She Called!

[in_love]

Ok, I knew she would and I was right and as much as I told her not to call for my own sanity I absolutely am certain she will call again!!!!

 

Anyway, as you all know I have had all the signs and things we all really really want when we get dumped. I am talking the full hog excluding one major thing, the commitment. She calls and calls and talks and talks.

 

Anyway, she called, I said who is this, something I dunno something daft. It was her. I let her yap a little and listened, she was talking bout nothing really just BS. I then just said in a really p'ed off tone "what is it you want from me, what is it between us?"... "mistake" I hear ya all shouting... in my opinion I HAD TO DO IT. its been almost a year and I was fine 4 months ago. Anyway, she just blabbed on about all her wants (no not her wants as in I want you to do this, more liek I want I want I want I want, she wants freedom but me around as a little safety net basically) and I asked her did she even realise or see what she has just put me through over the last 4 months? I aint aiming for a guilt trip with her, I was seriously NEEDING to find out if she is in fact heartless or just messed up... I still dont know, I cannot get inside her head she is the most clever, scheming woman I have ever been with!!!!

 

The moral of the story is this.

 

If you can honestly sit there after 4 months of FULL CONTACT with your ex, not just little doses here and there and at the end when you are still unsure of your status, if you can turn round and say "hey, I am grand, my head and heart is all cool and well ya know its all great". I will post you a cheque for £5000!!!!!

 

You havea time frame in my books. If they aint back soon after the break-up then quit with the waiting and start letting her go! She aint coming back anytime soon and dont kid yourself, my break-up was one major mess!!!!! I did every mistake and pushed her totally away!!!! I went 3 months NC, hit her up with an email... guys I was genuinely ok at this point. I was seriously ok. As the months ticked by and we continued to stay in touch thats when I started losing my sense of self, I couldnt really determine what was happening, it all pointed to reconciliation and she even talked of it, she sent emails with I love you's and all the rest, I am talking major signs. We met for 3 days just a couple of weeks ago and thats when it completely went down hill.... from hot to cold in a heart beat.

 

Be careful, dont kid yourself, your situation is a break-up and waitin g around for someone is the most idiot thing you can possibly do, I know, I did it!!!!

 

Your ex doesnt want you, you should then have enough self respect to accept and let it go from the moment you're told its done.

 

Very very very crazy 11 months it has been for me and the worst is this... I told her never to call me again, I actually PLEASED her not to call me again and leave me alone for ME, I need this ya know. Well... she will call and call again and again.... I dunno what I have let myself in for. I wish sometimes I just never met her in the first place.

 

Out of thi smess however, I have met some really decent folks, some I am regularly in touch with and I mean, without that break-up I would have never met these people. I have found my path in life, I have realised there were a lot of thiungs about myself which I seriously needed to address. I aint a bad lad but yea, I had some internal fights with myself.

 

I suppose, in the long run, 3 years was long enough but I am 31, I was married for 4 years and with the same person for 3. I regret messing that up, it was me who messed it up but I am over her completely I just wish it was as easy this time round.

 

Life is the most amazing experience. Beats any movie I have ever watched!

[papalazarou]

A lesson to us all!

 

Hey Insidious you reading this bro? I think you should take a leaf out of in lovs book lol

[rokston]

great post in_love!! i'm sure there are many echoes of this kind of situation:

 

i waited for 8 months of ex being confused but we were sill together, living together and the rel was on. just every time we had to plan anything a few weeks in advance - i had to listen to the lines "oh i don't know, you know how things are between us, i am not sure". in the end & largely due to family circumstances, i had to say "you are either in this or you are not. i cannot take anymore uncertainty and my life needs some stability right now. i love you and want you but i need to know where i stand with you" so we broke up. since then it's 4 months of the same stuff "i love you, but i am not ready to be with you. i am confused blah blah blah"... in the end, although i still miss and love her and would like to be together.. i am fed up. time to let go completely.

 

have some regrets, made some mistakes but in the end so did she and i was willing to work through them while she wasn't. when you choose someone to be with you've got to take the good and the bad to some degree... i feel content that i tried till the end to make it work. it happens, move on!

[papalazarou]

 

have some regrets, made some mistakes but in the end so did she and i was willing to work through them while she wasn't. when you choose someone to be with you've got to take the good and the bad to some degree... i feel content that i tried till the end to make it work. it happens, move on!

 

 

Yep spot on old chap.

 

I know when I split from my ex the one thing I could say was that there was nothing else I could have done. I wanted to try she gave up the ghost. Too easily in my opinion but it was over 6 months ago now. I walked away with my head held high.

 

HER problem NOT mine.

 

What is interesting is that since the split her life hasnt exactly been a bed of roses. What a shame.

[Mavis VDSande]

I'd like to Bump this thread!!

[in_love]

i think it all boils down to two words

 

self respect

 

without it you can say bye bye to life, lovers and self worth!