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stay or leave? confused...


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Hi All,


This is my first post here, I am terribly confused and not sure what to do.

Let me start from the beginning.

In March this year I met this girl who was attracted to me and I thought she was just ok. As time went on I found that we clicked really well and I thought she was the one... her personality and mine just went hand in hand... we started speaking everyday on the phone and got closer and closer seeing each other on the weekends... I would go past after work just to see her etc. First issue we had tho... is her best friend for 5years (girl) warned her about me, telling her stay away, that I am bad news, because I had a bad past of hooking up with girls but never wanting a relationship, back in my school days... (however I am 21 now, she is 18. Result was she wanted to find out who I was for me, and her best friend stopped speaking to her because of it, and pushed her away, and her other close friend with her, so now she lost 2 friends, and stuck with me, a guy who she just met, seems 'perfect' to her but shouldn't trust me because of what people have said to her. Anyways I stuck around and showed her that I was for real and not going to screw her around... thing was... after 2months of this showing and growing with her, she told me about this other guy she was seeing before me, who she wasn't sure if she wanted to be with 6 months before, but said she really confused and didnt want a full relationship with me and just to be friends so she couldnt jeapodise anything with this guy. Initially I told her to p' off and we didn't speak for a week... She came back running saying how much she missed me and we ended up talking again, just as friends... she wouldn't kiss me. This guy took her for an emotional ride, as we 'battled'. My 21st birthdays were coming up and I wanted her there, she wanted to come, but he didnt want her going with some random guy that he didn't know.... Especially because he knew we spoke every night\day. Anyways she came to the 21sts and we hooked up here and ther eand after that too... however this guy screwed her around emotionally and just used to say things to her and never went to see her just played with her emotions...

This happened for about 3 months and I was always there for her emotionally support on, but at the same time I was growing more and more attached to her and her to me. 3 weeks ago, she had a big argument with this guy and they stopped everything, he made it clear he wanted just friendship and yeah. I didn't want to persue anything with her after this because she was really hurt... however she wanted to see me everyday for lunch and on the weekends... but was hot and cold with me, sometimes she wanted to kiss me sometimes not.... sometimes she wanted to just talk to me, sometimes she wanted her distance and jsut be with her friends... she started speaking to this guy again last week. But just assures me that its a sms message here and there every now and again... I am pretty p off about this... but the main reason of my confusion was that she wants to be with me all the time, and wants all my time to her... but not a relationship... so I am confused... but my main confusion now is, on the weekend, she had a birthday party to go to with some of her old friends... and she got dressed up looking hot(which I helped with the dress shopping etc.).. she knew an old flame that played her around years ago was going to be there and she wanted to make him burn. Thing was, at this party she ended up getting very drunk... I told her to call me during the night, she didnt. I tried calling her during the night, she didn't answer.. until the 6th phone call... saying the phone was in her bag, shes sorry.. but she was busy and call me back later. I sent her an sms p'd off saying not to call me back.. ever. She just sent a reply saying whats my problem...?.. She then called me about 4:00am that nightsaying she just got home... and starting crying saying she hooked up with this old flame, by accidently and sorely regrets it, and I told her not to call me or message me again, that we are done. The next day she msged saying she will call me that night because she really needs to talk to me... she called.. I didnt answer up until the 4th phone call.... and we spoke about it... saying she was drunk didnt know what came over her, she knows it was a mistake shes extremely sorry and regrets it, if she could change it she could.. this and that.. that im the only guy she feels comfortable with and wants... she doesnt feel nothing for this guy or the one that was playing around with her for a bit before me... she was calling herself a idiot bla bla bla...

What should I do.... I told her not to call me and I need time to think... she cried again... and sent me a text later saying if I really wanted her gone, she would leave me alone.. but would of fallen inlove with me...

I didnt reply. but I am confused and hurt...


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Bleh. I don't like the way she treats you. YOU shouldn't like the way she treats you. Bleh. She is bad news.


Nobody gets drunk and just makes out with someone else. Alcohol just lowers your inhibitions to do what you really wanted to do in the first place. I think she gave you such a lame excuse.


And what is up with the jerking you around in the first place? This type of girl gives all other girls a bad name. Bleh.

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Basically it seems she loves you madly until she remembers a previous guy, then she falls madly for that one and when the novelty is gone she moves on to a new one or to the first. She likes to be in relationships only when she feels like it and couldn't care less about what the other person wants or needs.


She's probably only after the excitement of starting things and having a person all the time giving her attention without having to give anything in return by using any kind of excuse like other males, ex friends or emotional trauma.


I think you should stick to your original decision of cutting ties and telling her not to call, what's more, if she calls don't answer and avoid talking to her again.

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