Is it really all in the way you say it?

[RedPenguin]

I noticed, that usually when I tell a girl, she is attractive, has a pretty name or anything, she will generally act stunned that I said anything or she will smile, and look as if she just got a huge confidence boost.

 

But I've seen other guys literally say the exact same thing as me, sometimes people might say I use pick up lines, but I never get "in trouble for them" but so many other guys I see, when they say something like "boy don't you look pretty today", it's like the girl looks like she wants to really say f*** you. LoL.

 

But I never notice hostility towards myself, when I can say, exactly the same thing. I mean word for word.

 

So can someone say something to where it looks like they don't mean it or something? Why do some guys, just seem to have it, when they complement girls. When I used to complement, I know I used to go to far, but that was in High School where everything was weird but when I complement girls out of high school, they always love it, I never seem to get f*** you looks, but I was walking with a friend, who means well, but he got like a eww look, like it seemed like she tried to take it as a complement but didn't really care to take it from him.

 

It's almost like sometimes, girls take my compliments to mean it, even if I feel like I'm just saying it, because I'm flirting. I had one girl today, just introduce herself to me, all out of the blue, which never usually happens to me, and I said she had a pretty name but it makes sense, pretty name for a pretty girl, and she looked like she lost her breathe for a second, and like she really really enjoyed it, and I was being serious, obviously, other guys have to tell her that also, she was very attractive.

 

But to end this, does it really all come down to how you look (not physical but your approach) when you say something then really what you say? Not to be gross, but I've seen girls, that they will let some guys, talk slightly dirty to them, but if another guy even tries it in a small dose, he's liable to get killed.

[Dating Coach]

There is so much more to communication than just the choice of words. Of course how you say it means a lot, perhaps even more than what you say.

[boo121]

It is all about congruency. If you are congruent, you can get away with anything. lets say for example, you are talking to a girl and start to talk dirty with her. "hey guess where the best place ive ever had sex is?" and you say it in a nervous/weird way, she will blow u off. Why? because you are not congruent! This is why some guys can talk dirty to a girl, because they are comfortable talking that way.

 

Don't give compliments all the time, especially to open up a conversation with a girl. What.... you're telling me you need to compliment her just to talk to her? introduce yourself and act almost uninterested. You want to say hi, but you've got other things to do.

[HappyAsALark]

Some guys come of as arrogant and annoying and I would have to say it is all in the way you say these things. The tone of your voice and your body language are big factors, along with who else is around at the moment as well.

[Raiden]

It is all about congruency. If you are congruent, you can get away with anything. lets say for example, you are talking to a girl and start to talk dirty with her. "hey guess where the best place ive ever had sex is?" and you say it in a nervous/weird way, she will blow u off. Why? because you are not congruent! This is why some guys can talk dirty to a girl, because they are comfortable talking that way.

 

Why would anyone feel the need to start talking about, and I quote, "the best place they've had sex is" in public, anyway. Why not strike up an interesting conversation about Far Eastern history, philosophy, cognitive science or graphics processors.

 

Tsk. Honestly.

 

Seriously though, I don't get this 'dirty talk' thing. Never have, never will. I think it's the kind of conversation that's meant to be reserved for intimate occasions. If that's one's thing, even.

[Zackinlaw]

Some guys come of as arrogant and annoying and I would have to say it is all in the way you say these things. The tone of your voice and your body language are big factors, along with who else is around at the moment as well.

 

But admit it ... your reaction, negative or positive, correlates with how attractive you find him!

 

I am a firm believer in SINCERE compliments ... like flirting, they are truly a win-win situation.

 

Zack.

[RedPenguin]

I generally am comfortable with complimenting a girl, so I guess maybe that's why.

 

It's funny, sometimes, girls don't answer back with a thank you or anything, but their facial expression usually seems to say a lot. Generally, it's like they are shocked or they feel like it's a genuine compliment, it's not like I just walked in drunk and saw her, and said, boy you are pretty, I just slipped it into a normal conversation. And girls never seem to hate it, however I say it. Sometimes, girls will literally constantly watch me after I give them a compliment.

 

I've had two girls recently, who I complimented to an extent, one said thanks and they she enjoyed every word of it, and the other didn't say anything, but both for whatever reason, would never take their eyes off me after.

 

The one, who didn't say thanks, literally stared at me each day, in a way, you can not just imagine it, it was flat out staring. The other girl would glimpse over every now and then, where you can tell, she was trying to act like she wasn't. Both girls, for whatever reason, would look a lot but at the same time try to make it as if they were never looking.

 

I thought it was funny because I say stuff they probably heard before most of the time, but somehow they just seem to love it when I say it, maybe it's because I say it, then don't immediately ask them for their number or whatever, like I don't technically hit-on them.

 

Whatever I do, I do it in a weird way, I often get girls that will look over at me over and over, and for a little while, I thought, I'm just imaging, no guy can get girls just staring at him all the time unless he's hot as hell or is really weird, but somehow I get. I can't believe how many girls just flat out stared at me. I know I'm not weird, because guys never stare at me, LoL. I guess that's a good thing though, because I'm straight, and only want the sex I want to look at me a lot, LoL. Not that I have anything against gays, it's just not my preference.

 

Is it possible for a guy to just be a master talker even if deep down, he's really shy and social anxiety? It's like, even though I'm shy and social anxiety, or maybe just one of them, I somehow just always seem to know what to say to a woman, if not, why would so many watch me like a hawk? LoL. I bring up the woman looking over at me a lot because, it's so odd, every time I talk to another guy, they never have girls do that. So why do I? I'm good looking I think, but not the hottest in the world, but when I'm around, I get looked at like I am for some reason, LoL. Girls tend to get nervous also when I am around, I'm so friendly but yet, they act like they are nervous around me, and like they lose their train of thought, LoL. How do I cause such sillyness? LoL. I even had girls giggle out of no where, LoL. One even stared at me like she was going to jump me, and throw me against the wall and rip my clothes off, I was like, * * *, I thought only guys really looked at sex like that, LoL.

 

 

Also, why do girls, who are supposedly taken, and have a boyfriend, still seem to stare at other guys. I've had a few girls already, and I don't like to have them like me, at least in an obvious way, because I don't feel like getting with their boyfriend in a fight, but it's like, even girls with boyfriends will stare at me. Now why would they want to do that, if they already have something, that makes no sense to me at all. I've actually had more women with boyfriends stare then those without, which really makes no sense to me. Why can't single girls stare at me instead? LOL.

[Zackinlaw]

Hahahaha ... maybe it's pheromones, Red. More likely, you are better looking than you think!!

 

Zack.

[HappyAsALark]

But admit it ... your reaction, negative or positive, correlates with how attractive you find him!

 

I am a firm believer in SINCERE compliments ... like flirting, they are truly a win-win situation.

 

Zack.

 

Oh of course. But if a really good looking guy comes up to me and says something completely ignorant or comes off the wrong way, I say NEXT please.

[ghost69]

maybe the girls you say it to are snots and don't believe that you had the courage to talk to them. this could be based on your looks, the way you dress, etc. that might be why they are so shocked. who knows.

[Raiden]

maybe the girls you say it to are snots and don't believe that you had the courage to talk to them. this could be based on your looks, the way you dress, etc. that might be why they are so shocked. who knows.

 

It's feasible. These types of women do exist, I believe. They spoil it for all the nice girls out there, frankly.

[Dating Coach]

Also, why do girls, who are supposedly taken, and have a boyfriend, still seem to stare at other guys. I've had a few girls already, and I don't like to have them like me, at least in an obvious way, because I don't feel like getting with their boyfriend in a fight, but it's like, even girls with boyfriends will stare at me. Now why would they want to do that, if they already have something, that makes no sense to me at all. I've actually had more women with boyfriends stare then those without, which really makes no sense to me. Why can't single girls stare at me instead? LOL.

 

Perhaps I am a little confused here... because I can't quite get how if a girl with a boyfriend looks at you "in an obvious way" means that they like you. Maybe they think you are attractive but who cares? Beauty is common. It doesn't mean they like you. It fact, you can't even conclude with certainty that they think you're attractive. Maybe they are spacing out, maybe you have food on your face, etc. It just seems very odd to me that you would bold a complaint about girls staring. If a girl stared at me whom had a boyfriend I'd take it as a compliment and go about my day. I can't fathom how this would cause a complaint...

[RedPenguin]

I'm not complaining, just would be funny for the girls who liked me and were attracted to me and were SINGLE would watch me all the time, instead. HeHe.

 

HeHe.

 

Well, at least one girl, wasn't zoned out, she did it for like 10+ class periods in a row, after I told her I found her attractive but never talked to me, LoL. I wanted to go for her but she has a bf, and we talked on MySpace and I seen she was with him for 6 months, so I figured stay away big boy. Now that I never see her, it says she is single and now she is talking to me, and she never said anything about why she stared so much, I wonder if she even knows that she did it. Hmmm.

[boo121]

Why would anyone feel the need to start talking about, and I quote, "the best place they've had sex is" in public, anyway. Why not strike up an interesting conversation about Far Eastern history, philosophy, cognitive science or graphics processors.

 

Tsk. Honestly.

 

Seriously though, I don't get this 'dirty talk' thing. Never have, never will. I think it's the kind of conversation that's meant to be reserved for intimate occasions. If that's one's thing, even.

 

The point was about congruency, not starting up a conversation in public. If you would like some pointers on that, provide some questions and situations and ill see what i can do...

[boo121]

I generally am comfortable with complimenting a girl, so I guess maybe that's why.

 

fair enough, if it works for you. Jst dont make it ur hammer and nail.

 

Is it possible for a guy to just be a master talker even if deep down, he's really shy and social anxiety? It's like, even though I'm shy and social anxiety, or maybe just one of them, I somehow just always seem to know what to say to a woman, if not, why would so many watch me like a hawk? LoL. I bring up the woman looking over at me a lot because, it's so odd, every time I talk to another guy, they never have girls do that. So why do I? I'm good looking I think, but not the hottest in the world, but when I'm around, I get looked at like I am for some reason, LoL. Girls tend to get nervous also when I am around, I'm so friendly but yet, they act like they are nervous around me, and like they lose their train of thought, LoL. How do I cause such sillyness? LoL. I even had girls giggle out of no where, LoL. One even stared at me like she was going to jump me, and throw me against the wall and rip my clothes off, I was like

 

good for you! I expect you carry yourself confidently and have a good image. These things are attractive. Try teasing girls, pointing out funny things that they are doing... make sure they are enjoying it. Test it out.

 

 

Also, why do girls, who are supposedly taken, and have a boyfriend, still seem to stare at other guys. I've had a few girls already, and I don't like to have them like me, at least in an obvious way, because I don't feel like getting with their boyfriend in a fight, but it's like, even girls with boyfriends will stare at me. Now why would they want to do that, if they already have something, that makes no sense to me at all. I've actually had more women with boyfriends stare then those without, which really makes no sense to me. Why can't single girls stare at me instead? LOL.[/b]

 

 

I expect a lot of it has to do with security and human nature but... I dont think this stuff really matters. All that matters to you, is that a girl is checking you out, and you need to talk to her! Make eye contact with her, and say hello! Sounds so simple doesn't it.... thats because it is!

[RedPenguin]

I do tease girls and they seem to like it.

 

I had to laugh when this one girl liked when I said pretty name for a pretty girl, I thought she will just say thanks and that's it. She looked like she liked it way more, she didn't look shocked, I used the wrong words earlier, she actually looked like, how someone would look, if they finally find out who they liked, liked them back.

 

Women, when I complement them and/or tease them, they seem to get nervous and shy and it's like their blood starts to flow. I know that sounds odd, but they look like deep down they secretly love what I'm saying.

 

I never once, after High School, had a girl blow me off after making a compliment, but for whatever reason, they tend to get shy and nervous.

 

I was amazed the one day, how a girl all out of the blue introduced her self to me, that normally doesn't happen to me like that, and she and I were talking like we knew each other for a while.

 

I actually saw her before that, she was out side smoking and her underwear were showing, and I shyed away because I don't like to look like a pervert, and I wasn't sure if she seen that, but she just came in, and all out of the blue introduced herself to me, once she came in and I was on the computer.

 

Girls never get angry with me it seems, it's so odd, I've even had girls that were known to be "evil" or mean, and they are friendly with me. I guess I must just have a good self that they enjoy or something.

 

I like to tease my friends also, when their is a cute girl, I tell my friends they better leave the room, it's dangerous, I will handle the "dangerous" girl all by myself, I will suffer for them. I also will take the punishment if she decides to rip my shirt off and throw me against the wall and kiss me. I joke with my friends and they know, I actually love women but act like, who needs them.

 

I don't know what I do, but I get more smiles then most of my friends. I noticed that girls don't tend to smile at my friends as much as I. I thought at first, I was seeing things, they are ok guys, but I don't think they are as attractive or something, I mean in how they carry themselves. The one is extremely social anxiety and the other is social anxiety with non-stop talking. LoL. He literally gets thrown out of the places by girls and many say that he scares them, the second one. He isn't an ax murderer or anything though. And no, this is not all in my head. I will literally walk with someone, and they will always comment on this and that girl who smiled at me, especially when I go to local malls and stores but now they seem to be smiling at me in classes in college now.

[boo121]

You have a headstart at 19, compared to most other guys so you're doing good. Just remember, if something doesn't quite go to plan... keep at it.

[Lana0120]

I think it is your approach. If a guy says 'you're pretty' and gives you a once over, or sounds insincere... well the thought is he may be fake and only after one thing. If people sound like they mean it... it MEANS something to you.