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a strapping 20yr old 6'2" hate machine


rickothesicko
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Hi again,

I've been angry quite often lately. I blame it on society and my parents. Why do unattractive, low self esteem parents even have children even bother having children? My whole family is on anti depressants and none of them are happy with life really including me. My mom is a very sensitive easily hurt character and my dad is an aggressive ogre who thinks he's never to blame for anything.

 

I have 4 siblings and just found out that I have a 4th sibling a few weeks ago. I'm starting to resent society and my parents for bringing me into this terrible world. My feelings of sadness and isolation are turning into bitterness and hate.

 

While everyone else is out having fun living the good life I'm not and can't help feeling cynical. I live with my mom now and she's supportive and kind hearted but I treat her bad. I feel bitter that these my emotionally unbalanced parents could even have considered bringing children into this world when there so screwed up.

 

My mom is a depressive valium pill popper and my dad is no better. One of my sisters got pregnant when she was only 18 and everyone of my other siblings is just a depressed. I'm no better and lately I've been thinking of hurting people and causing terror on society. Sorry just had to get this out of my system. Like my mom I've been seeing a therapist for about 6 weeks but like my mom (who has been seeing a therapist for over 2yrs) I don't think it's helping.

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Hey there rickothesicko...

i feel that yes you may have been angry quite recently and you feel that society and your parents are to blame, but how is this so, you may find that your parents or entire family are depressed...how do you help them with this? if you arent there to help you too are part of the problem. im not saying this just for your post but under any circumstances.

you say that you dont truelly treat your mother with all the respect she deserves.

 

I live with my mom now and she's supportive and kind hearted but I treat her bad.

 

well maybe this in itself doesnt make matters any better , do you honestly feel that she can become any healthier within the situation she has at the minute with more things piling up on her? because i dont believe so. you need to be their supporting, working together as a family and appreciating what you have.

 

unfortunatley to what you say i believe that any person has the right to bring up a child that they feel they are capable of looking after. you say you live with your mum, if shes that bad of a mother and not allowed to have children why are you still with her? i dont want you to give a reason such as finances because that in itself would then show that you are incapable of looking after yourself and she already has to look after herself to the additon of you and 4 other siblings....(baring in mind that was an example not judgement).

 

it seems that she is a very good mother to bring up/raise these children, you may feel like you said that everyone around you is depressed but why are these reasons are they because of your parents...if not then you cant blame them in such a way that you do. you say that one of your sisters had a child at eighteen yes it may feel a young age for you, but was it for her? how has this child changed her life effected her? has it made her feel happier within her life and more social. what may be wrong in your eyes can be seen as the most thought out and correct judgement to make

 

you started of with asking why unattractive people have children or even bother...im sorry but i dont see how the way someone looks can change this. what right is it for you to decide whoi can and cant have children? do you want children? because if so how would you feel knowing that the world or people didnt want you to have a child because of the way you look or a disability each and everyone is equal.

 

each and every person has a different personality and a different personality towards others you say My mom is a very sensitive easily hurt character and my dad is an aggressive ogre who thinks he's never to blame for anything. but is this seen all the time or is there apoint where they are effectionate? if they are still together then there is a reason and interaction keeping them there. a personailty can change so dont judge as easily as what you do.

by saying this are you trying to imply that the pair dont work together? that each has a diverse effect on the other and if so i can see the point you are making but this is when you may all feel that you would like to talk to someone such as your mum going to see a therapist. it may not be working for you but it is for her....is there a reason that you feel it is not working for you. can this aspect be change?

 

judgements such as being aggressive towards others and displaying aggression towards society is not the right way to go. think thurally about your actions and why you are making them, what good they will do and what you will get from it.

 

so how did you find out about this fourth sibling is this an aspect that angers you? that you did not know of them? you need to get down to the point of why you are feeling like this to over come it.........

 

may i ask why is it that you are feeling so isolated is there more than what yu are explaining right now? if everyone else in the world is having fun then they have worked god damn hard to get it and if they havent well there lucky. you havent failed if your still trying and it looks to me that your still trying. now get back out there empower yourself and have fun. arrange things do what youve wanted to and enjoy your life it seems that you are missing out. and from what i see your not that old anyway.

 

you may feel as if you are not meant to be in this world but you do have a meaning and a point, no matter how great or small you will make a differance.

 

and do you know what you probably feel a whole lot better for venting this so now you may have the beginning of your motivation.

 

good luck and i hope i made some sense.

kel.

ill listen if you want to talk.

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