Please! My brother is getting out of hand!

[SilverManic]

I really need to vent on this one. My brothers room is absolutly fowl the smell of moldy beer and trash is starting to come under my bedroom door. I'm trying to clean my room out and keep the bugs away that seem to be migrating from his room to mine, Although I just can't understand why as there is nothing in here for them. I've been hovering, tidying and keeping my room so tidy it's taking me 3-4 hours every day to do all the dusting etc since I got back from a 7 week vacation.

 

To be honest I can't believe my brother is even alive, there is a thick layer of trash on the floor and it stinks like anything, there are magots in his carpet! I told him if he doesn't have it sorted by the time my mom comes back I am paying her to clean it (she's a pro cleaner and I can't do it it's a heath risk). It is a heath risk to me and my baby, it's making the whole house smell. My grandparents have thretened him, asked him nicely and done allsorts to try and get him to keep it clean. We have all cleaned it at some point in the past 4 years and it's just getting aweful. They even threatened to kick him out.

 

It can not go on like this, once the baby is here it's going to make her ill! He's living worse then a tramp and it makes my skin crawl.

 

Does anyone have any surgestions of what I can do to keep the crap away from my room? He makes the hall a mess and I am picking up out there every day! My grandfather has asked me to clear the landing for him in the next week and as I work for my grandparents it's not like I can say no, of course they would never ask me to clean his room while I'm pregnant or not for that matter.

 

Ok well the deal is, my nan and mom have both been trying to get him to do something about it, mom has come over and heaved while cleaning his room out and making it spotless but it always happens again. Now he's talking about getting a lock. He's been in a job for over 6 months now and I work for my grandparents and can not move, I feel it's time since he has a job that he should move out. But my nan will not talk to him and neither will my mom.

 

I really really need advice, they won't listen to me or anything I say and I am so sick of the stench!

 

Please someone give me and idea of how to get him out!

[Blue Skittles]

Geez what is your brother going to do when/if he gets a girlfriend? No one would want to go near that room!!! If there is no possible way of kicking him out and its toomuch for you to deal with i would suggest hiring a maid once a month and giving him the bill.

[SilverManic]

Ok get this, he has a girlfriend and she stayed in the room for 3 weeks and didn't care! *coff heave* I told my nan that she needs to get it cleaned and higher out a cleaner to clean it once a week. Weather she does it or not is a compleatly diffirent matter!

 

Edit: my brother won't pay for it, he doesn't care.

[jul-els]

This is quite a condundrum and sounds like a very serious health hazard. I honestly think you're only way out is to move out. This environment could be an endangerment to your newborn.

 

Either that or maybe you could explain to him the health concerns for bringing the baby into the house and that you will do everything you can to help him find a new place.

 

Or you could hire a cleaning service to come in weekly and pay for it yourself. Not fair, but probably money well spent to keep your child healthy. By the sound of it, they may not do the initial cleaning and you might have to do it yourself. The maid service can take over from there.

 

If he puts a lock on the door, just call a locksmith while he is out.

 

I feel badly for anyone who might end up as his roommate, but you have bigger concerns. Unbelievable. Best of luck.

[Blue Skittles]

I can't believe his girlfriend puts up with that!!! Could you imagine how messy and dirty their whole house would be if they got married!! Eeeewwww... they would probably have bugs and mice everywhere!

[SilverManic]

I spoke to my nan and her and my mom are going to clean it when my mom gets back from vacation next week. I am going to surgest they get a cleaner in and have her come once a week to clean it. I'll even find them a cleaner. My nan said she wants my brother to move out but she can't get him to leave! She really is serious it's just she's so old she's scared he'll smash the house up like he used to in the past. I can't stop him either! He would just smash me one.

[jul-els]

I spoke to my nan and her and my mom are going to clean it when my mom gets back from vacation next week. I am going to surgest they get a cleaner in and have her come once a week to clean it. I'll even find them a cleaner. My nan said she wants my brother to move out but she can't get him to leave! She really is serious it's just she's so old she's scared he'll smash the house up like he used to in the past. I can't stop him either! He would just smash me one.

 

That's terrible! You need to report him to the authorities when he does this and have a restraining order placed against him.

[Miss Firecracker]

He's mentally ill and needs help badly.

 

The only suggestion I have is for you guys to tear out his carpet and put down vinyl flooring that can be disinfected regularly. It may be a little costly, but for the health of everyone in the home, it really needs to be done. At least that way you can mop the place up while he is out somewhere.

[nuttybuddy]

I don't think ANYONE should clean his room until he MOVES OUT. Kick him out! Let him go live with his gf. Put his stuff outside the house. And lock his room up with a new lock. Oh, he'll throw a tantrum, but as long as he goes, the tantrum is worth it.

 

When and ONLY when he has moved out, THEN hire a professional to clean that room. DO NOT have your nana or your mom clean it. It's a health risk to them as well. Advise the professional to wear a mask when they clean. There could very well be molds and fungus growing in that room, and if anyone breathes that in, they can get meningitis or lung infection.

[SilverManic]

The meningitus/ lung infection is exactly what I am scared of! I am seriously scared that I am going to get really sick and it will effect my growing child. Right now we have resulted to spraying the hall way with disinfectant air freshener and I keep a cloth to stop the smell from seeping into my room under the door.

 

unfortunately if they don't clean it I am still going to be suffering as they arn't going to get rid of him anytime soon. To be honest I wish my brother would hurry up and get meningitus so he can see what a risk he is putting the whole house in and especially me. I know he doesn't care or even care about me but I wish he would! I really used to care about him until he turned out like this!

 

I don't know about the pulling up the carpet and putting down lino but I will surgest it.

 

Thank you!

~S.

[Ash]

If you need some practical ways to deal with the filthy room (I realize you need to deal somehow with him directly as well) you could consider the following.

 

1. If there's a screen on his window then you could remove the glass part so his room had a good air exchange with outside. This of course may be a problem is the rain can get in and make the carpet wet.

 

2. You can put weather stripping on his door to reduce air exchange into the hall. If he's in the habit of leaving it open then a door closer might help. (I do realize he may simply undo all these things).

 

3. Put a fan in the hall to move the air, at the same time leaving a window or two open so the dirty air can exchange with outside air.

 

4. Put a fan in your room pulling air in through your window (and leaving your room through your doorway) so that YOU always have fresh air.

 

Of course, ultimately his room has to be cleaned up and he has to be dealt with somehow.

[SilverManic]

he keeps his window open all the time anyway so that isn't an issue. I'm just very very angry as the hall way now smells of mold and smoke

He also has a very rude habit of playing guitar when he gets back from work. I'm sorry but it's 8:38 and I want to go to bed with out a headache thank you very kindly ](*,)

 

I have spoken to my grandfather and asked him to discuss lino with my nan. I am also going to surgest it to her when she wakes up. I'm about ready to write out an action plan for them and if they won't follow it then I am going next door to the owner and complaining about my living conditions as a landlord he has a obligation to do something.

 

I am thinking Lino will set them back about $100 as that room is tiny. They can buy it and put it down when they gut his room out. Then they can pay someone to come and clean it every week. This is the thing I am going to push for them to do. They also need to get him a trash can for his room, it may reduce the mess somewhat.

 

I told my Nan about places that are rent and bills included for $600 pcm which is cheap for my brother who earn's about $1600 pcm. I told her I think he should move into one. She doesn't want to do anything until my mom gets back on tuesday and she probably won't come over for a week. So until then I am covering my mouth when I walk out of my room and spraying the hall way when it gets unbearable.

 

My exema has come up badly because of the environment. I am really annoyed I'd just got rid of it. I just hope my mom doesn't take a month to come over and do it. My nan is going to get rubber gloves and face masks to go in there. She even said about getting a face mask for me to get out of the hallway.

 

Oh and get this, the lady who checks up on my granddad (who is disabled) came over today and this huge scratching noise from above where my brothers room is started. She was like 'oh you must have visitors' (meaning mice or rats) FANTASTIC!

 

~S x

[nuttybuddy]

ewwww.... mice! that's not good.....

 

is there any way you can remove yourself from that house until your mom comes? maybe you could go live with a friend. what about with the father of your child?

 

i think your eczema came back cuz you're so stressed out. try to calm down.

 

how many weeks are you in pregnancy? take care of yourself. don't be too angry. you gotta think happy thoughts when you are pregnant. it's not good for the baby if you are angry and stressed out.

 

i think removing yourself from the house will be faster than waiting around for someone to do something about his room.

[Miss Firecracker]

If your brother moves into his own place, he will be kicked out on the street and running back home. He will never make it on his own. He needs to be living in a group home and someone to be in charge of his care, but it's hard to do that to a loved one. Poor guy. And poor you.

 

If you get linoleum, I hope you don't get the stick-on squares. Filth would get in between the cracks.

 

This is just horrible.

[SilverManic]

I don't really have any friends I could stay with Mom is out of town so I can't go stay with her. The reason why I lost contact with most of my friends is because my husband lives in the USA and I live in England and we are waiting for his visa. I'm working for my nan and granddad and then when hubby gets here we will look for jobs and try and find some child care. It is a bit complicated really.

 

I know really my brother would never make it on his own but I was hoping his girlfriend might be more responsablile. Maybe get him to clean but aparently there is no suck luck

[nuttybuddy]

Sorry to hear about that. You are in a tough situation. I really don't think changing him or cleaning up for him is gonna be faster than you moving out.

 

Or maybe you could strike up a deal with him somehow. It doesn't sound like he cares enough to go through any hassle for you. I wouldn't even expect anything from his gf. Leave her out of this.

 

If you are earning money from working for your family, then maybe you could try to find a cheap flat for yourself.

[Miss Firecracker]

I think if you report this to the owner of the property, they will kick the whole bunch of them out. That would be sad too.

 

If this is rental property, they may not even allow you to make changes in the flooring.

[jul-els]

I think if you report this to the owner of the property, they will kick the whole bunch of them out. That would be sad too.

 

If this is rental property, they may not even allow you to make changes in the flooring.

 

True, but I think it would be worth the extra money they might charge you. You can't put a price on your health.

[SilverManic]

We can make changes in the flooring. The place is 25% my grandparents and they have a legal contract saying they can live here. Well I am not getting paid any money to work for them. I get room and board. Moving out isn't an option. Only 2 more days till my mom gets home and we can try and sort something out. He said he would tidy his room this weekend but I haven't seen any trash be removed. Someone cleaning it for him is about the easiest thing. To be honest if I could move out I would have done it years ago hahaha! Just waiting on my husband to come back so he can get a job and then I'll look at finding work somewhere else.

 

Thanks,

~s.