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It seems to be on my mind all the time......

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Hi all. Firstly I would like to thank those of you who have helped me with your views on my previous posts regarding my recent breakup, your advice has been invaluable and I cannot express enough gratitude.

It has now been a little over a month since we separated, during which time we have remained in infrequent contact. As time has passed by im beginning to have a much easier time of ‘keeping my chin up’ Im going out with my friends more and starting to be able to enjoy myself a little now. In my previous posts I mentioned that one of our main reasons for separating was due to her desire to go out have some fun, meet other guys, experience some variety and just be a little care free for a while. Im under the impression that this is not much more than a phase that she wants to go through before being able to settle down. I know that she has slept with somebody since we separated but nonetheless I still miss her and love more than ever, we had some really great times together and it seems a shame to throw it all away. In the last month while ive had time to sit and reflect on the two years that we had together im slowly becoming aware of all of the errors of my ways and the real reasons why we broke up. Ive started to address issues that I wasn’t even aware I had until now, jealousy, insecurity and many other major turn offs. I feel ive moved a long way in a short amount of time but still have a long way to go yet.

I would like to think that perhaps one day there maybe a chance for us to give things another try but I wouldn’t have thought that would be anytime soon. In the mean time logic tells me that the best course of action would be to do exactly the same thing that’s she’s doing, go out have fun, enjoy life.


Its her 21st birthday in a few days time and im a little unsure as to what to do, I don’t want to ignore it but im not sure how much is too much? I think ill send a card but should I put ‘from (me)’ at the end or ‘love (me)’ the latter is only being honest but is it inappropriate for an ex to say such things? I was also thinking about giving a gift too but is that advisable or should I just send a card?


Any thoughts would be much appreciated. Thankyou all.

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Hi BlueEyedBoy,


Great to hear you have been activly developing your person. I'm always delighted to see people take positive steps from learning through their experiences. Don't worry that she is still in your head - she will always be there !! It's just the capacity she exsists in which matters.


Regarding the Birthday. It's her 21st, so it's one of the most important to her. A card would do fine I suspect, and whether you should write "love" or "From" is up to you. What is more important I think, is which one you write and why. You can write "Love ME" and that could be a genuinely friendly statement. How she interprets it is another thing then aswell. You should not be trying to get all cryptic about it. Don't read into this at all - but if you want to be sure to keep some distance there, then I would recommend you leave out the "Love" for this one.


Hope this helps you some,

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