We broke up almost 2 years ago, I still can't move on.

[tired and sleepless]

The title pretty much sums up my dilema. Him and I (the ex and I) spent the whole night talking about it. I do not harbour any hopes of getting back together, because I was horrible when we were together, it even surprised me that he choose to stay friends.

 

Right now I'm even in a relationship with a great guy, we've been together for over a year. I was friends with my bf first, so he knows how I feel about my ex. I don't think it's being fair to him, but at least I'm honest. And i can honestly say that I love my bf.

 

But the thing is that I'm such a different person now, and I can't get over wondering what would have happened with my ex if I had just come to my senses earlier. I also can't get over the feeling of rejection. We had been together for over 2 years and I was deeply in love, in a way I will always love him.

 

I do not know if I should stay friends with the ex. I do not have very many friends because I get very shy around new people. But I hate feeling jealous of girls he likes, and I don't understand why I do it. I love my bf far more than anything I still feel for the ex.

 

I've been beating myself up about being a horrible person all day long now, I just need to hear any thoughts about this. Even if they just say that I don't appreciate what I have.

 

By the way, I'm 19yrs old and female.

[hollygolightly]

There is nothing you can do now but learn from this.

 

I was in your shoes once, I had this fabolous bf, which I treated very badly. After we broke up, I realized it and wanted him so badly. Of course he said not.

 

It took me a LONG time to get over it, and what burn the most was my regrets. But, you have to search deep and learn and grow from it.

 

Don't let the past repeat itself. If you are still this hung up on your last bf, its not fair for this new guy. You need to start thinking about him now. What do you want? Do you need sometime to get over the ex? If so, you gotta do the right thing with this new bf.

 

If you are this hung out with your ex, the best thing to do is to keep a distance. You will never be over it until you had time to deal with it on your OWN.

 

Lots of luck luv!

[tired and sleepless]

Thank you so much for understanding and replying.

 

I think you are very right about the needing space, because even though we broke up almost two years ago we had no space in between relationship to friendship. The DAY after we broke up we drove to a bigg city nearby to hang out and spend the day "as friends." He tells me that if I had been the way I am now, our relationship definitely would have worked.

 

As for the "new" bf, as I said...we've already been together for over a year, and we were very close friends before that. I love my bf far more than any feeling I have lingering over my ex. I just feel guilty over the jealousy I feel when my ex talks about other girls.

 

Wow.....it is such a relief to have finally gotten some of this out, it's been bothering me for so long.

[hollygolightly]

There you go! Talking about stuff does make things seem a little better don't it?!

 

And btw, its only natural to feel jelous of your ex new love interest. Just, don' obsess to much over it. This might hurt your current bf feelings.