Don't know what to tell him!

[Slick]

My Boyfriend and I have been going out for alittle over a year now, he moved in with me and lived with me for 6 months only because his parents relationship was complicated, but about 2 months ago he went back home because him mother isn't doing very well, which I totally understand having to be with her.

 

I didn't go because I was accepted to College and all ready to start this coming september, then my loan didn't go through so I decided that I have to take a year off, work and save that money inorder to go next year! Now he's go it in his head that I can move there, its not that I don't want to be with him, financial I don't think its the right option for me. Spend money on a apartment, food, other bills, I just don't think i'd be saving anything!

 

My dad offered to take me out to western Alberta where he works, so I could start a trade, so i'm thinking "wow... great have something I can fall back on, plus there is great money in trades now".

 

So now I have no idea what to say to my boyfriend, I feel as if he won't support me no matter what I choose unless it means i'm there living with him........... "i'm driving with my brakes on"

 

I'm so stuck, its not like i'm the type of person to run off on him, I don't believe in that kinda stuff. And if something happened i'd be there in a heartbeat and he knows it!

 

I told him I want to do alot of growing up, I need to be on my own,have alittle me time, not have to depend on my parents, they've feed, clothed me, put me through school, all that stuff for too too long, I wanna start paying for my braces, buy myself a car, not have to depend on my mom to get me to work, she has a life too.

 

I don't believe that he should stand in my way, I have hopes & dreams too, Sometimes in our life you gotta wonder if the long road that we're on is headin' in the same direction.

 

Someone help me, I just don't know what to do anymore???

 

 

Slick

[Lana0120]

Sit down and talk this stuff through properly with him - assuring him of your feelings.

[Slick]

Sit down and talk this stuff through properly with him - assuring him of your feelings.

 

 

O i've tryed too, he just keep's saying " i don't understand" what is holding you back, don't you wanna be with me!

[Lana0120]

Well, I suppose from his viewpoint, why can't you do the independence thing a little closer to him?

[flower99]

Tell him you're 18 you have things you want to do in your life right now before settling down in one spot. And you feel this is an oppurnity that you can't miss....you love him & want to stay with him...but you need to do this for yourself. And if he loves you & wants your happiness than he should understand.

[Slick]

Tell him you're 18 you have things you want to do in your life right now before settling down in one spot. And you feel this is an oppurnity that you can't miss....you love him & want to stay with him...but you need to do this for yourself. And if he loves you & wants your happiness than he should understand.

 

 

I must say thats pretty good!

[flower99]

I must say thats pretty good!

 

Glad you think so..

It's true though. if he can't support you & your decisions...than he's not right for you.

A man that truly loves you should want your happiness. If you aren't ready to be tied down & you feel there are other things you need to do in your life. Than do it! you may not always have that oppurtunity.

If he's the right man for you, you two will be able to stay together through this & he will understand and support you and best of all encourage you to follow your dreams.

 

I really hope this works out for you...best of luck Slick.

remember your man should be a blessing not a burden. (meaning he shouldn't be standing in the way of your dream & he should be helping you achieve them)

[Lana0120]

Glad you think so..

It's true though. if he can't support you & your decisions...than he's not right for you.

A man that truly loves you should want your happiness. If you aren't ready to be tied down & you feel there are other things you need to do in your life. Than do it! you may not always have that oppurtunity.

If he's the right man for you, you two will be able to stay together through this & he will understand and support you and best of all encourage you to follow your dreams.

 

I really hope this works out for you...best of luck Slick.

remember your man should be a blessing not a burden. (meaning he shouldn't be standing in the way of your dream & he should be helping you achieve them)

Totally agree.

[Slick]

Glad you think so..

It's true though. if he can't support you & your decisions...than he's not right for you.

A man that truly loves you should want your happiness. If you aren't ready to be tied down & you feel there are other things you need to do in your life. Than do it! you may not always have that oppurtunity.

If he's the right man for you, you two will be able to stay together through this & he will understand and support you and best of all encourage you to follow your dreams.

 

I really hope this works out for you...best of luck Slick.

remember your man should be a blessing not a burden. (meaning he shouldn't be standing in the way of your dream & he should be helping you achieve them)

 

 

 

Thats wicked, thanks so much!

[Slick]

He stood in the way, can't handle it!

 

Guess its over

[flower99]

He stood in the way, can't handle it!

 

Guess its over

 

*hugs*...I'm sorry he stood in the way......how are you feeling?

[flower99]

I heard something intresting & I felt it true in my 2 most serious relationships, it may apply to you...it may not.

 

If you love someone set them free, if they return to you they're yours

OR you can

Cripple them so they can never fly away.

 

My finacee set's me free to do whatever I want (of course I'd never abuse it or hurt him) he encourages me in anything I choose & do. I always will return to him, cause of my love & respect for him.

 

 

My ex, gave me little freedom, rarely supported me...I seriously felt like I couldn't go & do what I wanted and loved. I felt crippled. But I think it was his way to feel safe & be sure i'll always be by his side. but I wasn't happy.

[Slick]

*hugs*...I'm sorry he stood in the way......how are you feeling?

 

I feel like * * * *, he thinks i'm choosing money over him,(*,) but part of me believes that if i stay here or move over there with him, I won't want to go back to school (I won't be able to afford it) I don't quilfy for a student loan, but i'm not letting my parents pay for it, by this time next year there will be three of us going to college,and my little sister has had her mind set on something since she was 15 so I don't want to displace her goals. plus thats alot of money, to ask them to fork out, when I know if I go, then I can do this on my own. Its time to grow up face the real world. If I have to struggle then i'm gonna have to suck it up and keep going. You try to make everyone heppy but in the end someone get's hurt ](*,)

[Slick]

 

My ex, gave me little freedom, rarely supported me...I seriously felt like I couldn't go & do what I wanted and loved. I felt crippled. But I think it was his way to feel safe & be sure i'll always be by his side. but I wasn't happy.

 

 

Yeah I totally understand where you are coming from, i'm a very outgoing, active, loving spending time with friends kinda girl, I work hard for things, family means the world to me.

 

To him, he thinks why would you wanna do that, don't you wanna spend time with me, can't you help you uncle or grandmother another day.

 

Breaks my heart, i'm sure maybe he means well and he don't wanna lose me but those people mean alot to me espually my grandmother, i've always helped her, cause everyone else forgets, or is to busy to help her fix something, all the simple stuff that really doesn't take any time to do.

 

I guess I don't understand him, i'm a chick, I like watching the chick flicks, cleaning shows, dramas, i'm really sick of watching what he wants too. south park, simpsons are great and all but once if seen a episode once i'm good. He'd rather read a book then watch it with me.

 

:sad:

[Slick]

Maybe its for the best, or maybe it will teach him something about me!

 

I don't know!

[flower99]

Wow Slick, you're an extremly motivated, smart caring driven women. I think you're making a good choice.

You know in your heart this isn't about you choosing money over him. If that's the way he's seeing it, than he's not looking deep enough. and honestly, does he not know you very well?? Like even I can see from your words this isn't about money.This is about your future. Your education. Your life.

 

You're options are ask your parents to pay for school-which you already know that's not the right choice for you, that's not your style....I wouldn't want to ask that of my parents either, it's too much money.

 

Or you can work for it. this is about your life & future & education. 3 VERY important things. Yes you need money to get the education...but if he only thinks it's about money, than he's not seeing the bigger picture.

 

Distance shouldn't hold you guys apart. What happened yesterday? Why can't you two stay together & do long distance? Why isnt' he willing to give this a shot?

[flower99]

Wow you remind me of me (: You need a man that values the same things as you!!

 

My finacee made a trip with me last weekend to go & help my grandma. Why doens't he help you with your grandma?

 

Honestly, I think there may be a more suited guy for you. Or maybe he just needs to grow up a little. Like you want his shows & he won't watch yours? Helping your family is a huge thing to you & it is to me too. My ex didn't care much about it. he'd rather I do it another day (which he said everyday)

 

My finacee, on the other hand. has even gone out to help My family when I coudln't. He' makes trips with me to see my grandma an hour away to help her with household things or yard work. I love it & I think you need that. Someone who understands you & your heart.What's important to you, should be important to him.

[Slick]

Our relationship started out as long distance for 7 months, then he moved over here, I payed for that trip because I wasn't leaving him in a bad situation, he lived here with me for 6 months with my family, it was great, we graduated.

 

His mother got really really sick, I understand he had to leave and go back home to be with her. He didn't really give me a choice, it was you come here or forget about our relationship, when I talked to him last night!

 

He was trying to be a good guy last night and saying, i'll pay for everything ( the apartment, food, whatever you need) you can work and you can save your money for school. I said thats not fair to you nor me. What happens when he has no money for anything he wants to do, or saving money for himself to go to school next year. I sense that could be a bad situation and It could be taken out on me.

 

I don't consider that i'm abandoning him if something ever happened, i'd be there in a heart beat, and he knows it!

[flower99]

Yeah I sense that could be a bad situation. Kind of him to offer, but it could go bad quickly. Plus, you don't seem like the type to want to be fully dependent on him.

 

I dont' see this as abandoning him either, especially since he knows you would be there if he needed you. do you think this is something he will understand in time? Do you see yourself marrying him? Are you questioning your decision or is your heart sure?

[Slick]

I dont' see this as abandoning him either, especially since he knows you would be there if he needed you. do you think this is something he will understand in time? Do you see yourself marrying him? Are you questioning your decision or is your heart sure?

 

I hope he understands in time that I mean well! Deep down in my heart I never did see it, getting married to this guy. I have my beliefs, I grow up with both my parents being smokers, but they did teach me that its wrong & Drugs are really wrong!

I guess like the saying goes opposites attract, but you know, i'd rather not continue dealing with seeing him get high! I admit it i've tryed it, I had fun but its a real waste of money!

[flower99]

I hope he understands in time that I mean well! Deep down in my heart I never did see it, getting married to this guy. I have my beliefs, I grow up with both my parents being smokers, but they did teach me that its wrong & Drugs are really wrong!

I guess like the saying goes opposites attract, but you know, i'd rather not continue dealing with seeing him get high! I admit it i've tryed it, I had fun but its a real waste of money!

 

((hugs))

I guess there lies your comfort. you never did see yourself marrying him. And Pray he understands in time that you mean well.

You're right, Opposites really do attract, and that's okay most the time. Until it comes to values & beliefs in a marriage, than you should be on the same page.

Everything happens for a reason. Good will come of this

 

read my signature belows (I put it on there for you)

[Slick]

At this point I have no regrets, i'm heart set on going and nothing is stopping me now!

I've had one goal, as long as I can remember, i've always wanted to go to England, Rome & Paris! My dad's family was in the Military, he lived in England, traveled in Rome & Paris and many other places "loves them". I'm young i wanna travel, maybe live there some day!

 

And he thinks i'm full of myself!

[flower99]

At this point I have no regrets, i'm heart set on going and nothing is stopping me now!

I've had one goal, as long as I can remember, i've always wanted to go to England, Rome & Paris! My dad's family was in the Military, he lived in England, traveled in Rome & Paris and many other places "loves them". I'm young i wanna travel, maybe live there some day!

 

And he thinks i'm full of myself!

full of yourself ?? is that what he calls living your dream? lol

 

Oh sweetie, That's an awesome dream...damn girl. Do it!!! I am certain you will love. You only have one life, live it.

Keep your eyes on your dreams & follow them. One day, will come the right man, that will live your dreams with you.

 

I made the mistake....When I was 19 I had plans & a job lined up in Mexico..Dream job. I put it off & stayed for my ex (the one I spoke of....he wasn't worth it, but I know it all happened for a reason) within 6 months, i was pregnant. Well I'm 24 now & I haven't been to Mexico. raising a child alone takes up my time & money now. Dont' get me wrong, my son is a blessing I love him more than anyone & anything in the world.I tahnk God for him daily. However my dreams of travelling have been set aside for now. Not forgotten though, I'll still do it (:

 

Follow your dreams now, while you are young & nothing tying you down.

[Slick]

~Love is not gazing into each other's eyes; it is looking together in the same direction.~

 

~ There are a lot of changes in life, how we deal with them makes us who we are.~

 

LOVE IT!!!

 

You know, I know who I do see myself with.......

I meet this guy online from a friend of mine....he's really far away, we've talked for about 4 years, he's amazing...this might sound wired ( its like have a girl to talk too, but a very understanding, romantic man on the outside, he's with it) but if you asked him something about me he could tell you the answer in a heart beat. ( cause he listens )

[flower99]

You know, I know who I do see myself with.......

I meet this guy online from a friend of mine....he's really far away, we've talked for about 4 years, he's amazing...this might sound wired ( its like have a girl to talk too, but a very understanding, romantic man on the outside, he's with it) but if you asked him something about me he could tell you the answer in a heart beat. ( cause he listens )

 

 

Well that's fricken awesome!!!!!

4 years, that's a long time...garanteed he's not in for the sex...he he he totally kidding. But really, communication is key & you two obviously have that. He listens & remembers stuff...awww.

He knows everything about you and you both have remainded attracted & intrested in eachother for 4 years. I think there is definietly something there.