Empty

[Lana0120]

I just feel empty right now. Bad things have been happening in my life, not that they should make me feel this bad, but I do. I have felt today, but during this moment I feel devoid of any emotion whatsoever. Sort of numb and empty. It strikes me, that even though we post here, and say we are friends for each other etc, we're all transients and we're all just empty and looking for something to fill us up. Just having a weird moment and needed to post.

[wester]

Everybody's empty in one way or another. Some talk face-to-face about it, some come to sites like this, some do both, and some just keep it bottled up. It's weird that we all think we're unique, but so many, if not all of us, have this feeling of emptiness to one degree or another. but even if we're just looking to "fill up," that's still a good thing. Talking about it helps us, we can give others some advice, and get another person's perspective on life, relationships, etc. Whatever our motives, we still help each other and ourselves, even if we are transients spread out all over the world.

 

It's OK to feel empty. I get that feeling alot. I think it just goes hand in hand with being alive. i don't think that anyone who really lives lives and examines their life can avoid that feeling. The trick is not to indulge in it. Don't get carried away and abandon yourself to it. I'm not really one to talk, since I get carried away all the time. But I'm trying.

 

Maybe I'm just a rambling transient trying to "fill up" my own emptiness. Who knows. I had to respond to your post cause it has real depth. It resonated with me and how I feel.

[Lana0120]

Thanks for replying wester. I'm sorry you've felt like this too, because it is a horrible feeling. At least you do try not to let it swallow you up too much. I think the best posts are from people who truly do understand how you are feeling - who have been there, done that, worn the t-shirt. No one else has posted, so I guess no one else understands or cares, so thank you for caring too. I think I am now moving past the emptiness and now want to cry for some reason. No reason in particular.

[Lana0120]

I feel nothing again. I can't even cry. I don't know what is wrong with me. Maybe I just need a good night's sleep.

[nightw0lf]

I feel nothing again. I can't even cry. I don't know what is wrong with me. Maybe I just need a good night's sleep.

 

Hey girl, yeah we all feel lonely and empty at times. Although we seem apart in a way isn't it good to know we sharing similar feelings ?

 

Have a cup of coffee, it makes me feel better.

[itsallgrand]

Hey. Nothing is wrong with you. Except, that feeling can be frightening. As my good pal says (and she has to remind me A LOT): Don't freak your self out.

 

It's normal. It can be scary, but it depends how you decide to view it.

It can be liberating too.

 

What's been going on to make you say bad things have been happening?

[Lana0120]

It's nice to share but then again, even this is making me feel like I am nothing. I think I am having a delayed reaction to something that happened earlier. I was fine, acknowledged it and perhaps now it is getting to me, I don't know. Maybe it's a combination of things. I'm sitting here and there are moments of emptiness, like no feeling - nothing, then like I want to cry, but nothing. Dry eyes. I know it'll pass. I can't even have coffee because apparently it'll make my teeth look disgusting once the braces come off. *Sigh*. I will go to bed in a minute. I just hate feeling so empty.

[Lana0120]

Okay folks, I am just going to go to bed because I am too screwed up to post here and I don't want to be another whiner. I just hate myself now. I've had enough of me and seeing myself type this stuff. I am so stupid. I hate it.

[itsallgrand]

Ohhh. That'll do it! Emotionally draining, to say the least.

 

Your emotions might just need a break and some rest to recharge. That sounds like a lot of intense feelings to go through really fast.

 

Sleep is good. Sometimes miraculous what it can do. Have a good sleep, Lana.

[wester]

Crying is completely underrated. It helps alot. I wish I could cry more, cause I always feel a little better afterwards. But coffee helps, too. The caffine always gives me a happy little boost for a while.

 

Your post reminded me of this melancholy poem by A.E. Housman. Actually, all of his poems are melancholy, but this one just sort of captures the feeling of this site and what you posted. To me, it calls to mind the fact that we're only on this planet for too brief a time, and that brevity makes every connection we make deeply important, both for ourselves and the people we connect with (even transients over the internet). Here it is (I hope it isn't too depressing):

 

XXXII. From far, from eve and morning

 

 

FROM far, from eve and morning

And yon twelve-winded sky,

The stuff of life to knit me

Blew hither: here am I.

 

Now—for a breath I tarry 5

Nor yet disperse apart—

Take my hand quick and tell me,

What have you in your heart.

 

Speak now, and I will answer;

How shall I help you, say; 10

Ere to the wind’s twelve quarters

I take my endless way.

 

I get this weird, cosmic feeling of emptiness when I read these lines, like we're all just travelers on some endless journey, and that this life is just one brief stop. It sort of makes the emptiness feel good, like it has some sort of meaning to it.

 

One again, I'm rambling. Hope you all like the poem.

[Hearts]

It's the part being human, everybody does feel that way time to time.

Really at times like this don't over think about it and remind yourself all the negative stuff that can came up to your mind, give yourself sometime and relax, it is just a state of mind which will eventually change.

[Lana0120]

Thanks everyone. Wester - that's a beautiful poem. It isn't depressing imo, it's special. The good news is that I feel a lot better now, but the bad news is that I can't sleep. I lay in bed, first listening to music for 10-15 minutes and it soothed me, so I turned off the light, and lay there for a while thinking until the thoughts seemed OK and I started to feel again but I just can't seem to sleep. I thought I'd come online and post here for a bit until a mega wave of tiredness hits me so I will be guaranteed sleep.