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*Fake sick days

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That's a great way to get fired, the boss might start to think you're getting a little TOO carried away with your drinking and recommend that you seek help because it's taking a toll on your professional career. Try thinking up something more original, like you're lactos intollerant and you're in the bathroom on the throne all day with the squirts or something. Drinking will tend to make bosses watch you closer.

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