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best friend is dying


Senna
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This has been the worst year on record for me, most of my life l've just sailed through life without any problems and now l'm finding myself having to deal with things l hoped l never would.

 

Firstly my girlfriend of five years finished with me about 3 months ago (still not really dealing with that one) and now my best friend my only friend has told me she has cancer and only has months to live the only two people outside my family l ever cared about have left or are leaving.

l've always been really shy so l've never met many people but those two were the only people l ever wanted to be with always now there both gone.

 

l know l must go out and start again but why has it happened all at once maybe l'm making a big thing of this as it's not me going through the cancer but she was my best friend and l haven't been able to tell anyone about how upset l am because if l do that it feels like it really is happening for real.

 

lt's strange how things just change over night last year l was with my ex and my best friend and her girlfriend perfict foursom and now it's just all fallen apart. sorry if l'm going on but this place really helps sometimes

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oh no senna! im SO SO sorry! i cannot possible understand how your feeling right now! i also have a bestfriend, and have had thoughts about her dying before, which have made me go insane! i cant possible imagine what its like to go through for real!

 

honey, i know life really does look bad right now. i wish that i could just say something to make it all go away! i know i have felt the same where im just looking for that quick fix and i'll be right again! the only thing i feel i can say is that things will get better. it cant possible stay this way forever. i know its gonna be really hard for you, and will be for a while, but you will recover in time.

 

i feel that you dont want to face whats happening and by denying it or just forgetting, will ultimately make it disappear.......i wish you could do that to. the truth is coming to terms with it now will make it alot easier for you to face later on. one time when your all alone, just observe everything, come to terms with it, and if you can try and accept that this is the way things will have to be. all of it IS happening for a reason. what reason, i do not know, but god always has a plan

 

babe just hang in there ok! dont give up on yourself or those around you. we are all here for you, praying for you to feel better. if you need more help, or just want to talk you can pm me or just message on the board.

 

please take care!! you are not alone in this!

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Hello there,

I am sorry to hear about your friend, I hope that she can at least pass with little to no pain and her suffering will be as small as can be hoped for. I am also sorry to hear of your break up.

 

Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom in order for us to see the real gifts we have in our life. I know what you are going through. I hit rock bottom back in December. To give a short summary: I lost my mom to cancer, my job, my boyfriend, my grandfather to a heart attack, and had to move back home. It was a low point, but it taught me a lot.

 

I know it doesn't seem like you have anything to learn from this, and you probably think I'm just giving you a "it's going to get better" speech. Well, it's not going to get better. You have to MAKE it get better. It's going to hurt when your friend dies, and you need to feel that pain, and let it out. I realize you have issues talking to people about it because it makes the situation more real, but you have to start accepting this now, because it does make it easier when the event does occur. We knew my mom had two months to live, and in those two months I learned to accept the idea that there was no hope for her survival. It's not like the pain magically went away, but it did ease it somewhat, as I could begin grieving early on.

 

My suggestion to you is to spend as much time as you can with your friend and gain as many memories as you can to carry with you after they are gone. If you don't have a lot of other friends to talk to, then pull in with your family, or perhaps even your friend's family as they know what you are feeling. There you will find comfort and there you will learn to grow and find the strength to move on. Don't carry this all on your own, let it out to those you love. And also, if you feel like you can't come to anyone, come here. Others and myself are here to help you through this difficult time.

 

I hope this has helped you some, though I know that nothing I say will ease the pain you have. But perhaps you can at least find comfort in the knowledge that people out there have been where you are, and can help you through this difficult time.

 

Blessed be.

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I can't say much, but I'm going through the exact same thing. At least you're getting time to say good bye. My friend just stoped breathing and droped dead 2 days ago. I know what it's like to not have anyone left. Im at that point in my life right now. Its just me. IO don't think things can't get any worse from her for ether of us, so we can look tward better days. I know how much it stinks now though.

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Sadly to say... but i have in fact gone through this more then once already. I do not know if i can offer any support whatsoever to you. but here goes.

 

The break-up with the girl is a tough one, 5 years is quite a bit... you'd never think such a long lasting relation could break apart. But apparently they do at times. Sorry for your loss there, but like many say. One day you'll wake up again, and realise you haven't even been thinking of her for a while, it's a good idea to find support with someone, although yer situation that can be quite difficult now... in time you will meet someone again. But recover the wounds suffered now first before moving on like that...

 

About yer friend... having lost most my family to cancer, and almost my mother. I can understand very well what you are going through at this point in time. But she still has 2 months to live, if i were you. I'd give yer friend the bestest time of her life, the very best. Spend a lot of time with her, get theme park tickets, movie. Or whatever she likes to do. Spend time with her, in the end it will make her passing easier. However saying that, i remember something. They told my mother the exact same. That she would die in a few months, her cancer was pretty intense. I don't know what happened, but for the first time in my life i did pray. A little while later we found out that the first Chemo session reduced the cancer. The fight was long from over. But never surrender, NEVER GIVE UP THE FIGHT!. Once you tell yourself that you can no longer fight, and accept the fact that you'll die, that is the moment you shall die... maybe it sounds stupid. But i've seen it countless times. My grandpa gave up... and died. A long time friend of mine, gave up and died... a friend of my dads, gave up and died... my mom did not give up and gave it the fight of her life, and lived... 2 other friends of my mom are going through it themselves now and are also fighting hard believing they can make it, and they are still alive. But far from finishing the fight...

 

Good luck with everything, and give your friend my best. Tell her not to give up...

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