Second Thoughts... Am I Too Young? What Should I Do? :(

[nc_hunni]

Ok, heres my problem.. Im 16, engaged and having second thoughts. My story: I'm set to get married Oct. 18, 2003 to my bf of 2 yrs, He's 19 our relationship has been going Great. Our families are happy and Looking forward to the Wedding. The Thing is We Both are Starting to have Second Thoughts, well not Exactly Second Thoughts but Are Wondering if We Should Go Ahead and get married or Wait and see How Things Go. I Just Really Need Some Other Opinions and Thoughts on What We Should Do. Cause I Mean There's No Doubt In MY Mind That If We Did Get MArried That We'd Be happy. Its just the question of is now the time to do it? Any Advice Would Be Appreciated. Thanks ~*NC*Hunni*~

[Cid]

Ok dont take what I say wrong. But yes I do think that you are too young to get married. You are 16 you should go through school at lease before you get married. I know that you whant to be with him forever, but you should whate 2 years or more. I have a quick question is he your first love?

 

I say live life, dont tie your self down at that age.

 

But do what ever you would like this is my opion on this.

 

And I wish you the best of luck on what ever you do.

 

[buffalosoldier]

Nobody is to say you are too young.i dont think that comes into it.its just how you feel.you might feel that you are too young to get married,but it doesnt mean that coz other people think you are that you are.

you dont have to get married yet,there is plenty of time,and it sounds like you and your boyfriend really love each other,and you must do to be getting married.-this is proof enough that you want to spend a considerable amount of time with him in your life.

i say lucky you!! but just talk about it with your boyfriend,its both of your decisions,nobody elses,and if you are having doubts,well that could be a warning sign to postpone it or simply wedding nerves,you never know!! you dont have to postpone it for long,you could just wait another year,or wait until you absolutely know the time is right and then just go for it.you dont have to put it off for years and years,maybe just until you feel more ready.

hope i helped,good luck!!you sound like one lucky girl to me!

[JGsGirl]

First I would like to say that I am glad you are having second thoughts... I broke off an engagement two weeks before the wedding. I hurt alot of people, myself included, but in the end it's YOUR life and not your families. Will they be disappointed? Probably, but there your family and they will get over it! You have got to make the decision for yourself... I am glad he treats you good and you get along, than there is NO harm in postponing this wedding for a while.... GOOD LUCK and follow YOUR heart no one elses, cause in the end it's your happiness....

[Nifty_Swifty1]

I'm kind of at a loss here. On one hand, you're 16 and you have a lot of life to live. On the other hand the only person I ever met that I would have trusted in a marriage I met when I was about that age, but lost because her parents moved, and she went with them. If I would have been able to keep her here we would be married by now. There are challenges about getting married so young, so you're going to have to think about this pretty good, but in the end its up to you.

[Natalia Dolce]

What is the big rush to be married? You love each other, you want to be together forever, etc etc etc. Well guess what? If your love is that intense and that lasting, it will continue to Be even if you delay the actual marriage. Why not wait a few years? Grow up a little more together. Learn more about yourself, too. Marriage is supposed to be a lifetime commitment. Why can't you be together in a dating sense, strengthening your relationship? And then, at some point in the future, if your feelings still are there, get married? I just don't understand the rushing into marriage thing many people do. If you've got to rush to marry, like you're going to lose everything if you don't, it seems that your relationship is far from being marriage material.

 

Good luck. Even if your family and friends are praising this future wedding and think it's the neatest thing ever to happen, if YOU ARE HAVING DOUBTS IT IS NOT THE RIGHT TIME!

[confused man]

Hi I am 24 years old I got married to my first true love and it was only 14 months after meeting her. I don't regret her but I think we should have waited. We are having a rough time with our feeling. But I to, like others think 16 is a little young. live life he will always be there no matter what and if he's not well then it answers your question, WAIT

[marthasunny]

You change so much between the ages of 16 and your mid 20s. Often, what winds up happening is that you and your fiance/husband wind up moving apart. Trust me! I started a relationship at the age of 17 which I thought would last forever. I never loved anyone as much. Yet, guess what? Over time, the "in love" feelings usually go away, and you're left with the actual person. Psychology books say that a great deal of personality adjustment occurs into your early 20s. To be with someone before that time is taking a gamble that you won't grow apart. And, yes, while it's true that couples of all kinds grow apart rather quickly, I think that couples who get married young (as you) are that much more likely to grow apart. Just a thought! I think that sometimes when you read certain posts, you can say, "That just won't happen to me even if the statistics say something." You're right. Statistics can't apply to just one person, but almost everyone thinks that. Guess what! For all of the people who think the statistics don't apply to them, many eventually find out that statistics do.