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How many dates before you become intimate with someone?


snap1201

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I guess I would define 3 different types of intimacy. How many dates before you are comfortable doing each of these things or does it vary with the guy/gal?

 

1) Basic - Holding Hands, hugging, Kissing

 

2) Intermediate - fooling around such as making out, open-mouth kissing, oral sex, mutual masturbation, etc.

 

3) Advanced - any type of sexual intercourse

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Haha, actually my number of experiences is fairly low, making the range somewhat limited also.

 

I went through a brief teenage phase of kissing anything male I bumped into in a bar. (legal drinking and thereforeeee bar-frequenting age is low here) Nah, not quite THAT bad, but I kissed a lot with no intention of taking things further.

 

i had a couple of few-months relationships, also in my teens, which all started with a kiss on a night out, and didn't go beyond your intermediate phase. No oral either.

 

My first serious relationship started when I was 17. Again, started with a kiss, can't remember how quickly things progressed to stage 2, but I first slept with him after 3-4 months I think (he was my first). We were together for 5 years.

 

My current relationship is with someone I already knew very well. We confessed our feelings for one another after being friends for a while, and kissed the moment we told each other how we felt. Then i couldn't see him for a few days because of exams, but we slept together within the first week. It just felt right because we already had such a deep emotional connection. We're five years down the line and still deliriously happy, so clearly a good call there

 

I'm kind of hoping there won't be any next people, but if there were I'd assess the situation again and go with what felt right again. It's worked for me so far!

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It really depends..

 

However .. I would be intimate with someone before I began holding hands walking in a park with them.. Holding hands is not something you do at the beginning of a relationship... but I would have sex with someone before that!

 

With most of my relationships I have slept with the person with 2-3 weeks holding hands maybe a month or so..

 

If the date went well, I'd better get a kiss by the second date.. usually the first.

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well i've started dating a guy now just a few days ago... went on 3 dates so far. first -- no contact except a hug. second -- held hands, leg rubbing, hand messaging... third - a small kiss and all of the above.

 

It's realllly awkward for me though BECAUSE I am 22 years old, he's 23 and very experienced with relationships and i have a feeling he wants to move fast... however I am still a virgin and would want to wait at least a month/we're committed before I have sexual intimacy. So we'll probably be kissing and maybe stage 2 type stuff before then... there is *insane* chemistry between us though... if I weren't a virgin I'd prob. have sex after a week or 2 of dating, but circumstances are different for me.

 

I heard 2 weeks is quite typical for most people in their 20s if that helps at all, from magazines and friends.

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It does depend. But in general, for me, I need to know the person as a friend or peer first. For a good while.

 

The matter of dates doesn't really dictate it for me. If I've known him for a long time, and established a good base, it might go very fast. Hugs, and general affection will have already been there.

 

If I don't yet know him, and we're getting to know each other through the dates, it will take lots of dates for me to warm up. It's just how I am. I like courting.

 

Of course it was different if I only wanted a quick and meaningless fun time.

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It does depend. But in general, for me, I need to know the person as a friend or peer first. For a good while.

 

The matter of dates doesn't really dictate it for me. If I've known him for a long time, and established a good base, it might go very fast. Hugs, and general affection will have already been there.

 

If I don't yet know him, and we're getting to know each other through the dates, it will take lots of dates for me to warm up. It's just how I am. I like courting.

 

Of course it was different if I only wanted a quick and meaningless fun time.

 

how many dates is a 'long time' for courting? like a month or two? before you have sex or even kiss?

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It really depends..

 

However .. I would be intimate with someone before I began holding hands walking in a park with them.. Holding hands is not something you do at the beginning of a relationship... but I would have sex with someone before that!

 

With most of my relationships I have slept with the person with 2-3 weeks holding hands maybe a month or so..

 

If the date went well, I'd better get a kiss by the second date.. usually the first.

 

I am trying to understand the rationale behind this. Getting naked together, rubbin genitals together and swapping bodily fluids is less intimate than holding hands in the park?? Or is it the public declaration that has you putting a higher standard on holding hands than the other??

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Hmm. Well, not necessarily anything but possibly everything.

 

I personally see courting as a process where the levels of commitment between us keep rising. There's no rush, there is wooing, there are degrees of getting closer and closer. The idea is that a man will show me that he is interested in something that goes down the road, and he wants to do it with me.

 

In dating, this can happen. Or, a person can be dating 3 different people at a time. Be on the 5th date with me; wanting to progress to us being in bed together. There can be physical intimacy but not the other kinds of intimacy; or rather - one does not depend on the other being there.

And exclusivity and commitment aren't in the picture necessarily.

 

But each will have their own ideas on this. This is just how I see it.

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Hmm. Well, not necessarily anything but possibly everything.

 

I personally see courting as a process where the levels of commitment between us keep rising. There's no rush, there is wooing, there are degrees of getting closer and closer. The idea is that a man will show me that he is interested in something that goes down the road, and he wants to do it with me.

 

In dating, this can happen. Or, a person can be dating 3 different people at a time. Be on the 5th date with me; wanting to progress to us being in bed together. There can be physical intimacy but not the other kinds of intimacy; or rather - one does not depend on the other being there.

And exclusivity and commitment aren't in the picture necessarily.

 

But each will have their own ideas on this. This is just how I see it.

 

Well if that's courting then it's better.

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Whoever posted "wooing". great phrase, implies honesty, integrity, and thoughtfulness. i thought the word was lost between hooking up and getting tight.

I'd woo my friend tonight if I could.

Classy.

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