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I dont really know what to title this so..


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I guess I could say I am an emotional wreck.



I am sick of life.


I just feel so damn hurt right now. Reciently I dated a girl. I really liked her, I almost told her I loved her. She was my first girl, she made me feel so happy. Now its been about a month since it ended and im still always thinking about her. She seemed to have moved on with no regrets or doubts or anything. I found out that she has done some really horrible things that she lied about which really triggered the break up. Im always listening to positive metal and hardcore, and I love it. I always tell myself I cant wait until I go out, im going to meet new friends, possibly a new girl. When I do go out, I feel like a stiff. I cant talk to people cause I get nervious as hell as to what they will think of me. When im out with my other friends, all they talk about is getting with girls, and pressure me into meeting new girls when I really feel like im not over the girl that I thought I loved. I literally see her in EVERY dream. It sucks.


Since then she did some really * * * *ty things and doesnt want to talk to me or see me anymore, which is okay i guess because i know it would just hurt me more probably, but I sit here thinking that I could have prevented the break up, and i wonder what would have happened if we ended up together longer, we were only together for a damn week, and I dont know why I was and am still attached, even knowing everything she has done that literally pushes her four best friends away from her.


I feel so empty. I know that I have to be happy with myself before I can be happy with someone.


Whenever I am out with my friends or family having fun doing something I like, or when im in a good position (which occupys my mind) I feel like I can move on, and that im over this girl. Whenever im home alone, or whenever I am in the car i stare out the window, and think about her. I look around my room right now and wonder what would have happened if i was still with this girl. I look in my back yard when im grilling food and seeing the spot where we camped for a week and i get depressed. I feel so unmotivated, even with my friends and family supporting me somewhat. All they do is tell me that she wasnt worth it, and that there are plenty of girls. I know there are, I tell myself that every day, but it still doesnt take the numbness away. Im trying to get a job so I can afford things and treat myself to some things that I have wanted for a while like a new Bass guitar and a mac book. I figure that the job will also give me some self-confidence, but finding a job sucks, i get really nervious when looking for jobs too, but reciently i have just decided to just do it and get it done. I wish I had this attitude with everything.


I also take everything too personally and think too much about things, example, Someone will say something to me, and instead of letting it blow over, I will sit up and think about it. Help please, I need some advice.

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Darling, you were only with her for a week. I am not downplaying your pain what so ever, so please do not think that. I totally understand you are hurt and confused and kind of lost. But you seem to be a really sweet guy for liking her so much and being able to express your feelings about her, so I am SURE there is a better WOMAN out there for you. I know it is hard right now, but you do need to get out there and surround yourself with good people and eventually a good one will come along, but until then, enjoy the single life!

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