I can't take it anymore!

[JJBubbles]

I have known this one girl for about 10 years now. We went to school together and then she moved and I moved but we kept in touch. After so many years we ended up moving in together with my sister. We thought it would be a good idea but now I see that it wasn't. Me and my sister are fed up with her lack of consideration. She bought a dog and has ha dit for a year, and for the past year me and my sister have basically been taking care of the poor little thing. We have 2 dogs of our own and we do not need an extra dog (especially a puppy) to take care of. She thinks if she spends one day out of the week with her dog, than thats good enough. She's really stupid in many aspects and she is very defensive in whatever you say negative about her. I have come to realize this now that I am living with her. She has never bought a mop for the house. I have bought a few mops but the one she picks up piss and poo with should not be used to mop the whole house, but she doesn't realize that, so she never buys a new mop. She never mops the house in the first place and my sister ends up picking up after her because we are so sick of living in a zoo. I have sat down and talked to her a few times and she apologizes, changes for a few days, and then gos back to her same routine. She was even about to give her dog away because her bf is supposedly allergic to dogs and she is always at his house and this is why she leaves the dog out our house. She also mentioned she won't be moving in with him anytime soon. But we want her too! We are animal lovers and I pisses me off that somone that I have known forever almost is mistreating a dog and thinks that the way she is raising it is ok. I don't want to speak to her or even look her in the eye anymore and she still thinks we are "bestfriends". Our friends have told us to throw her out but thats a little hard because she is very defensive, takes this to extreme heart, has a bad temper, gets offended easily and her family is psycho. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm tired of telling her what to do. It's not my problem or my duty!

[Lana0120]

I'm answering this because it's not as long as some, but it's still really hard going without paragraphs! It sounds like you've tried talking to her about this but to no avail. So it sounds to me like it is time for an ultimatum - that she either takes up her responsibilities, in terms of her share of the chores and the care of her puppy, or she and her puppy move out! It sounds like you've tried to be accommodating and sort out the situation, but if she goes back to her old ways, I don't see what else you can do. Good luck!

[thyroxine]

I had to go through this with my friends. We rented a house together and soon I saw I was the only one to do the work and the only one who understood that the mop needs to be changed every so often! One roommate got two rats, and the other got two cats. (I have two cats as well.) I fed, cleaned, and took after all of the animals. I really didn't like the rats so much so while I would take care of them, I really did not give them the attention they needed.

 

Actually, after living with these two girls, I can safely say I no longer want to be friends with them. Their habits were disgusting and annoying. Luckily one moved out of state, but I'm still dealing with the other.

 

Have talk with your friend, bring up what you brought here and maybe even talk about her moving out? Either way you bring that up, it'll be straining on your already strained friendship. In this situation, you have to think of what will be best for your mental health...not her's. The only thing I would really worry about is that psycho family of her's doing something stupid to you and your sister.

[JJBubbles]

I ended up sending her an e-mail with how I felt. My bf help me right it so it would come out right and not mean because there are things that I would have said to make everything worse. In general the e-mail just said that our living situation is not working out this way and if things continue we're going to have to sit down and take further action about this. She replied saying that she is tired of me bothering her about this and that she has been taking care of her dog. Just because she takes care of the dog 5% more than what she use to does not make a whole difference after having to take care of it for a year. I shouldn't have to bring this up again but I did because the problem is obviously not solved. In the end she is stubborn and even my bf was surprised to the way she repsonded. She also mentioned she is not moving out which I never mentioned to her to move out. So she took everything negatively. She also said she is doing the best she can do, when she doesn't work and sleeps at her bf's house. It's like ummm..... it doesn't look like your trying and because you think doing something right one day relieves you from doing something the next day. Anways, we'll see.