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I don't understand him...just naive to think he cared?!


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Hey guys,


Just feeling extremely down and need to talk I havent been on here in over a year as i finally managed to move on from my previous relationship but here i am again wallowing in grief in exactly the same situation. Is there ever going to be someone that doesn't break my heart?!! ](*,)


Here's the low down. Sorry it's long but i feel like i have to set the scene and get everything out. I met a guy on my university ski trip and we got on great, always flirting and chatting and having a really awesome time. From the very beginning he knew that this september i would be taking part in a study abroad scheme with uni so would be studying in france from sept-dec (4 months). He was in my room on the trip and we ended up sleeping together after a night out in the resort. Something that i didnt expect but just happened and we both seemed to want. In the morning he was all kisses and cuddles which i really didnt expect.


Anyway, to cut a long story short he took my number and called a couple of days after the trip (march). Since then we've seen eachother quite a lot around uni and on nights out with mutual friends and kept in touch via phone and text messaging. He was very slow...with that i mean he took a while to ask me to do anything alone. Which was good because we didnt rush into anything. At the end of term before the summer i saw him a lot and we walked round campus holding hands and kissing and to everyone else we were seen as an item but we oursleves hadnt actually clarified what was going on between us. I kept moaning to my friends and slightly holding back with feelings with i couldnt believe how well it was going. I've been in the same situation in the past with another guy who randomly finished with me so i'm kind of untrusting with people who seem to show an interest.


Anyway...i was starting to really like this guy and i thought he felt the same. He would leave his friends on nights out and come and meet me with my friends and stay out with us and really started to become part of our group. All my friends were jealous and always telling me how lucky i was to be with someone so nice and genuine as well as good looking.


When we broke up from uni for the summer i stayed over at his as usual on a friday night and had our last night together. He was really polite and lovely and as usual we slept toegther. In the morning when i had to leave we kissed goodbye for ages and held each other close. i thought he felt genuinely sad that i was leaving. I let a tear roll down my cheek and he told me that he would miss me a lot while i was away. Then i left.


As we never discussed what was happening between us and if we were even in a relationship i thought..although i really didnt want to...that it would be over until i returned to university in the second semester. Over the summer holidays i went on holiday with my girlfriends and was surprised that 3 days into my trip i had a message from him asking how it was going. I replied and after that we kept in touch every few days via the internet. I was quite pleased that he contacted me and thought that it must mean that he wanted our relationship to continue...again not really believing that it could be so perfect. When i came back from my trip he seemed eager to see me...well was asking if i would be making a trip to his hometown where my friend lives. I said yes and we arranged to see eachother. We spent the day and night together and he met all my friends from home and took me out for lunch.


After the visit to see him he came to see me at my university house 2 weekends a few weeks apart and we had a great time going out etc and spending time together. We were both aware that time was ticking and i would be leaving for france in just over a week. So i last saw him on monday and after a few drinks he asked me what we we're going to do about us with me going away and that. I said i don't know. He said that he thought it would be good if we could go on a break and see how it went went i came home. as 4 months is a long time i said ok that would be fine.


He left that morning after a hug and a kiss goodbye. I ran up to the bathroom and began to cry. 5 mins later i received a text saying that he had left his phone charger and was running back to my house. I quickly dried my eyes and went downstairs. he was standing in my living room with the charger in his hand which apparenty was in his bag all along. We looked at eachtother and both started to hug and kiss. I felt it was very emotional for both of us. He told me that he was going to miss me so much and that he wanted me to have a good time in france. i began to cry again and said i would miss him too. Then he left.


That evening i sent him a message telling him how i felt. I said that i wasnt sure what actually happened between us and was i his girlfriend because he never actually told me he liked me or said he wanted to be in a relationship even though it felt like we were. I said that i liked him a lot and hoped to see him again soon one day when i would be back from france. The next day i received a message saying that he wasn't sure what he wanted from "our relationship" and really didnt want to mess me around or hurt me and that of course he liked me a lot and shouldnt be stupid.


Feeling somewhat confused and worried about the whole not knowing what HE wanted from OUR relationship i called him. I finally asked him what was going on between us and what he wanted. He said at first that he would like to be in a proper relationship with me but had been in two previous long term realtionships and wasnt looking for another one at university. I told him that i had really wanted to lose contact whilst i was france because i felt it would be too hard to have long distance realtionship based on text messages. He then said that he never saw the relationship going anywhere because he knew all along i was going away and that he had held back and not let himself get too involved. he said he liked me a lot but wasnt sure how strong his feelings were towards me and felt that i liked him more than he liked me.


I instantly said "oh right well i think i know where i stand now, at least i know how you feel at last. I know that its totally over if you're unsure of your feelings towards me" said goodbye and that i would see him round at uni and hung up feeling shocked and upset that i had no idea he had felt this way from the way he was acting all along with me.


I then got a message off him saying that he was sorry and that he liked me and liked being with me and should have told me more when we we're toegther.


Now i'm totally confused. Does anyone have any idea what is going on? Does he like me but scared of commitment if i go away. or was he just using me? my friends are shocked as they thought he was genuinely sincere and really liked me. I'm so upset but i suppose i knew all along that it was too good to be true.


Thanks for reading x

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not yesterday but the day before. when he text saying that everything isnt just black and white and he never lied or acted in a way that wasnt real. oh i like him so much but am afraid if he really doesnt know how strong his feelings are. in that case theres no point trying if he's unsure how he feels.

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