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In July I met this guy and we started going on a few dates. He was really nice and I liked him. THe thing is during the past month I was unsure whether there was anything going on between us ie does he see me as a friend or as a girlfriend. THen one night we started making out so I thought this guy does like me.

Then last week I stayed over at his place and I think you can guess what happened. We then started talking about us. I was still unsure. Were we gf and bf? We didnt hold hands in public etc. He said he was going to move overseas after uni but then who know, things may change. He said he just broke up with his ex in June! I was shocked. He said when he asked me out, it was only as friends, not as a 'date'. He said he thinks other ppl dont need to know if we're in a relationship.

So after our confusing conversation I turned to my friends for advice. They said that I should not start anything with him, guys say that they'll stay but then end up moving and breaking your heart (which happened to one of my friends). They said maybe he wants to appear single which is why he doesnt tell his friends that 'this is my gf'.

I was still confused. So I met up with him that night and we talked things through. He said that he was not ready for a relationship bc he just broke up with his ex. He didnt know where he was heading and there was a possibility that he would be moving overseas. Also he said that he couldnt see himself settling down for at least 5 yrs, whereas I would like to settle down soon. When I think through, he is right, why end up falling in love with this guy then get my heart broken in 2 yrs time (Although some long distance relationships do work), when I could end up finding a potential partner. I dont want to wait around for something that might not happen.

He wants to remain good friends with me and hopes that we will still be able to see each other as friends. Should I? He knows I like him. What if I fall for him?

So after a few days thinking this through I think that I was the 'rebound girl'. Is this correct?

Also we already planned to go on a holiday with him and his friends this weekend. Hopefully I cope well. I mean I wasnt in love with him.

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You obviously like him but he doesn't like you the same... I think you are a rebound, sorry to say. In this case, esp. since he's going overseas, I would promptly say 'next'... and indeed I did in the past when I found out a guy just wanted me for rebound sex.. I have more respect than that.

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sometimes people don't intentionally expect you to be the rebound, dont be to harsh on him, dont always assume that peopple mean to hurt you because i dont believe that with the way he has been, honest and open.


it sounds like he liked/likes you, he fancied you if he slept with you but then he got a bit scared and realised that he isnt over his ex, he is considering moving aaway, he has a lot of emotional stuff to deal with, isnt ready to settle down and wants to move on after a breakup.


Im sorry to say you probably came along at the wrong time. It has happened to me in the past and i stuck around for months and months and fell inlove and then got my heart broken. You are lucky that he is being honest with you from the start. Dont be someone he gets to sleep with witout committing to, end it now honey and move on.


good luck xx

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