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So I met this nice guy dancing last week. Or so I thought he was nice. Seemed nice cause he was awkward. I don't know why I equate nice with awkward. But anyways, he was attractive, but to be honest I wasn't quite feeling him cause of his awkwardness but when he asked me for my number I thought I would give him a chance, who knows? maybe he is cool?


So he called me on Monday afternoon and we played phone tag a bit and got in touch yesterday afternoon while I was heading into work. I wasn't getting out til 9 or 10 and he asked me to call him when I got off. So I did. I had a cold and was feeling crappy and had to be back at work at 8 am. He didn't ask me how I was or anything but asked if I wanted to come over to his house.




I was like..... is that just social awkwardness or is he asking me to come over so we can get nasty? He told me he had just arrived at a bar welcoming new students to his graduate program.


I am not into that style, not one bit. Maybe he thinks I am very loose like that or that's what he is used to I don't know. Do you think he might be clueless about etiquette or is it generally assumed if he asks that he just wants to get some action?


When I told him I wasn't feeling good he expressed sympathy and said we should be in touch in the next couple of days but nor did he try and set something up for a specific day. I am not down for a same day date scheduling kind of thing. It's gotta be at least one day ahead of time!!

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Well, see if he calls again and what he does. If he calls and asks for that night, tell him that if he wants to go out, he needs to ask you ahead of time. If that's not how he wants to work, my bet is he will not ask again.


If you do date, since you don't know him well, be safe: make sure to meet and depart in a public area; and let him know someone else knows who you are with.

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Either way I think you simply tell him nicely "thanks for the invitation but I would prefer to meet somewhere else." If he doesn't get the hint, then tell him that you are not comfortable going to someone's house who you do not know. As far as same day scheduling, if he tries to do that simply say "thanks for the invitation but I already have plans today - how about____"

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I don't know why I get the feeling that he was awkward because he was not that interested.


Next time he calls and asks you to meet him that same night tell him very nicely that you already have plans. This should clue him in that he needs to make plans ahead of time or you might not be available. Like beec said if he does not like that he won't call again.


Some people are like " I don't like to make plans" I think it's bs. If you are a respectful person then you will take the other persons schedule ( and health in this case) into account.


So he knew you were feeling sick but wanted you to come over to his place anyway? After 10pm and you don't really know him?

I don't like it. Trust your instincts and take it slow with this guy.

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thank you... you all seem to find it odd too... i don't know him at all... but i was like... where does this guy come from asking me to meet him at his house? it was so weird, i asked: "so are you all going to your house?" which he didn't answer, he just started talking about how they were new students and he'd just arrived and was thinking to do something else.


but no, he asked me to come to his house before he knew i was sick, but nor did he even ask me how i was or anything to see what i was up to, he just asked me if i wanted to come over, i guess assuming i'm not doing anything??? weird. yeah, i dunno, i will gauge it by how he is. i definitely am not feeling this so far... but i will see what he asks me when he calls. no official "date" then we aren't meeting up. geez, he is in graduate school and about to get his Ph.D. and doesn't seem to get it at all. Weird!! Personally, the best response he could have had would have been, well... how about Thursday? or something like that.... Not... lets talk in a couple of days... But when we talk... I will likely be busy... Not to fake it, but I usually am. I plan things with all my friends.

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