I'm ending this on a bad note with her and I don't want to

[Somerandomguy82]

I had to break up with my girlfriend last night. We sat there we talked about taking a break, but we couldn't even figure out what we would fix or what time apart would fix. Because of various reasons I am filled with anger and resentment towards her. I have found myself now taking this out on her. She has done things that hurt me, but I love her and didn't want to break up with her. I know that I want her to be happy, but I feel like she was too involved with being defensive (and obviously defending herself) or her insecurities to ever even listen to what I said. Last night I asked her about things I talked to about which really were very important to me and she couldn't remember and then said it was because she had a bad memory which infuriated me which in turn makes me feel like a childish POS. She is a wonderful girl. It's going to take me a really long time to get over the fact that I couldn't fix this. She has done some things that should have ended a relationship when they took place, but that's now more my fault than hers for not ending it when they happened. I don't know what to do. I want to talk to her and she wants to talk to me, but I've let so many things go that just the way she says something sets something else off that hurt me and I didn't want to bring to her attention. I can't stand to end this relationship with me lashing out at her. I am never this childish. I don't know what is wrong with me. Why am I making this even harder on her than it even is? She is probably sitting at home crying and I still can't get over the reasons that I had to break up with her for.

[Optigan]

She has done some things that should have ended a relationship when they took place, but that's now more my fault than hers for not ending it when they happened.

 

Perhaps it would be good to be aware of this whatever you do or don't do.

[Optigan]

I mean I don't know what you mean by "lashing out" and "ending on a bad note". I sure hope that you don't feel guilty for months on end whenever you show some justified anger.

 

Why do you think she's probably crying? Because you were "rude" to her or because she's sorry for what she did?

[Somerandomguy82]

Logic doesn't seem to be the usual precursor to the actions I take when it involves her. I am making her feel worse and I don't want her to. I can't seem to shake these negative emotions. I don't know what to do.

[Somerandomguy82]

I really don't know what to think anymore. I'm just sick of being miserable and had to end it last night. I hate to think that I'm making that fact even harder on her because I can't control my emotions.

[Optigan]

Well you know, if she did wrong things, I can't see how that can bring up positive emotions in either of you.

 

If I understood correctly, you not only think this relationship should be over, you even kind of regret not having ended it quite a while ago.

 

You say you don't know what to do. Why do you think you should do anything? Haven't you done what needed to be done?

[Entropy Smith]

Emotions go up and down. Surf'em don't try to control 'em. Yea, cut her from the team, she'll get over it and grow eventually , you didn't murder anyone so quit beating yourself up...you "fix" cars not relationships...

[Skippy]

Sorry about what you are going thru, sometimes things are not to be and there doesn't need to be a specific reason. Sometimes people are not a match and it isn't her fault or your fault. It just isn't the right match.

Before you do anything permanent, sit down and think of why you should be together, if you find yourself still resenting her, it is best to let go.

It is not a bad thing, it is just life.