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Don't Know How to proceed

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hey guys, Well, heres the situation:

Ive known this girl for three years. This year i got feelings for her. heres a timeline:

April Started getting feelings for her.

May She found out that I had feelings for her (not from me) and became distant, not talking to me, etc.

June She graduated from my school, was still distant.

July I didnt see her from June 25th until July 27th. When I saw her again she was completely flirtacious with me.

August We hung out for first half and she was showing feelings toward me. I then told her that I liked her and she expressed feelings for me. She said she didnt want to get into a relationship because she was still not over her last one. End of August and shes distant again.

September She is distant for first week or so, then becomes flirtacious again. Around the 13th she became distant and is still distant to this day.


My question: I see this girl on a regular basis because shes in the prop crew of my marching band (thats how we met 3 years ago, she played in the band). How is it that I should go about in dealing with her? I try and talk to her when I see her but at the same time I dont stick to her like glue, I give her her space. Its getting me mad that I try to be "just friends" with her and she just isnt responding at all. I dont want to completely cut her off because some of my best friends in the band are friends with her, so she hangs with them, hence it would be weird for me to cut her off and hang with them at the same time. I dont know what I should do. I've sort of come to accept that she and I wont be together, but it hurts me that she keeps distant and treats me in a cold manner.

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the thing with girls (well it may be true for guys too, but not as much i think) is that they don't know what they want. i'm a bit tired of girls always having the final word, like hey have to decide. it makes them act like spoiled child. and you always end up hear-broken when someone you have feelings for treat you this way. if i were you i'd go straight to her, i'd tell her "i've got feelings for you, it seems like you don't know what you want and i can understand, but i don't want to get hurt because of that, so from now on i want a clear answer, either you treat me like a friend or a possible boyfriend, but if you're to act distant with me it will be for good because i don't want to be a toy for anyone, even for you."

of course talk to her nicely and all, but makes sure she understands, because if you just play the part of the guy who waits for her to decide what she wants she will treat you bad even unconsciously. and also makes sure you will be strong enough to just be her friend, you might think "as long as she's happy i will be", but believe me the day you see her in the arms of another guy while you became a very close friend to her, it will make you feel so bad you will go insane. so if she wants to be your friend, make sure that friendship will be enough for you to be happy, if your feeling like you need her badly while you're just friend you will fall from a bigger mountain. don't make my mistake, dont be her friend while secretly still hoping to get in a relationship with her.

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