If you have a bf or gf, do you ever fantasize about someone else?

[herewegoagain]

Just curious - especially the women out there WITH a BF - do you ever fantasize about another man when you masturbate?

 

Just wondering because in your opinions out there, is it wrong to fantasize about someone else if you are in a relationship?

 

Is that "cheating"? For example, since I have a gf, would it be wrong to fantasize about some other woman?

[barbielovesmac]

Well this is just my opinion. Before my ex and I broke up we had a talk about this and we both very much agreed that you might as well be cheating. So I personally think it's wrong. But to each their own.

 

Im sure your gf wouldn't like that you are fantasizing and masturbating to other women or would she???

 

Boyfriend or not, I've never even fanatasized about another man or used porn while masturbating. Weird I know, but true.

[ElektraHere]

I have never fantasized my guy was another guy. My attention is with him and only him. The only time is when role playing then I am a different person and he is a different person.

[JadedStar]

I"ve never done it but I'd be pretty willing to bet that many people do. And since we can't control our partner's thoughts, I am not sure anything can be done about it.

 

it would be disturbing to here for sure, so it is not something anyone would own up to.

[sharsachan]

i have never intentionally done it. i cant control my dreams and i recently had a very erotic one about someone other than my husband that i felt bad about once i woke up, but when i'm awake and conscious of my thoughts, they never wander past my husband.

[PitterPatter99]

Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, you just can't help it. It's not as if you're deliberately doing it. We all have thoughts that enter our minds at inopportune times

[melrich]

Certainly consciously I don't. I'll notice good looking people and acknowledge that to myself but I don't consciously fantasise about being with them or anything. I guess in my dreams I might but I rarely remember those.

[ElektraHere]

^ Melrich your new bride is a beauty for sure!! ;-)

[Dako]

Sure, I fantasize about Ingrid Bergman, but she knows I'd never cross that line.

[melrich]

^ Melrich your new bride is a beauty for sure!!

 

Oh thanks Elektra! Yeah i quite like her!!

[Tethys]

Melrich, I echo Elektra's sentiments.

 

There are men I find handsome, sexy, what have you, but I don't fantasize about them during sex or masturbation. It may be corny, but I do seem to have eyes only for my boyfriend.

 

But, even if I did fantasize, I do NOT think that is cheating. People are going to fantasize, especially if you have been with the same person for a long, long time. To expect them to be faithful is one thing, but to expect them to be faithful even in their THOUGHTS is another. I think that is asking too much.

[Hackuuna Matata]

But, even if I did fantasize, I do NOT think that is cheating. People are going to fantasize, especially if you have been with the same person for a long, long time. To expect them to be faithful is one thing, but to expect them to be faithful even in their THOUGHTS is another. I think that is asking too much.

It's an interesting point that you bring up. I remember in a different forum this very question came up and it seemed (at least in that forum) that the men were saying "of course I am going to fantasize about other women during sex, it's the way men are programmed!" while the women were saying "heck no! And these comments from the guys disturb me greatly!"

 

Granted that forum was filled with mostly married or LTR people, but I did find it interesting that one married man insisted that any guy saying he doesn't fantasize about other women during sex is lying or extremely rare (or, as he put it, the only guy on earth). I havn't been with my current GF for very long so I can't really say from that perspective, but currently I don't think of anyone else during sex/masturbation. If it became clear that my partner or I was *always* fantasizing about others during sex/masturbation, I don't think I'd pursue the relationship any further.

[fmjosie]

yes, it's healthy to think about other men while a girl is in a relationship.

 

NO, it's NOT cheating for you to think about other women!!!!

[-Ophelia-]

Not for me.

 

And I'd be insulted if I found out that my SO is having conscious sexual fantasies about other women; it'll totally make me feel inadequate.

[lizziebee]

Believe it or not, I fantasize about my bf even when we are having sex! Also, when I do myself!

[fmjosie]

ophelia, I'm guessing your bf is also not allowed to watch porn??? poor guy.

[Miss Firecracker]

Believe it or not, I fantasize about my bf even when we are having sex! Also, when I do myself!

 

I do the same thing. I could choose to fantasize about other men, but honestly, I don't even consider it.

 

I made an exception once when I was really angry. LOL

[toribee2]

Personally, and I know this is going to sound weird, but when I masterbate, all of the people in my fantasies are headless. I don't mean headless in that they have no heads, but like they were in a video and their head is just out of frame. I don't ever fantasize about anyone imparticular, just body types. I guess their faces aren't really what I'm interested in, now is it? hehe.

 

Great. Now you all think I'm a freak. Well... um... yeah.

[-Ophelia-]

ophelia, I'm guessing your bf is also not allowed to watch porn??? poor guy.

 

You almost guessed right.

 

It’s not that he is not allowed to watch porn, he’s not a porn kind of guy.

 

If he was a porn kind of guy, then it would be a deal-breaker for me.

 

Now, I won’t try to get back at your “poor guy” comment and try to defend our relationship and prove to you that we are a happy couple, etc etc.

 

But I do have a question for you: Are you totally ok with your guy watching thousands of nude women, fantasizing about them and sexually gratifying himself over that?

 

Waiting for your answer.

[MandM]

Now now, play nice ladies.

 

I'd personally have to say, yes I do fantasize about other women, but not intentionally...For example, in a dream...I can't control them...sadly...

 

But no, I don't think about other woman except for my gf when I masturbate, cause she's simply the most beautiful and sexy woman I've ever laid my eyes on...and I love her. To me, that just makes every fantasy come true.

 

--M--

 

(please, don't call me a dork >_