I need help...I'm overreacting and over-jealous

[setsuko1981]

See I really like this girl a lot (my supervisor) and the thought losing her just hurts me inside. The problem is we haven't really made it official that it's going to be steady (not yet).

 

What holding me back is I am a jealous guy (everytime she mentions her friend or this guy (5 years older than her) that she "likes" him and how she blushes everytime she sees him, I get jealous of her and I show it to her). I know that it is wrong, but I always overreact of slight things, but I am also learning to trust her. Everytime she sees me flirting with someone else, she also gets mad at me. I am really confused of our situation. I don't know what to do, How can I prevent being jealous a lot?

[Mar]

Okay, I'm guessing that you two are dating, anyway, and that things are getting rather serious. But if both you and her have such an issue with jealousy, you need to discuss it before taking the relationship any further. It will only cause huge problems later on.

 

One thing that struck me is that you said that she says how she talks about this guy friend of hers and how she "likes" him....is she ATTRACTED to him? I'd say yes, if she's openly admitting to you that she blushes every time she sees him! It's generally not something you do around just a casual friend. That doesn't bode well for a relationship with you, I'm afraid. Be careful that this isn't a woman who wants to have her cake and eat it too, in dating you and being attracted to this other man and possibly pursuing him down the road.

 

Also, it's generally not a wise idea to date someone at work, ESPECIALLY your supervisor! If things go badly in a future relationship for you, she's in a position to make problems for you, regardless of whether she's said she wouldn't do that. A woman scorned and all that....

 

I would think carefully about all of this before going any further. You have a few rather large obstacles in front of you that are very potential problems later on down the road. Tread carefully!