Non-stop fighting, i cant take it anymore

[anonymous13]

We dated when we were high school, broke up, were friends for a long time, then got back together in our early 20s. we moved in together, got engaged, and everything was awesome. but after about 6 months we started fighting non stop. she would take off her engagement ring at the smallest little argument, and that upset me. i get mad because i feel she doesnt listen to me, she makes me feel insignificant, and always has an air of superiority. i acknowledge that it may just be my own insecurities, but still.

 

anyways, we get into really bad fights, i am always more rational about it but she gets really emotional. she threatened suicide, but i didnt believe it: she admits she just did it to get my attention and make me love her, like, "aren't you going to call 911? oh, i guess you don't really love me then." but i refuse to play stupid games like that and that makes her even more mad. then she gets all sentimental like i'm sorry, i love you, please don't leave. it seems like the only time she ever cares about me is when we've been fighting and she wants to make up.

 

last night she said "it's over" for like the 100th time, and i slept on the couch. but usually we always end up getting back together after like 1 day. she's already msging me saying "i love you" and everything else. like i said, she only loves me when she wants to make up. but i dont want to be in a relationship where im not happy and we're fighting all the time. what should i do?

[nuttybuddy]

woah.... she sounds bipolar. she may have a bipolar disorder--manic depressive.

 

maybe she should see a doctor.

 

you sound so drained from being in this tumultuous relationship. i wouldn't blame you. drama drama drama........

 

i actually caused some drama in my relationship too... but i learned my lesson after my bf really meant to leave me.

 

now i'm quiet and pacified as a lamb. baaaaah.

[psu11]

i want you to take a moment and imagine your life...10..15...25 years from now. do you REALLY want to spend your ONLY life in a constant state of argument? you clearly recgonize the problem this early on, and you cannot change someone. im betting this problem is only going to get worse with time. an engagement ring is symbolic of an everlasting bond, for her to remove it so easily would scare me into thinking she wouldnt hesitiate to throw in the towel even after marriage. just remember marriage is a commitment that is forever, and its not a solution to pre existing problems. think about it. what would be best for you and her need right now and in the future. there is where i think you will have your answer on what to do.

[RayKay]

So if she is this wishy washy with engagement, what happens when you are married? Will she keep some divorce papers ready to throw at you everytime she gets angry or upset with something?

 

She sounds incredibly immature and has a lot to learn about the art of compromise, compassion, respect and nurturing in a relationship. Right now, her way of being "right" is to throw a temper tantrum, threaten you or her life...she is manipulative, pure and simple.

 

This relationship is going to continue to break you down over and over with this pattern. It is incredibly unhealthy. Time to make a choice to get into counselling and see if that helps (if it does not, walk) or to just move on and find someone whom is more ready emotionally for what marriage is REALLY about.

[lissa23]

She sounds like she's just picking fights just to feel "the love". Even though you love her she wants you to beg for her still. I don't know if there's anything more you could ever do for someone like that.