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"Insane and obsessed!, how do I win her over!?"

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Hi all,

Now there's this girl at work who I've been into for months now , I just CAN NOT get her out of my mind. Now I know she has a boyfriend (I asked her out like 2 months ago and she said she has a b/f) but.... I just want to get to know her on a friends basis for now.


The thing is I have very few chances to talk to her since she works in a different department, and I'm starting to go become EXTREMELY frustrated. I mean today for example I had a very small chat just as I was finishing work and she was waiting to punch the clock to start work.

I see her and the conversation goes something like;


ME: Hello

Her: Hello

ME: (smiling) Hey did you get a haircut? It looks good.

Her: (smiling) Yeah, It was time for a change.

Me: Seeya later then (I clocked off)

Her: yeah seeya


Now my huge problem is that it takes me quitle a while to feel comfortable around people. I seem uptight when people first meet me, I can't relax straight away. Well I guess I just want to know, how do I become friends with her??? Seriously she's on my mind 24/7 and I'm starting to lose the plot. Agggh!


What else should I say??? Should I dish out more compliments?(she didn't say thanks when I commented about her new haircut) We rarely bump into each other and have a chance to talk I'm going crazy!! I even looked her up in the phone book and I know where she lives, I don't want to become some sort of stalker, help!


P.S. She's 17 and I'm 20. If it helps....

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It sounds like you want to be friends with her simply so you have leeway to get things to go further. If you truly have feelings for the girl, respect the fact that she is in a relationship and try find someone else. From the conversation you wrote it seems like she is letting you know she isn't interested... Move on before it becomes an unhealthy obsession.


Everyone has their perfect match out there somewhere, do you want to miss out on finding her if you are caught up chasing a girl that is already in a relationship and not interested? Think of the happiness you are missing out on and the pain you are setting yourself up for before you try taking things further....


But, eh that's just my opinion. Whatever you decide, good luck.

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Hey I feel for u mate it’s a tough situation, but see the thing is that how well do you really know her I mean u said that u hardly get a chance to talk to her and interact with her ;


The fact that she has a boyfriend is not going to make her interested in you (sorry mate) cause she has feelings for someone else; hey its just sheer bad luck the way I look at it , it can happen to anyone


The thing is do not get involved in this fantasy because that’s all its gonna be ; we sometimes make things up in our own head about people and then derive emotions for them, this is very unhealthy


According to me you can handle it in two ways use real time psychology like tel l urself hey I did the best I could so its not my fault but just bad luck IT COULD HAPPEN TO ANYONE


The thing is that you are not being fair to yourself by acting in this manner of looking up her no and finding out where she lives ; when you do stuff like this u put unnecessary pressure on yourself and just make up a more out of it then there really is


Also look at it logically ..u ask girl she says sorry I have a boyfriend ..story over ..forget about that angle now no point ..


The thing you can do is be good friends with her , and get to know her slowly and then if she breaks up with her boyfriend or has a change of mind then u you will be there for her !


Good luck


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Hey. I'm not sure about how you feel but perhaps this isn't good. I'd really recommend you to take a break from her, if you still want 2 truly be friends, there's always later. I'M NOT SAYING YOU'RE A STALKER i'm just sayingt that perhaps you're a little too infatuated with her and you might not see things as clearly...


If its really not as serious as it sounds then just give it sometime, don't rush her I mean she's already rejected you so she'll feel a bit nervous around you too, through time, it'll get better.


Just talk about anything and move the convo along, common interests often help like music, movies and if its too hard, just something around you or that's recently happened...link everything together etc.


I know I'm not helping too much but I'm having so much troubles of my own right now and helping others is maybe not the best thing to do right now...


Happy Heb

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