jealous of boyfriends ex fiancee

[nicole1970]

hi,

desperate for some advice.i was a single mother with 3 kids until 4 month ago.then i met this great guy.everything went very fast and now we are living together.its all going brilliantly but i cant help but feeling jealous of his ex fiancee.until a few days ago even her engagement ring was still in the house.he has never lived with his ex and told me he couldnt really been in love with her.he says he never felt this way before.i asked him to marry me because at that particular time it just felt right.he said,he will-later.i found it quite upsetting as he had a big engagementparty with his ex and agreed to marry her when she asked him by text message.i couldnt be happier but also feel rejected.i know he loves me but i cant understand why i feel this way.i sometimes feel 2nd best even he finished with her.i know everything went pretty fast with us but i wouldnt change a thing.i just feel very insecure as he will not give me the same committment as he has given her.thanks for any advice given.

[DREAM]

As you have said in your post that he has never lived with his ex, so this is something different, and it's a first step. You need to ask your self the reasons your asking him to marry are they the right ones. cos at the MOMENT YOU HAVE OTHER QUESTIONS in your mind. I would say to speak to him and explain to him how you are feeling trust me this way you will get your answers and feel better.

[charmed]

Hi There !

 

i just feel very insecure as he will not give me the same committment as he has given her

 

Tell me - exactly what commitment did he gove her that had any relevance at this stage? If you want a man to marry you for the sake of marrying you - then you can get that. This won't give you happiness necessarly, but you will have the "committment"you are after. In saying that, you're man won't make that committment so lightly this time. You should be glad that he is not willing to committ right now - and when he does committ he will mean it. As for the committment that he gave her - do you think that engagement really was committment to her at this stage. Where did the engagement get her? She is now, not married to him and you are with him. Already you are doing better than her, and you aren't even engaged yet!!!

 

Take it easy, and do not rush this man. If you do you will perhaps scare him away. THe last thing he will want, and he has told you so, is to be forced to committ because of your insecurities. He aint going anywhere right now - so be happy !

 

Hope this helps you some,

[SweetypieEnlightenedOne]

He is not giving you the same quick answer he gave to her because of one thing.."IT DIDN"T WORK WITH HER" so he is naturally afraid. I wouldnt bring the subject of marriage to his attention again unless he brings it up, because if you keep pushing this marriage thing over and over again, he will continue to say "later" then a year later it will be a flat out "No, I'm not ready"

 

The key word in this is "EX" and i seriously want to warn you. If you keep putting it in his head that "I know you still love her" or "You know you want to get her back, your just using me as a rebound bla bla bla" and this whole thing, you will make him manifest something that may not have been there in the first place. I want to send you something to help you ok? Stay confident and he will also remain confident, start having doubts and he will begin to have doubts.

 

Behind every strong man is a confident and strong woman. If you want a man to leave you and hurt you, keep doing this, keep finding things to be insecure about, and even worst, keep bringing the ex up.

 

Try to illiminate all discussion over the ex. Act like she isnt even phazing you and make sure you are there for him, in every single way and especially in ways she was not! Do this for a while and he will be the one begging you to marry him.

You have to know how to play the hand you were dealt.