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having lunch this week-end with the ex.??help...............

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Hey everyone..I've posted a few times here and the most recent one was"Broke up with girlfriend,now she's dating this guy"

Well anyways my ex and I have been broken up for 6 weeks now. She has been dating someone since about the second week we broke up. I've told her in the time since we broke up that I still love her and wanna try to make things work.

So tonight I stopped by her wotk to drop off her cell phone and then we went for coffee to talk. Well we talked about us and the problems we had and about how she gave so much to the relationship and that she loved me soo much when we were going out and that I never showed it back. I've told her I've had alot of time to think in the past 6 weeks and realized my mistakes, fear of commitment and stuff. She says she is not ready for anything and she needs time by herself. She did tell me that her parents really missed me..made me feel good..

We talked for about 2 hours at the coffee shop and I mentioned about 3 times that I loved her but she never said it back.That hurt me and everytime I would mention about us , giving it another try she would say that she's not sure and that she is scared to try again.

So we agreed to go out for lunch on Sunday as she wants to give me a cheque for part of the $$$ she owes my dad.(He paid for her tuition)

So the question is should I really go for lunch with her even though she may not feel the same way about me , but the thing is she may still have feelings for me as we did go out for almost 3 years. So should I go for lunch with her and see what happens and risk getting hurt or should I cancel. If I do go should I do anything special to show her how much she means to me or should I lay low.


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Hey there,

This is kind of a loose/loose situation - if you do go out for lunch then get hurt, if you dont go out for lunch you might regret it for the rest of your life and kick yourself for it

So I think you should go out for lunch, cause then you just wont wonder. Jus tlike with everything in life!

As for showing her how special she is, I think she already knows if you told her a few times. Just be pieceful and resourceful dont just rush into something and get too scared........ behave and this should show her quite a lot!

If you want to chat PM me

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I can't really tell you waht to do, but I can tell you what happened to me since I was in the same situation, maybe you can learn from my mistakes. After five years, she left me. Four weeks of non-talking and we started flirting, then I asked her to go eat. I told her I wasn't going though unless she called it a date. She did, we went and i haven't talked to her since. My problem was that she wanted to just go out and have fun, I wanted to discuss the potential of us (five years is a long time). My advice is this: if you can handle just being with her without wondering if you'll ever get back together, then go for it. Personally I couldn't, I wasn't ready, but I also feel like at the end of the night it was me who realized she was different. I found closure in that last date, even though I went in expecting more. Hope that helps.

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Wow I tend to agree with both of you.Finzsoftie I realize what you mean about giving it a try and see what happens and risk getting hurt but maybe not..And Alphaomega I agree with you also... But the thing you got was closure..Maybe I need that too.. I'm thinking maybe I should go for lunch and see what happens because deep down I really want to be with her and maybe we can progress with something, anything about our relationship, but if things don't work out that way, then at least I know I have some kind of closure or at the very least step back from contacting her for a mojnthh or so..

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