3 ½ years after break up

[Trajan]

Long story short… my ex and I were together for 2 ½ years and lived together for the last year. Without warning she breaks up with me. I’m devastated and still very much in love with her but try to accept it and try to move on. She becomes very cold towards me and almost seems to be enjoying the pain she has caused me. I find out that she had been cheating on me for the last 8 months of our relationship. I’ve never felt pain like that in my life. That was 3 ½ years ago with no contact in between. It has been a very long road to recovery from what I now see as a serious trauma to my psyche. I still think of her every day but have moved on. Everything in my life now is going great and I’m getting married in two months to a wonderful woman. We are both very much in love and happy together. Then out of the blue, my ex sends me a package of pictures through a friend of mine. The enclosed note says that she came accross the pictures and thought I should have them. She hopes all is well with me and goes on to say that she’s “happier then I've ever been I've been in a great relationship for almost 3 years now I get treated like a princess, I finally got my boob job and I have a great job”. This just knocks my right on my a!s and I find myself reliving the entire break up. My fiancé is very understanding about the whole thing and together we burn the note and pictures in the fireplace. We put it behind us and go on as usual. I guess what brings me here is that I’m disturbed about how hard this note hit me. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

[savagegerbil1607306442]

Reliving the past always hurts, but you have a lot to look forward too. I would let it go. It sounds to me like your ex is a vendictive person who only cares about herself.

 

You know that saying, misery loves company? well I am willing to bet she is miserable, always has been and the only way she feels better is when she brings people down to her level.

[hoppy26]

hey bud.......i know how you feel. i am in your shoes with what you mean about having a 'physce" effect on yourself. my ex of almost the same amount of time just bailed on me. i was a mess for months.......6 months later im ok, but i still feel the truama from her actions. ill never understand how, why, what she was thinking. to be honest i dont need or want to. you have found someone(i hope) that wouldnt even consider this dehumanizing act. good luck pal, dont ever look back on your ex. you have a bright future with your new lady, one who trully loves you.

[kofi2]

I honestly think your ex has nothing going on for her and is jealous you are getting married. I bet she hang to those pics all that time as she probbaly missed you after your absense hoping you will come back. C'mon who mails pics to someone especially if they are in a new relationship? She just hoped it will be the last straw to suck you into communicating with her. Deep down her heart she regrets letting you go but has too much pride to admit it. Just pay no attention to her and go on ahead with your marriage. Let her friend know that you burnt the pictures and will not like to receive anything again from your ex through her. Take care.

[Jamiegirl]

you ex is not jelous but she is liking the fact that she can rub it in your face that shes doing great and she thinks you still want her maybe because you were too nice to her and maybe when you broke up you told her this. She obviously cant get over it, she cant move on she wants you to want her because deep down inside she still wants you.

[persephonesleeps]

she sounds like someone to be avoided...what kind of person sends photos years later? Why did she even keep the photos???

That's messed up.

You are better off without her!

It hurt, because she re-opened an old wound...it's good that you burned the stuff!

[Trajan]

My thanks to all who replied. I guess I'll have to accept that I will never know her true motives for contacting me now. It's enough to know that what ever her reasons were they were completely selfish on her part. I find myself still struggling with all the old emotions of heartbreak and betrayal that this event has brought up again. I'm looking forward to the day when the thought of her and our break up no longer has any effect on me. I suppose that part of the reason I'm still bothered by all of this is that I never had any real closure. I've decided to get my closure by moving on and making a happy and productive life for myself. I'll never let her know how much she really hurt me. I hope all of you get over your break ups much faster than I am.

[MarilynM]

I totally agree. It is so hard to get over someone you love, especially when you have been with that person for years. I think she is trying to get back in your life by sending you "memory pictures". Stay focused on your fiance.