The girl or personal experience?

[Onigiri]

Hi. I need help.

 

I live in a Japan. I live in a pretty boring city... but I have a girlfriend here. We've been dating for about half a year. I like her a lot and we get along great. The problem is that my company offered to move me to a new, more exciting city about 900 miles away.

 

I'll probably be in Japan another year or two. Should I take the opportunity to live in the new city? The personal experience would be great. Or develop a closer bond with my current girlfriend?

 

If I move, that means I would have to break up with her. No LDR's for me.

 

HELP!

[Gath]

Hi. I need help.

 

I live in a Japan. I live in a pretty boring city... but I have a girlfriend here. We've been dating for about half a year. I like her a lot and we get along great. The problem is that my company offered to move me to a new, more exciting city about 900 miles away.

 

I'll probably be in Japan another year or two. Should I take the opportunity to live in the new city? The personal experience would be great. Or develop a closer bond with my current girlfriend?

 

If I move, that means I would have to break up with her. No LDR's for me.

 

HELP!

 

you've already figured out your choices, so i'm not sure what you're asking. It's time to pick, her or your job.

[nightw0lf]

Hi. I need help.

 

I live in a Japan. I live in a pretty boring city... but I have a girlfriend here. We've been dating for about half a year. I like her a lot and we get along great. The problem is that my company offered to move me to a new, more exciting city about 900 miles away.

 

I'll probably be in Japan another year or two. Should I take the opportunity to live in the new city? The personal experience would be great. Or develop a closer bond with my current girlfriend?

 

If I move, that means I would have to break up with her. No LDR's for me.

 

HELP!

 

 

Yep, its a personal choice. Your personal life or your career ? I take it you werent raised in Japan so the reason you there is for work so i would continue with that.

[prizmpyxis]

Hi Oni,

 

This is a very personal decision, and as much as one of us would probably like to make it for you...we can't. You need to decide what is more important to you right now, or if both are equally important. You pretty much have said that you can't do both, but have you ever considered it? LDR's are tough and not for everyone, but if both are equally important to you, that might be something you want to think about a little more.

[itsallgrand]

I wouldn't drop a big opportunity for a guy I like a lot.

 

But if you see a future with her, then the decision might be more difficult.

 

Weigh out what you have to gain and what you have to lose by taking each approach. Then, run with it full force.

 

Did you mention to the gf the new opportunity? How did she react?

[annie24]

how about if she moves with you? is that possible? and why no to the long distance relationship? yes, I understand that they are very difficult, but if you will be making enough money, maybe flying back would be good. how long have you been dating your gf? if it has been 2 months, I would not advice you to stay. If it has been years, I would ask why you haven't proposed yet....

[Beec]

Do you see yourself with this woman, married in ten years? If not, break it off and take the other job. Simple answer, you are only prolonging the day when you will break up if you do not see the two of you together for life.

 

If you can imagine the two of you together, think of the cirucmstances. IN Japan? Would you stay there and continue to live there for the rest fo your life? If not, would she move from Japan and live someplace else with you? Without agreement, same answer.

 

In the end, I think you reach that answer anyway. If she was that important to you, you would not be asking the question, would you?

[Onigiri]

Thanks for the responses everyone~

 

Annie: It's been 6 months. And I've done LDRs before - they're not for me.

 

To clarify: the jobs are exactly the same. They're just placed in a different city. Same salary, same position, same everything pretty much -- just different city. I came to Japan for the experience (traveling, not dating) -- my mind tells me to take the offer, but my heart tells me to stay.

 

Things aren't always so easy as they seem...

[annie24]

I think beec has a very good point - do you see a long-term future there? 6 months is kind of a strange time - enough that you like her, but may not be sure if it is forever yet or not.

 

I know a person who was offered a great job several hours away. My friend was about to take the job (and had officially taken it), but then reconsidered when his gf told him she didn't want to move anymore. They were going through rocky times anyways. He didn't take the job, and then a few months later, they broke up. sheesh.

 

How does your gf feel about this?

 

And what does your gut instinct say?

 

And if you came to japan to travel, do you think you can maybe accomplish that without getting a new job? ie, why not travel around Japan on the weekends or during a few days vacation time?

 

What are your career goals? short term? long term? If this new job doesn't get you to your long-term career goals, and all it is is a new location, sans gf, is it worth it to you?

 

sorry for all these questions, but am trying to help you sort things out