Stupid facebook and stupid men

[mintblossom]

I just have to rant here for a second. Stupid "bf". Sometimes he just pisses me off. So stupid. I think I may have posted here a few days ago about how I got REALLY REALLY MAD at him because he told me that his ex was in some club that I wanted to join and that he had called her a month or so ago to try and meet up with her. And I was so incredibly angry at him for not telling me that his ex was very recent and only from april. I wouldn't have continued going out with/talking to him if I had known it was so recent because I HATE it when men have emotional baggage. They need to stay away from me until all that @#$@# is done and they have NO feelings or boundary violations concerning exes because I hate that sort of stuff.

 

First of all, I don't want to know anything about her. I don't care about her. I like myself better, I'm prettier, thinner, smarter and have a better personality and frankly, kind of disappointed in the type of girl he picked before. I mean, it makes me wonder about his taste because I find her very unattractive and that's why I never suspected she was an ex in the first place. Second of all, have the common sense NOT to mention your exes to me when I didn't ask. Third of all, don't imply you may still have feelings for her whether it's feelings of friendship or you didn't get enough closure or whatever. I DONT WANT TO HEAR IT BECAUSE IT MAKES ME FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE, INSECURE, and IT MAKES ME WANT TO LEAVE.

 

We barely got over that fight, and now I look at his facebook and he has a PICTURE of HIM AND HER HUGGING AND THEY ARE BARELY WEARING CLOTHES AT A THEME PARTY.

 

How stupid is he? I mean, we already had a fight and I don't want to bring this up again with him. But seriously, I'm starting to think he's an idiot. It just makes me lose respect because it might be his past, but when it's staring me in the face, that freaking pisses me off so bad.

 

I hate hearing about exes. I don't want to know about them. I don't want to see pictures of them with you. YOU ARE AN IDIOT!

 

Just had to vent. And if you're a man, please don't be stupid enough to keep up pictures of your ex when you have a new girl. ARGH!@$@!$@#$

 

He's told me he doesn't have feelings for her anymore and that is a big part of why we got over the fight. But seriously, UGH. STUPID PICTURE.

 

I don't think I want to get any closer to him now. I need more space and distance. It's such a huge turnoff.

 

Oh and yeah yeah, he has a few pictures on there so he may have forgotten about this one but i'm still disgusted and turned off.

[Lana0120]

I can understand why you're upset about this. It sounds like there are still issues with this guy and his ex-girlfriend and that he didn't come entirely clean with you. As for the photos - that does depend on when he put them there. Just take your time and have some space and see how you feel. On a side note - it seems to me like myspace and facebook have a lot to answer for with the problems and doubts that people seem to have in their relationships because of these kinds of things!

[EvaGina]

It sounds to me like he isnt the one who has to let go of baggage.

People are allowed to be friends with their ex's, they are also allowed to have their own tastes in the opposite sex. He might prefer girls who arent that skinny.

 

I can understand why you may be upset, but he didnt really do enough to make you so angry. You arent being either fair, nor logical.

[eleanorrigby1]

I hate facebook!! have had a few rows with my boyfriend over it myself. Firstly I called him an idiot for telling me too much about his past to begin with because then I wouldnt have been so jealous!

 

He felt is necssary to tell me the FULL name of the first girl he snogged, slept with and the first girl he fell inlove with. All of these girls are on Facebook, the girl he first snogged is how his 'friend' on there and so is another girl that i know he had a massive crush on in school. I ended up becoming an obsessed freak on facebook, making up profiles so i could search for his ex, found her, i then began checking his profile on a daily basis to see if she had been added as a friend (he isnt that stupid!)

 

I told him that if i didnt know so much information i wouldnt have batted an eyelid at seeing girls from his school added as friends.

 

jealousy is a horrible emotion anyway and when a man contributes to it by being thoughtless i get cross too.

 

i was nodding reading your post because I agree with everything you have said.

 

I agree that your issue is a little stronger than mine because of the whole ex girlfriend and the picture, i would want to know why he felt he needed to post that picture and why he has added her as a friend knowing how you feel.

 

Be careful that you arent his rebound or the tool with which he gets his ex back, because i have been that in the past and it hurts a lot! otherwise known as rebound jealousy buffer..

 

private message me anytime you wanna vent! xxxx

[Medguy8311]

Lets all get this Facebook issue into perspective here! The bottom line about this is how much do your trust your SO when it comes to (what is effectively) a "closed" friends forum? (i.e. you need a password to get in) So your guy has lots of female friends on his FB. Some of them may even be ex's who he has remained friends with. So what? Do you trust him or not?

 

I have a gf who is not at all keen on FB. I have a lot of female friends on there (I have a lot of female friends in general) and sure, some of them are very pretty. For some reason she is very insecure about the idea that I could be in contact with these friends on such a website, and frankly I don't understand it. Its not some secret club for trying to hook a new woman! At least not for those of us that are honest.

 

Sorry if it seems I am ranting, and I am not attacking anyone in particular by posting this, its just that things like FB exemplify the need for trust between one and another, or the lack there of. In my gf's case, I tell her that she is the ONLY one I am interested in and my female friends, be them ex's or not, are just friends and will only ever remain so.

[Thunderforce]

Mintblossom I second Eva's post!! Did you ever meet/ talk with his ex because truly you are saying some very mean things about her ... and she doesn't deserve that only because your boyfriend had a romantic interest in her before. That jealousy not love!

An ex is an ex for an reason, better accept that people while growing older have experiences and positive/ negative bagage (just a way of interpretation).

 

With this attitude you will become an ex 2 sooner or later. So you better change your view!

[yeoshe]

Whoa...lots of anger on that post. I think its always good to know about the ex and the things happened between them. Gives you an idea of what he likes and what worked and didn't work for him.

 

Second, don't blame the guy for not mentioning how recent was his last breakup...isn't it your fault too that you never cared to ask?

 

B!tc#ing about his ex won't make you an even more attractive person in his eyes. If he's having a hard time moving on, help him (if you really like him)...make him forget...show him that you're a better person.

[Thunderforce]

Want to share a story with you, makes you hopefully rethink your attitude:

 

Two Wolves

 

 

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a

battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son,

The battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all.

 

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret,

greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment

Inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.

 

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope,

serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence,

empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

 

The grandson thought about it for a minute

and then asked his grandfather,

 

"Which wolf wins?"

 

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

[dystopiandream]

Want to share a story with you, makes you hopefully rethink your attitude:

 

Two Wolves

 

 

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a

battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son,

The battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all.

 

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret,

greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment

Inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.

 

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope,

serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence,

empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

 

The grandson thought about it for a minute

and then asked his grandfather,

 

"Which wolf wins?"

 

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

 

I just had to say that I really loved reading this, thanks for sharing

[Alex Kidd]

Yep, Thuderforce, that was so good I'm going to steal it

 

But do agree with the original post: unsolicited info concerning exes is not necessary. Her anger? Who knows? Such things are relative.