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Is there still a chance here??


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This is a pretty long message, so make sure that you have a seat before reading this. For the past year you know that I have been in a wonderful and happy relationship with that guy Will who is like my best friend. He is leaving here in May and I am leaving in August. We both sat down 6 months ago and decided that we would both go to the same area(about 2 hours apart driving). You know that I am transferring to one year of sea duty, which will make it difficult to see each other every weekend. He is transferring to a normal desk job(8-4) Nonetheless, we wanted to stay together. For Thanksgiving, he left for the states and told his family about me and I know this was a big thing for him. When he returned, things between us were a million times better(We didn't have any problems before he left). We had a wonderful holidays together and this past week I did some things that might have doubted his feelings for me(trust issues). What happened was that for New Year's we met a group of friends for dinner and drinks. I ended up running into a female friend of mine and she wanted to introduce me to some of here friends(including guys). So, I left my him at the table and without realizing it spent hours having drinks and flirting with some of her friends. I don't know if he saw this but I pretty much ignored him that night. When it was time to go home, I picked a fight with him and went back to the bar. After an hour I had realized what I did and went home and apologized to him and told him that I didn't realize what I was doing. Boyce, I truly didn't mean to do it. He said that he accepted my apology and that we should put this behind us and move on because of how strong our relationship is. Three days later, he called me after work and said he missed me and wanted me to come home to spend time with him. He sounded like he had a rough day but I didn't put much thought into it about it at the time. Instead of coming straight home I had bumped into and old friend, who happens to be a guy and we had coffee. Went I went home an hour and a half later, he was angry and told me that he needed me and I wasn't there for him. He said I was here waiting for you and was jealous and said that he didn't even know anything about this guy and why I didn't call him to tell him that I was going to be home late.(I've met all his female friends) I tried to comfort him and tell him that I would never jeopardize our relationship and that I love him. Well, for the rest off the evening he was still angry with me so I decided I would let him cool off. The following morning when we woke up, he explained to me that he had some trust issues in the past with other girls and that now he is doubting our relationship and doesn't feel good about us being together. He explained that he wanted to break up and wanted to remain just friends. He said that he is not sure if I am the woman that he wants to marry because in a few years he indeed wants to get married and it is better to end it now before the relationship progresses. He explained that he had been thinking about this only recently but that things have been happened that made him realize this was the day to say something to me. He also said that he was unsure of our future and that he was scared of what might happen in the states. I cried and begged him not to do this and he said now he's not sure if he can give me a commitment in the states(wait for me if I do a cruise). I am so confused because for Christmas he gave me this beautiful card with diamond earrings that talked about the future and told me how happy he was with me and how glad he is that I shared my life with his. I asked him about this and he said that he did mean everything he said but that now he is confused. I know that he is happy because I see it in his face and how we are when we are together. There were no signs and he ever distanced himself from me. You know how it is when a guy doesn't want to be with a girl he will hang out with his guy friends and stuff but he never did this. All of his friends are single and when they call he would say no, I want to hang out with my girlfriend. I truly feel sorry for what happened on New Year's but I would never cheat on him. For instance, last Tues my phone was off because my battery went dead and he called me and sent me a message but I didn't get it till the next day. He called me the following morning and asked (nicely) where I was last night and he made a comment jokingly about maybe me being over a guys house and turning my phone off. I am so afraid that I lost him for good and truly believe that he is the one for me. I am willing to be patient and see how things go but now I feel like maybe he doesn't love me anymore. I apologized to him and told him to not do this and that we should remain together but he said his mind was made up. My ego is really hurt because now I feel like I am not good enough for him. This just happened a few days ago and he has called me twice since. We agreed to meet to pick up my things and he said that he would make dinner for me and we would talk. He called last night to say that he was thinking about me and wanted to hear my voice. We have met since and he said that he wants to remain friends and that our friendship is very important to him and that he still loves me but that he needs to make this decision for us. He said he still wants me to be in his life but that he cannot make any promises while we are here overseas. What should I do??? Did he break up with me because of what I did or he is having doubts about me as a person?? Do you think if we don't get back together here that we might in the states?? I need your help!!!

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