Appearing sad at work/uni...

[shy2cool]

I started to get a bit teary at work today when I was thinking about my life and where I am at in the whole scheme of things. I think I hid it well enough, but I looked pretty down most of the time I was at work. This has been happening on and off for the past couple of weeks. I mean, there is no point in faking happiness right?

 

I should point out that I have an intense fear of initiating conversations with people, so I feel really lonely. Twice as hard with the opposite sex. This is bad because it makes people think that I'm a snob and that I don't want to talk to them, when in reality I really want to.

 

 

[CHEMICAL_ROMANCEXXX]

sorry that you're not very happy with things at the moment but YOU have the power to change that but it requires you taking action. how about writing down all the things that are getting you down at the moment and then setting yourself some goals. it seems like most of you're problems are related to the fact you have little self-confidence, correct?? do you have a good self image?? perhaps thats something you could try and work on. i think there is some truth in the saying, if you can't make it fake it. i'm sure there is plenty of information on this site alone that will help you and i'm sure more people will reply with good advice. good luck, be positive

[sweetheart607]

there is no point in faking happiness right?

 

I should point out that I have an intense fear of initiating conversations with people, so I feel really lonely. Twice as hard with the opposite sex. This is bad because it makes people think that I'm a snob and that I don't want to talk to them, when in reality I really want to.

 

 

 

So firstly I find personally when making friends it's easier to do if you seem happy then you get to know them and then talk to them about your problems, but its like people are drawn by happy people and miserable people are avoided. so maybe a little bit of fake happy could be good i am not saying live a lie ithere have been times in my life when i am miserable and grumpy and wanted to cry at work so i know it's not easy.

 

As for the snob thing again this is about you and how you come accross to other people just start doing a couple of things differently and you might see a change for example smile at people and say hi or if you see some one dowm ask how they are show an interest and people will recipricate.

[jettison]

I started to get a bit teary at work today when I was thinking about my life and where I am at in the whole scheme of things. I think I hid it well enough, but I looked pretty down most of the time I was at work. This has been happening on and off for the past couple of weeks. I mean, there is no point in faking happiness right?

 

I should point out that I have an intense fear of initiating conversations with people, so I feel really lonely. Twice as hard with the opposite sex. This is bad because it makes people think that I'm a snob and that I don't want to talk to them, when in reality I really want to.

 

 

 

There have been some occasions in my life where I was feeling very anti-social. I didn't want to reach out, my "hello's" had no enthusiasm, I didn't maintain eye contact for long enough, and I didn't smile as much. The body language was clear...... stay the hell away. And in turn, that's exactly what people do. Most people are not willing to break down those walls.

 

However, at some point, I will have some kind of epiphany, and something will happen to make me feel vital and flowing again. I'll break out of it in a big way, and just let it all fly. And at first, I am always amazed by how positively and enthusiastically everyone seems to react in kind. And then I always think, my God, it could have always been like this. What was I worried about? Why did I need to withdraw?

 

Well, it's because I was likely going through some specific problems, but I think it's a good lesson. Take baby steps and start to do things to reach out to people. Force yourself. Sometimes, I'll go buy flowers for a random co-worker, and set in on their desk. One of my co-workers said she was frightened of a particular movie, and that it gave her nightmares and has made her sleep with the light on for 15 years. So, I netflixed Cape Fear and we watched in the conference room at lunch. This was completely out of the blue. It's also a great idea to send out random emails to virtual co-worker strangers.

 

For example, you could send an email to an acquaintence that says, "I appreciate you. You are a postive force around here. Just thought you should know that." You don't have to show affection to just the opposite sex or to crushes. Practice this with everyone you know. Eventually, it starts to become a part of you.

 

Do not fear the invevitable rejection that will come at the hands of this practice. Some people won't respond much. Why? Because they may be just like you. However, others will, and that's who matters.

[shy2cool]

Thank you all.

 

Would I appear strange if I go from looking happy one day to sad to happy another? because that's my current cycle.

 

Some days I feel good, but others I feel bad and think too much of my life.

[jettison]

You mean, would you appear strange if you appeared human? Well, considering all the masks being worn, and all the false pretenses being given out so liberally by all comers, I'd say that, yes, you'd look "pretty weird".

 

That said, please go ahead and look "pretty weird". "Don't be henchman and stand on your laurels. Do what no one else does and praise the good of other men for good man's sake. And when everyone else in the world follows your lead, although a cold day in hell it will surely be, that's when the entire world shall live in harmony."

[Lana0120]

You said that there's no point in faking happiness. Around people who know you well and in your own home, absolutely not. Out in public? Yes, put on a brave face, because it'll make you more approachable and strangely enough, if you act happy and make an effort to be happy, you can actually become happy, or at least stop yourself from feeling miserable!

[mizz_sweety]

I think you need to loosen up a bit sweety, because if ur coming accross snobby (when u dont mean to) then to be honest i'm not surprised people dont want to speak to you.

 

Be confident!!!