he tells me he loves me but not ready to commit

[pharaoh_of_power]

hello all... i am a 19 year old.

I recently had a boyfriend who was 28..

we were together 4 a while and it was a good relationship..

however he broke up with me last week..

he told me he has a lot of problems and cannot commit as he is scared of going out and kissing someone else..

he told me he loved me but has problems... i dont think he has had a relation ship longer then 2 months.

he has had a bad life and i guess is used to going out every sat nite and doing what ever he likes.

I know hestill loves me as he calls me, emails me all the time.

he said he wants to still see me but "not be a couple"

he also said he has no interest in anybody else.. ( i do believe this)

over all I think he is scared of commitment... but the more time i spend with hium... the more i love him..

he told me if he saw me with any 1 else he would get upset but thats the risk he is going to take...

is he playing with my head or has he found someone good but is putting me on the shelf for the time being !?? he is 28 years OLD please help

[Gilgamesh]

Hello Pharaoh

 

Just because he is 28 doesnt mean he is mature, he wants his cake and eat it too.

 

He wants you to be commited to him and not go out with anyone, and yet he does what he wants.

 

You "Think" he loves you because he contacts you, Do you really think that is what love is all about?

 

Basically he just wants friends with benefits, my feeling is your being used, why you think his relationships dont last long? it doesnt take the other girls long to figure this guy out.

 

You think your going to "cure" him? forget about it! dont fall in that trap, YOU cannot change him, only HE can change him, and frankly I dont think he wants to. if he loved you he would. remember you only represent 50% of the equation, and only responsable for YOUR half, if hes not commiting then your being used.

 

you say you have been together "4 awhile" I take it, not very long, over time you will gain experience enough to avoid these types of guys like the plague, women his age already see him for what he is.

 

something you wrote hit me kind of strange;

 

he told me he has a lot of problems and cannot commit as he is scared of going out and kissing someone else

 

So let me ask you:

 

When you to were in a relationship, he never kissed you?

And who is the other person, that makes YOU the "someone else"?

 

maybe theres a lot more here thats missing, but, on the surface, from what you wrote, id have to say, that this guy is not serious about you and he will only hurt you.