the man who wants YOU. Focus your attentions on the men who are searching for you, instead of the ones who aren't, and you'll have far greater success."

 

Great. That's really encouraging. This only supports my view that a lot of men tend to act like kids in a candy store once they sign up for online dating sites. What if there are no men "searching for you"?

 

And jackpot - "mistake" #10:

 

"Your mistake is thinking that what a man says on a date actually means something. It doesn't. It means he's being in the moment. So don't put too much weight on a great date. The only way you can tell how a man REALLY feels about you is by how quickly he follows up for another date."

 

Lovely. So, basically he says that all men are liars and not to believe a word they say - and it's our mistake if we do believe them. It really makes me want to do more online dating. NOT.

[Shin kensen]

I read your post, clicked the link then stopped reading when I saw his annoying F-tard photoshop face. But yeah, sounds like a fairly rediculous generalisation...

[violingirl]

Yes, he looks like he has "demon eyes" in his photo - no one's eyes are THAT bright and blue. Plus, his hair is practically cemented in place.

[Clementine orange]

ouch tough article - I almost feel sorry for women sometimes. Are we really that bad???

[Clementine orange]

Yes, he looks like he has "demon eyes" in his photo - no one's eyes are THAT bright and blue. Plus, his hair is practically cemented in place.

 

Well, there is no way that guy is on-line dating

[violingirl]

Yes, he probably thinks that the women on online dating sites are not good enough for him, judging by his attitude in the article.

 

Maybe I should buy his book and read his blog every day. Perhaps that will help me avoid those types of "mistakes" (just kidding).

[Clementine orange]

Yes, he probably thinks that the women on online dating sites are not good enough for him, judging by his attitude in the article.

 

Maybe I should buy his book and read his blog every day. Perhaps that will help me avoid those types of "mistakes" (just kidding).

 

lol, I used to be in journalism. You don't make news by telling people what they already know - you get yourself in print by saying stuff that people don't consider. It's the whole "dog bites man" is not news but "man bites dog" is.

[violingirl]

I suppose that in this case it's really "man bites women."

[Jen5283]

I didn't really think the author was trying to blame women for what some men do, but was instead helping women to not have too high of expectations for dating online.

 

I just skimmed over it all of it, so that was the gist that I got.

[Clementine orange]

I suppose that in this case it's really "man bites women."

 

Hey you're funny AND you play the violin, please tell you're not a red head

[violingirl]

I suppose the gist I got from the article is that women have to just "expect" bad behavior from the men that they meet from online dating sites. Like: "Expect the worst from these men, and if you don't, then don't say I didn't warn you. Men will be men, and that's the way they are. There's no way they will ever change."

 

I don't know about the rest of you guys, but I remember a more "innocent" and unjaded age where if you went on a date with a guy and you both had a great time and a lot of chemistry, then you almost always got a second date, because both parties wanted to get to know each other better and not waste that kind of rare opportunity. It seems like a lot of people don't value relationships (or developing real relationships) or special connections with other people anymore. Everything has gotten so detached and impersonal and I don't like it. It's as though a lot of people have a short attention span and are always looking the next, bright and shiny new thing.

[Shin kensen]

Yes, he looks like he has "demon eyes" in his photo - no one's eyes are THAT bright and blue. Plus, his hair is practically cemented in place.

 

And I'm sure I drew a parabola graph similar to his smile in a math class once...

[violingirl]

Hey you're funny AND you play the violin, please tell you're not a red head

 

No, I'm no Lucille Ball (she was very funny). I'm a brunette.

[Clementine orange]

No, I'm no Lucille Ball (she was very funny). I'm a brunette.

 

Oh well (almost moved to NY for a second there)

[tmp0620]

I think I'll try taking a stab at a list....

 

Mistake #1

 

Dating online.

[Jen5283]

It seems like a lot of people don't value relationships (or developing real relationships) or special connections with other people anymore. Everything has gotten so detached and impersonal and I don't like it. It's as though a lot of people have a short attention span and are always looking the next, bright and shiny new thing.

 

Oh yeah, I totally agree with you.

 

Technology has really changed the way that people communicate with each other.

 

It's much easier with online dating to find people to meet up with than in real life I'm sure. (Just guessing. Never tried it.)

 

People would be so easy to replace in the online dating world.

 

It's like shopping for the best toy.

 

Hmmm...

 

This one's young and blonde...

 

This one has big boobs and money...

 

I think you get the idea.

[Clementine orange]

Iron lion, I see your stab and raise you one

 

mistake #1 dating

[violingirl]

ouch tough article - I almost feel sorry for women sometimes. Are we really that bad???

 

I seriously hope not. I'm sure that there are some good guys out there - where are they??? Unfortunately, I've had nothing but disappointments with the men I've met via online dating sites - I've had dates with over 30 men in the past couple of years, none of which resulted in a relationship, so I've pretty much had it with online dating at this point.

[violingirl]

I think I'll try taking a stab at a list....

 

Mistake #1

 

Dating online.

 

I couldn't agree more.

[Clementine orange]

I seriously hope not. I'm sure that there are some good guys out there - where are they??? Unfortunately, I've had nothing but disappointments with the men I've met via online dating sites - I've had dates with over 30 men in the past couple of years, none of which resulted in a relationship, so I've pretty much had it with online dating at this point.

 

One has to have faith that there are good guys out there. But yeah, I know it can be really discouraging sometimes. I went through an on-line dating phase and nothing really worked out. In fact I had a heck of a time even getting someone to return my emails at all.

 

I think for every woman out there saying "where are all the good guys" there is a guy out there saying "where are all the good women"?

 

They should have an on-line thing for normal people only. Some kind of screening thing. I dunno.

 

Hey do you ever see Woody Allan hanging around in NY? Or Bob Dylan?

[violingirl]

One has to have faith that there are good guys out there. But yeah, I know it can be really discouraging sometimes. I went through an on-line dating phase and nothing really worked out. In fact I had a heck of a time even getting someone to return my emails at all.

 

I think for every woman out there saying "where are all the good guys" there is a guy out there saying "where are all the good women"?

 

They should have an on-line thing for normal people only. Some kind of screening thing. I dunno.

 

Hey do you ever see Woody Allan hanging around in NY? Or Bob Dylan?

 

 

Define "normal."

 

Nope, haven't seen Woody Allan (he's probably always with Soon-Yi) or Bob Dylan. I've seen Bebe Neuworth and Anthony Bourdain.

[NiceGuy76]

Online dating sucks! So many women that I would have liked to pursue (back before I become numb about even wanting a woman in my life) seem to be looking for an online guy that does not exist. Let me explain....it seems like women that do online dating want a "brad Pitt" type and are not willing to give someone like me "normal/decent" looking a chance because they do have a lot of options and pictures to pursue of so called "hotties" that will just waste their time anyways.

 

I have a great career, I am a sweetheart, I am cute but not a hottie, loyal, raised well, well mannered, funny, etc. It just seems like women make horrible choices on who they do pick to go out with/meet in online dating. First rule...do not get caught up in the pictures and what people write about themselves...leave that to meeting them in person...or atleast thru exchanging dialogue, maybe even talking on the phone for 20 minutes or so.

 

I could go on and on, but I think my point has been made enough for you people to get where I am coming from.

 

Anyways...because of this I am done dating online.

[servedcold]

I didn't see anything particularly offensive or discouraging in the article, thought it was a pep talk actually. What the guy didn't come out and say, and what niceguy alludes to, is that just like in a bar, there are lots of players, liars and crazies online, male and female, with their own self-serving agendas. Women respond to the model looking guys who supposedly make 150k+ per year only to get played and used, then bemoan that there are no "decent" guys online, then log on and delete 20 sincere emails from truly decent guys who aren't Brad Pitt...

 

All the guy who wrote the article is saying is to be realistic and persistent, good advice IMO.

[JadedStar]

I didn't really think the author was trying to blame women for what some men do, but was instead helping women to not have too high of expectations for dating online.

 

I just skimmed over it all of it, so that was the gist that I got.

 

I agree with you. As much as women hate hearing that, a lot of men think this way. This is the number one reason I was learly of online dating the short stint that I did it. I DO think some men get the kid in the candystore mentality and for some reason i didn't trust anyone i went out with from those sites because I think no matter how well a date went, they would keep reaching out to others. Most women stop looking all together if a date goes stellar. Most men don't. They keep playing the field. One of the main reasons I am semi anti online dating...if i were single.

 

I think his advice about pursuing those people who are pursuing you was a great piece of advice. Men and women would do well with that. Too many people get caught up with wanting to chase this handsome or hot dream that isn't chasing them back. Chase the ones who like you and want to be chased. That is all he is sayin.

[BManMcFly]

 

And jackpot - "mistake" #10:

 

"Your mistake is thinking that what a man says on a date actually means something. It doesn't. It means he's being in the moment. So don't put too much weight on a great date. The only way you can tell how a man REALLY feels about you is by how quickly he follows up for another date."

 

Lovely. So, basically he says that all men are liars and not to believe a word they say - and it's our mistake if we do believe them. It really makes me want to do more online dating. NOT.

 

You read that statement wrong... he's not saying that men are liars or misleading, just to not add meaing to what wasn't there... really tho, this one goes both ways.