Issues with anger and unkindness of others

[Violette]

Hello,

 

I was wondering if anyone had advice on how to deal with anger. I have had some instances of people being mean to a relative of mine (teasing/common female social clique harassment) and I'm not certain how to deal with it personally. For the relative, she deals with it all very well herself. I'd like to do the same...

I get mad, and unusually so, ending up thinking about incidents for hours. Once more, it's irrational anger and nothing can be done about the situation.

 

I have noticed that this is not the only case I respond to emotionally. Very pointless things, such as careless or teasing remarks by a certain someone close to me have been getting on my nerves. Sometimes I feel as though I cannot hold it in. There are many other cases, but so petty that I feel embarrassed to tell them here. I have a very big problem with letting the unkind things people say or do bother me.

 

Any advice?

[Dako]

Do you express your displeasure before it reaches a simmering boil?

[Violette]

Not effectively, Dako. I'm unsure of a method to release my anger without affecting those around me.

[Dako]

If they don't know how you feel, they'll assume things are fine.

Right now, you're not giving them a clue about your feeling until they build up.