The open hand?

[LBP]

I've been broken up with my ex for about a year now... More or less NC for most of that time, complete NC for the past six months or so... I know I'm over her, to the point where I can imagine her with someone else and feel no unhappiness, look at pictures of her and not feel sad, etc etc. I've been out with other girls and am full of my old self-confidence. Basically, the sad sack I was is no more and the person I am today is much improved from the person I was back then.

 

My ex is now returning from studying for a year overseas and is going to be moving in with three of my best friends. basically, I'd like to be on speaking terms with her at some point in the near future because all though I'm going to be living in a different state, there's a visit or two planned as well as various school related activities which I must address...

 

I haven't attempted contacting her in sometime... I know she wasn't too fond of me at the end of the line though to this day I'm still not sure what I did wrong other than be sad. It seems that whatever damage was done is likely far from irreprible.

 

Basically, I'm asking, how best to open up a dialog? I really want things to not be awkward when I make my visit some time in October or November... Any ideas on how to reopen the door without her thinking (wrongly) that I'm just trying to get back together her? Should I just not worry about it and deal with the situation when it presents itself?

[Lana0120]

I think you should just not worry and deal with it when a situation presents itself. If she happens to be with other friends, for example. I dont think you should go out of your way to contact her, otherwise that might seem like you want to get back together.

[Clabs]

Hey LBP

 

If she is moving in with three of your best friends, there will surely be times when you will naturally meet up in the not too distant future?

 

If that is the case, I think it would be best to wait for this to happen - naturally and just see what happens?

 

Mark

[andy5128]

Agree with others here LBP.. just go with the flow mate.. What happens will happen kinda thing.. Worrying over it or pondering will do you no good even this far down the road..

 

Glad to hear things are good for you.. Well done on your healing mate.. pat on the back from me..

 

Andy

[Clementine orange]

Since she is moving back with some of your close friends then for sure she knows that she will run into you at some point. Likely she is wondering how she will deal with it as well.

Looks like this is the part where you pull out your "cool" card and play it accordingly - and let the chips fall where they may.

[prizmpyxis]

Hi LBP,

 

While I do see what other people are saying about letting the situation unfold, I also do not see a problem with you sending her an email addressing a friendship. In the email, you could just keep it short and sweet...ask how she has been, and explain that you just wanted to touch base with her because you know she will be living with 3 of your best friends and you do not want it to be awkward between you when you make a visit. If you are nice and friendly in the email, I don't see why she would take it the wrong way...or think that you are after her once again. I think that enough time has passed where both of you have moved on, and so I don't really see a problem with contacting her again.

[benga]

Just go with the flow and wait till you meet. It is inevitable.

 

Whether you have healed, moved on and are over it will come to light in a matter of time.

 

Just a caution... Her being with somebody and your being absolutely fine with it.... I would say this is easier said than done.. It is very natural for all those old feelings to come back when you meet her... It happens all the time.. Only meet her, if you are REALLY sure about your feelings...

[LBP]

Even if it does hurt, I think I can deal with it. I'm typically a pretty together person... She was the first person to ever shake my foundations and I'm confident that I will not allow her to do it to me again. And if she gets petty and hurtful, that'll make things easier to let go.

[benga]

Even if it does hurt, I think I can deal with it. I'm typically a pretty together person... She was the first person to ever shake my foundations and I'm confident that I will not allow her to do it to me again. And if she gets petty and hurtful, that'll make things easier to let go.

 

That's awesome buddy!!! Hope your attitude stays this way...

 

All I wanted to do was to caution you... Emotions have a funny way of resurfacing when confronted by an somebody you love or once loved....

 

I met one of my girl friends after nearly 14 years... There was no contact or communication... It was amazing how some of those lovin feelings suddenly came to the surface... I didn't naturally act on any of them...