Constantly feeling depressed over ex, feeling very used and disrespected

[Garnet]

I dunno what to do, I just keep thinking about it even though its been over 2 years. I regret it sooooo much. He used me, thought of himself, lied all the time and disrespected me. I feel so mad at myself that I went out with him. I constantly feel dirty and sick that I slept with him too, he didn't deserve me at all. What do I do to make myself feel better? ](*,)

[nightw0lf]

I dunno what to do, I just keep thinking about it even though its been over 2 years. I regret it sooooo much. He used me, thought of himself, lied all the time and disrespected me. I feel so mad at myself that I went out with him. I constantly feel dirty and sick that I slept with him too, he didn't deserve me at all. What do I do to make myself feel better? ](*,)

 

Dont ignore the feelings, learn from your mistakes and do not take them into the future. Focus on yourself and focus on what makes you happy. You are whats important now,not him. The only thing he has left of you is thoughts in your mind but you control your mind.

[angelmaria]

We all have one (at least one) of those...what the hell was i thinking...relationships. The only thing that you can do is learn from it. It should allow you to see the red flags as soon as you meet someone new and then you won't fall into that same kind of relationship. i had one once where i was sick with myself as you seem to be...a few years later...me and my girlfriends make fun of eachothers mistakes and it makes for some funny stories having a few beers...it will get better...

[Dako]

Forgive yourself and avoid losers in the future, but don't live in the past.

Some decent guy can raise your expectations.

The future is a better place.

[Garnet]

I do learn from them! Whenever I think about it, I understand all the mistakes I made and what I should have done. I was a different person then, am a lot more confident and stronger now. I also got back together with my first love and he makes me see how much better of a person he is. I love him so much!! I just wish the other 'relationship' didn't happen... I don't like to think hes thinking about me a lot or boasting how he managed to get me into bed or something, even disrespecting me now. I guess I'd kinda like to keep getting him jealous, make him see how much of a good time I'm having and making him wish I was in his life again. O Would that be a good idea?

 

It was definatly a "What the hell was I thinking" kinda relationship, even if I see a picture of him now I feel disgusted and see just how ugly he really is, and I'm like "How on earth did you go out with him????" lol

[Dako]

I

I don't like to think hes thinking about me a lot or boasting how he managed to get me into bed or something, even disrespecting me now. I guess I'd kinda like to keep getting him jealous, make him see how much of a good time I'm having and making him wish I was in his life again. O

 

If he's bragging about scoring with you, he's not impressing anyone.

People get tired of braggarts. Wanting him to feel a certain way gives him power over you.

 

If you really want to deal with him, try indifference.

[Lana0120]

Forgive yourself. You can't change the past, but you can forgive yourself, learn from those mistakes and look to the future. Everyone makes mistakes: the important thing is making sure you don't repeat them. Have a good time, but not to make him jealous. Have a good time for YOU. He is not part of your life anymore and he shouldn't influence what you think, say or do.

[pinkelephant]

I feel you on this one, hun. The important point to remember is that you're not the same person anymore. You're stronger and he doesn't have the power over you NOW.

[starscream]

That's the problem with dating, you just never know what your going to get... or a box of chocolate. There will be relationships where people regret of getting into but that's the past. At least you got out. It's not easy to just stop thinking about it but moving on is a must. It was a mistake and a painful way of learning it so in the future don't repeat it. The best way to move on, find new hobbies that you like, get a dog, or most importantly, someone who will treat you like gold and make you laugh.

[Desiderata]

Garnet you just need to keep trying to look forward. You might still feel dirty or regret what happened with your ex but it only lets you know what to avoid in someone in the future. Instead of being mad at yourself realize that you will find someone so much better for you and be able to forget what happened with someone in your past. You do what you do best and don't worry about him - if you are having a wonderful time in your life then that is all that matters.

[nuttybuddy]

forgiving may be easier than forgetting. i don't think we forget anything until we die. but just because you remember it, doesn't mean you can't forgive it. when you forgive him, i think that's when you will be able to move on and even when you remember it, it won't affect you.

 

it must be hard to forgive, but you will... in time. time heals all things. i regretted my past with a guy too, but after a long time, it didn't bother me anymore. not even when i saw him again. i heard that he still was very into me, but by that time, i was soooo moved on, i could only laugh about him wanting me back.

[Garnet]

Thanks everyone. I am happy and am with an amazing guy as I mentioned before who's my first love! So it's very special but the past tends to rear its ugly head every now and then(literally)... Its just sometimes it effects me when I think about it, and I'm trying to stop that.

 

I'm not sure about whether I can forgive him. But you can't just forgive anyone! To me that doesn't completey settle things anyway. I can't understand how people can just forgive anyone for anything, even if they show no remorse. Some things you just can't get over and accept! But this situation isn't about forgiving, its a case of hugely regretting. Hugely regretting the way I was like then and hugely regretting being with him. Biggest regret of my life. I know I can't forget it, but I really don't think forgiving him for anything will make it not effect me. Because I'm a part of the problem, as I went out with this freak.

 

I think he still fancies me too(even though he has a "gf"), and to be honest that doesn't surprise me knowing him, so predictable.