How can I help her?

[Im Alive]

My best friend's dad died of cancer in the middle of the night. As soon as I found out, I texted her and told her that I loved her and asked if she was okay. She said "not really". I didn't really know what to say except if there was anything I could do.

 

I lost my dad when I was 9, but if anything, I felt relief when he killed himself. He made my life growing up a living hell and barely even frowned when I found out.

 

She was very close to her dad, and I just don't know what to do. I can't imagine losing your dad after 16 years of being with him, and it makes me upset every time I think about it.

 

What can I do for her?

[RayKay]

Just let her know you are there for her whenever she needs you to be; and be there to support her.

 

As someone whom has lost a few loved ones, and of course known many whom have, that is truly the best thing you can do as a friend.

[angelmaria]

There isn't a lot that you can do. Let her cry, scream, throw a fit, hug her and show her love. What ever she needs at the time. Her moods will probably change quickly from sadness and despair to anger and violence...just going from my own experince...but all of those emotions are still only cries for help. Don't say any of the cliches...it will be alright...things will work out...they WON"T help!! SHe knows the sun will come up tomorrow...it just that right now, she probably doesn't want it to. Let her do whatever she needs and just be there...

[Katiekate010]

if you can drive go over there if you cant drive get somebody to take you... she needs you! love her hug her let her cry stay by her side and go to the visatation, funeral anyhing you can do to be there with her

[Catatonic]

Just give her your condolence and support. Having a shoulder to cry on and a sympathetic ear is the best way to help her through it. It depends on the person but she may prefer calling you for support instead of you calling her. Some people like to grieve in private and some don't. Since I don't know her, you're the best judge on what she prefers.

[green-eyes]

What can I do for her?

 

I lost my Dad a couple weeks after my 17th birthday... that was 3 years ago and I can tell you the difference between my 'good' friends and 'bad' friends was the people who were just there for me without any questions or awkwardness. It's so difficult for those around especially at that age because many have not experienced it.

 

All you need to do is say, it's crappy I know it's real bad but I am here no matter what... if you wanna talk, if you want to sit in silence, cry, if you want to go out and have fun and forget about everything for an afternoon or the night whatever but call me if you need me. She might want some space for a while and to just be with her family but she'll need you too...

 

I hope it works out okay and you are strong enough to be there for her. You may not have been close to your Dad when you lost him but it's still a big thing you had to go through so I think you'll do just fine.

 

Remember you don't need to say the 'right' things because those things don't exist. Just BE THERE to give her a hug and wipe away the tears.

[toria]

i totally agree with angelmaria..

 

time is the only grief healer..